Jujumama's Love Academy

Introduction to Change Your Man – Book Released November 2008

By : Kenya K Stevens – www.jujumama.com

OK. I have a confession to make. For many years I behaved very badly in my marriage. I was controlling, spoiled, immature, needy, and even violent. Not only did I behave badly, but I was actually – deep inside – afraid to let go of my disruptive, disagreeable behaviors. I felt as though I had access to power only through the forceful behaviors that felt natural for me. I did not want to accept my role as nurturer, mother, and wife. The traditional, domestic female archetypes seemed weak and powerless. I did not want to be vulnerable or sweet to my husband. I was afraid he’d take advantage of that. I preferred the strong, willful, and direct approach. Seizing each opportunity to proclaim sovereignty and control; I unwittingly became the “man” of the house.

At the same time, I wanted to be treated like an absolute queen. Wine me, dine me, adore my beauty – make love to me – and worship at the shrine of my depleted feminine essence. What a quandary. I wanted desperately to be the man and the woman in my relationship. Being the woman was acceptable for most holidays such as Valentine’s Day, birthdays, anniversaries and especially Mother’s Day (Which he had better not ever forget!!). But other that that, treat me as the boss, the big man! Our home was a war zone until the day I realized the issue – I could not blame my husband for my misery any longer – I was failing at marriage and the cause was ME!!

About five years into our marriage I finally began to see the real issues.  Once I began to take responsibility for my own behaviors, I found that I had the power to Change My Man! It happened almost by accident. A serious illness struck my womb and reproductive organs and, for the first time in our marriage, I was made vulnerable to my husband in the blink of an eye. A funny thing happens when a doctor tells us we have only four months to live.  We get really honest!  I had to finally admit that I was not being the type of wife that deserves the love of her husband.  I couldn’t die with this on my conscious. I didn’t appreciate or trust my husband!  I had no confidence that he could ever care for me the right way or be the man I needed him to be.  Thus I took control of most situations.  In those hospital rooms with tubes in every orifice, I began to receive “divine” answers. I was sick in my womb because I was sick in my womanhood.  I was killing my self through the womb because I did not honor my womb. The Truth about my overtly YANG actions, attitudes and beliefs was something that spoke personally to me from deep within. I had to begin to tell myself the truth – I was rejecting my own womanhood.

What is the importance of standing naked in truth? The old folks say that “the truth shall set you free”. Telling the truth about my relationship is the most freeing act that I have ever initiated at my own expense. Once I decided to take responsibility for the war zone in my marriage, knowing that I create my life with my thoughts and actions, the entire Universe shifted to help me to heal. I began to discover books. The first was The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessenger. I read each of her books and then moved on to The Surrendered Wife series by Laura Doyle. With the combination of my own inner Truth and revelation – this new information about how men are affected by a woman’s moods and actions began to grow me beyond my old, stubborn shell. I began to make small changes slowly and with great reluctance. With even the smallest shift – my appreciation of him, my new found sweetness, my ability to now allow him to lead and my willingness to follow – my husband changed magically! As I progressed in accepting and integrating new information about the power of femininity, I single handedly saved my marriage and my life. I became free of the reproductive illness in no time.  The doctor’s were amazed.

The importance of this ordeal is that I do believe that others can benefit from my story. I have learned the secrets to changing my man! I used to hear people say that it is impossible to change a man. I even hear the old ladies say that to try it is futile. I beg to differ. I have seen the changes in my man since I have changed my own irrational fear of losing control. I have seen my husband become willing to please me as I have become more appreciative of each little thing he does. I have witnessed my husband rise to protect and take care of me as I have begun to trust him unconditionally.  As I stopped questioning his every move, giving unsolicited ‘advise’ and making suggestions calling it “help”, he has begun to stand up as any man will when he is allowed to lead!

It’s all about the POWER of being a woman. You know who you are; you’re just like me, good looking and smart, confident and sophisticated—independent and strong. You might have a great job and maybe, many college degrees. You put on your tough, masculine shell in order to burst the glass ceiling, survive the degradation of having to be perfect, and remain sane in a society that expects you to be androgynous. Deep inside, you have buried your feminine nature only to drudge her up strategically to win favor in life. You hide from your natural feminine qualities to protect yourself from being eaten alive in this seemingly male dominated culture; and rightfully so. And when you find love, most of the time is dwindles when you realize that he is not going to serve your every need or fulfill your every desire. To be vulnerable, open and feminine with the opposite sex is not the norm – so it’s a challenge to learn and practice the art of true womanhood.

In order to CHANGE MY MAN I had to rekindle my role as the woman. I had to submit! (Curse word – I know). If this word feels like a curse word to you – then you really need to read this book. I, indeed, had to submit to my real inner powers to change my life and my man. Submitting to my husband came later and not without long days and nights – years even – of misunderstanding and hardship. Reading the chapters about my transformation may seem challenging at first – but I weave in proof that restoring sane womanhood is easier than it sounds and has many rewards!

I share my personal journey in marriage to give you a peek into the ways I changed my man by losing the sassy, Diva image. Alas, the control freak in me awakened to her femininity and achieved the true power to create all that I desire. I share the very spiritual processes that came to me when I asked the Universe to show me how to change. I share the 9 principles that changed my man for good. I believe that you will LOVE knowing how these principles and processes altered the course of my life and even healed me from a life threatening reproductive illness. Knowing my step-by-step processes will arm you with substantial information on how to change YOUR man and heal your relationship!

Part I, Stop Confronting Him, is about how direct confrontation of a man pushes him deep into a cave with no access. Passive Aggressive confrontations as well as outwardly aggressive behaviors have devastating affects on our love lives. I provide healing processes that can be done in 15 minutes or less to shift these troubled spots. In Part II, Stop Directing Him I’ll explain how giving directions to a man can shut him away from you on the deepest levels. And finally, in Part III, End Obsessive Talking I disclose secrets to indirect, sensual and spiritual forms of communication that will replace the excessive talking that sometimes causes strong backlash from our men.

By now, many of you might be asking yourselves a very important question. Can I REALLY change my man? Do I feel comfortable being woman? Is my denial of true womanhood   wrecking havoc in my relationship? I invite you to take this survey to asses this for yourselves…

(Be Honest with your self – Answer each question yes or no)

1. Do you get upset when the man in your life will not do what you feel he should do?

2. Do you tell the man in your life what to do or how to behave?

3. Is the man in your life always wrong, misinformed or ignorant about simple things?

3. Does the man in your life shirk responsibilities at home while you take up the slack?

4. Do you feel as though the man in your life avoids talking to you choosing TV, work, or any other distraction over having conversations with you?

If you answered yes to even one of these questions, this book is definitely for you. It’s time for you to change your situation and Change Your Man! You will do this with ease as you change your own behaviors. For once, it is not relevant to place blame. Blaming him, blaming your self, blaming life in general will not heal your relationship. Breaking up with him will not heal your future relationship! You’ll just invent another man who will push you to take a similar journey into your own Womanhood. The work that we will do together is about understanding how to live a different life. I want you to have it easy like me.  Stop running from relationship to relationship in search of something that you must create! Change Your Man and reclaim yourself as a woman! Take a spiritual journey with me as we incorporate the Law of Attraction and other Universal Principles in a process that will be just as easy as it is FUN!

Benefits of Reading Change Your Man

• Rekindle the Love and Intimacy in your marriage
• Feel happy and successful as a woman
• Teach your daughters how to be feminine and relaxed through your example
• Discover the 9 Secret Principles to rekindling your femininity
• Discover 12 Easy Processes to increase your femininity
• Become the type of woman that every man loves
• Improve your relationship with your father, boss, brothers and all men
• Improve your relationships with women
• Feel peaceful and relaxed every day
• Enjoy your life as a woman – maintain orgasmic feelings of bliss all of the time…