Jujumama

Wow – What an amazing me I saw in the mirror today! I was out to lunch with a guy and a gal whom I love – actually new friends and potential clients. We went to the Cheese Cake Factory – my favorite place! Odd – I didn’t have dessert…

Late in the conversation we shifted to the topic of my marriage and the fact that my husband wants us to explore polyamory and compersion, two beautiful and evolved concepts that I am both fearful and in awe of.

The brother (well, he’s a white dude, by every man is my brother) began asking me why my husband wanted to explore this and how I felt about it.  He assured his lover that he would NEVER do anything like this.  He mentioned that fact that maybe I was being bamboozled – well, he didn’t use that term. But he said maybe my husband is a “master manipulator”…hhmmmmm

It stabbed me in the stomach to hear ME say this – sure the ME who was speaking to ME through HIM. I thought about this comment in two ways to find the deep and profound insight…the goodies!

First I thought about it from the stand point of The Law of Attraction. When another person walks into your reality and says something that bites you in the butt, take pause. Know in your heart that you are hearing a voice from deep within.  Be still.

To suggest that my husband is manipulating me mirrors my own sub-conscious thoughts: ‘maybe my husband is manipulating me, dammit’!

Sure, I have or must have thought about his quest to expand our relationship from this vantage point before.  What conditioned American woman wouldn’t?  And hell yes – this negro just might be manipulating me! I can see how this is a thought I must have thunk a thousand times;  although, I don’t recall – sub-conscious.   He knows I love him more than the sky and sun and moon, so he is using that to get me to maybe agree to something that I am fearful of…YEEEESSS,  that’s it! NOT!

So I had to say THANK YOU UNIVERSE for showing me the old ME who is thinking this way through my lovely European brother.  He gave me the divine opportunity to explore this wounded part of ME today!

So this may be useful for you: When others speak, listen, try to find the YOU in them, even if you don’t want to hear from that other YOU.  Try to know that everyone is reflecting you even if what they are saying is far from your personal, conscious truth…

The comments of others mirror back what we are thinking deep within. It is good to analyze the crazy things people say in this manner. In this way you avoid taking everything personally, getting offended and/or upset.

Just think, If I had become offended I wouldn’t have had an epiphany today that gave me a full orgasm and almost crashed my car…read on…

You Ready? I must indeed have been thinking this way and so I had to talk to my Inner Self about this quandary…

So I called my Inner Self – yup, just like that.  I just called her in from the Ethers while driving my phat SUV through the uppity Atlanta suburbs.  I asked her – ‘Self- do you think this man is manipulating you?’  She laughed, hard, I mean this B rolled on the floor, not quite an ugly laugh, but a real loud, sarcastic howl. Immediately my inner self spoke.  She said ‘well honey,  there are parts of you that think this way, come on – you’ve seen men manipulate women and you hate it – fear it!  So of course you have some old biddy in you with a bad attitude.  You were conditioned to distrust me! But here is the real truth, if your husband is master manipulator, then you too are a master manipulator – we only attract who and what we are’.

Profound.

In that moment I felt the old biddy in me who DOES INDEED believe that old crap – the slime and dirt about men – they manipulate, use, and molest!  I saw her her the same words of truth I was hearing from my Inner Self.  And you know what happened next?  I saw her melt like the evil witch of the west.  Yes, she moaned as she melted… I felt a powerful clearing on the deepest level from my creamy inner thighs to my tingling, divine third eye.  I felt I was in a slow motion movie, I struggled to gain control of the wheel again.  (Maybe I’ll save contacting Inner Self for home use ONLY).

As she died I thought about it for a moment. I tried to find ways I was a manipulator. I do have a way with words, but I am far from savvy when it comes to talking someone into something that they don’t want to do…but I sell life coaching for a living…I talk for a living…people pay me for talking…for writing…300 sold…deceit…Juju…love…mirrors…a lie?

Wait just a damned minute!  I am not a Master Manipulator!

Epiphany! (((Orgasmic Release)))… Right there in the car – oh sh-t!  Bliss…huh? I obviously don’t care if ya’ll think I’m nuts…

OK – cell phone.  I called my husband.  ‘Honey, I am not a master manipulator and thus nor are you’.  ‘HUH?’.  It’s OK my king, I have to go – talk later – I realized I was late picking up my five year old from school…How profoundly simple.  If he is that then I am that.  I am not that so I can rest assured that he is not that.  Mates are Mirrors.  Life be so simple.  Goddess is Good.

But it really works folks.  Analyze your life and always take the comments of others into deep meditation.  Oh come on, you do it either way.  You know you meditate daily on the deranged comments of others.  Here is your old mantra: “Why did that B say that?  What the F is her problem?  I need to stay away from that fool.  I can’t F’n believe that!

All I am asking you to do is to shift that meditation…and upgrade the mantra!

Step One:  Don’t take anything personally. When you hear a comment you don’t like, focus on it.  Ask your Inner Self (not while driving) if somewhere, or in someway you too believe this preposterous thing that this person is saying.  I bet you will find that somewhere or somehow you do! Maybe not the conscious part of you, but maybe the lingering hurt and wounded part of you.  The old biddy pent up with anger, seething pessimism and rage that you are clearing from your life.

Good.  New Mantra: What does this mean?  What is the meaning?  I created this!  What is the meaning of the comment?  How is it true and untrue at the same time?  I am so thankful.  Thank you for the comment.

Step Two:  Ask your Inner Self is it really true. OK – so you know that, by virtue of attracting the statement, that somehow and some wounded part of you believes this person’s arrogant, ignorant comment.  You are witnessing YOUR belief, but maybe it’s time to let that old thought go (which is of course why you had the good fortune of running into someone with the good grace to say it).  You see, God loves you – LOL!

Maybe they said you’re not good at what you do, you are ugly, your dress is too tight, you look funny, your haircut sucks, you should try another profession, you should give up on your dreams, your dreams are foolish, he doesn’t love you, she ain’t all that, you don’t have what it takes….blah blah blah  Recall your new mantra: Thank You For Sharing, what does it mean?

Your Inner Self will tell you all about how it is SOOOOOOO untrue, but that you have harbored this erroneous belief sub-consciously.  You will also receive instructions on how to weed that old belief out and align to your actual potential which is infinite.  You will begin to discover the real truth about yourself, your sub-conscious garbage and your real truth and potential!

We create others to speak to us of who we are BEING – good bad | ugly and beautiful.  We should be thankful when someone comes to show us who we are BEING.  Now we have a clue as to what is going on in the darker regions of our minds. Others shine the light there for us.  All there is left to do is accept that this is what was and to BECOME someone new.  Learn from the comments and weed the negative out of your soul…When you begin to attract only those who uplift you, support you, speak well of you and so forth, then you will know that your garden is, finally, free of weeds. (But don’t wait for this – takes lifetimes – LOL!)

Master Manipulator my foot. I am not that, my loving husband who has supported me for 13 years while I have never worked, never felt unloved and never gone hungry, supported me through cancer, made love to my bald chemo self, made babies with me, protected me, always supported my work and lifestyle and gives me that good honey lovin’ – simply not that. And now that I have found that old biddy hiding in me, skeptical about men, lacking trust in men, I have weeded her out of my spirit with just one burst of bliss.  I can move on.  Who knows what will happen next on our amazing journey of marriage and his amazing request for openness…and my longing for openness but fear of it?

Love is a journey, not a destination!

Bye – And Blessing to my European Warrior – thanks for the rather dangerous orgasm…

Kenya K

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