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Archive for January 29th, 2009
I am a black man and a cheater. Not all the time, just every now and then. The itch comes to me, and no matter what my wife does, I still can’t help but want another woman. At least for a night, or two, or three.
I love my wife very much. No woman I’ve ever met or will meet will hold a more important place in my life. I also love my kids, our house, my job and the fish in my daughter’s room. I love everything about my life at home, even though my relationship has become dull and rocky. But while I love having a strong black family, I also love being a man, and there is a part of me that just can’t handle monogamy.
I see alot of misinformation in Essence and other black women’s magazines about men and what we want. It’s silly to me, because women don’t know a thing about us. At the same time, they spend all their time talking about us. They always think they have us figured out, that we can be changed, and that they can come up with some magic formula that will control us and make us want to give them all the blissful matrimony they are seeking.
They couldn’t be more wrong.
So here is a wild story that happened fairly recently. This may help you get to the root of some of your own relationship woes. I love it when I find the root to my relationship issues. This is the real work of relationships.
That man or that woman is providing you the PERFECT opportunity to see who you are! He or she is showing you everyday with his or her actions. When you see something you do not like, try to recall this blog post…LOL!
This is my Daddy in the picture to the right. I love my Daddy. Fortunately for me, he was there in the house with us from my birth to the present. I do not live at home, obviously, but I know Daddy is there with Mom and they have been a couple for 36 years and counting.
Cool – so what’s the problem?
Well, recently my husband and I have been having a few physical battles. Sure, this was the norm early in our marriage, but I was the one starting the physical trouble.
I willed myself to put down the boxing gloves and shot for a more favorable solution to my issues with him.
Sounds good right? Well, apparently I did not get deep enough…
I recently had a vision of my Daddy spanking me in the night when I would wake up and cry for no apparent reason. My Mom would ask him to come in and ‘deal with me’ so that the family could sleep. My Daddy, being a wonderful partner to my Mom, would follow suit. He would come into the room and deal with me, usually giving me a few light pats on the thigh to warn me that he was not going to tolerate my waking up at night and crying aloud for no reason at all.
Sounds fairly normal, right?
But what happened after the mild spanks is the core of my physical issues in marriage…
