Jujumama

[Picture From Karma - My Girl in Texas - Blog - Powerful Feminine Energy!]

Here is my mission statement:

Kenya K Stevens transforms billions of women into powerful feminine avatars by providing relevant support for the rebirth of the feminine soul. I believe women live joyous, orgasmic, magical lives; we absolutely and easily create any form of love relationship, community and/or family we desire!

That said.  I promised my Daddy I would define what I feel a viable relationship is.  He read my blog and became concerned – I wrote about that too! Come along – Let us love my darlings…

What is a Human Being?

A Human Being is a complete miniature set of all elements existing in the Universe, an individual unit of sustainable life.  Human Beings are ONE with all things on Earth.  All Human Beings consist of both Yin and Yang Energy.  (For those of ya’ll who may not know, Yin is feminine energy and Yang is masculine energy – like the sun and moon folks!)

Human beings have power. Human beings have the power to transcend moods, ideas, thoughts, tradition or anything else.  Human Beings have choice.  Essentially Human Beings can create anything they desire both individually and collectively… Especially when they employ personal and collective power.

What is A Man? [Besides a fine specimen of luscious sexiness - OK OK I will stop]

A Man is the possibility of Yang Centerdness. Male bodies include Yin and Yang energy (male and female energy) but can house more YANG than YIN when required.  Balanced Yang energy, is always protective, managerial, selfless, giving, electric, courageous, valiant, virile, strong, diplomatic, competitive and wise.  Men must use physical action (primarily) to create things in the world.

A man represents the elements FIRE and AIR.  Men are able to heat their bodies without harming that sperm.  Men are able to dry the body without harming the sperm.  By this I simply mean that a man holds less water than a woman.  He does not have breasts (well most) and hips.  He will never need to carry a baby housed in water.  He can participate in long, protracted work, acts of war, valiant acts of bravery, stressful situations, and so forth without harming his system as much as Yin would be harmed by this form of activity.  This is a physiological fact – google it!

What is a Woman? [Besides a gorgeous Goddess of LOVE - Beautiful in every way, shape and form]

Women are Yin.  Women represent the elements Water and Earth.  Women are like the Earth in that they bear fruit when planted with seed.  Women carry water in their hips and breast.  Women can house more Yin than men in their bodies when needed.  A Balanced Yin woman can dream, vision, nurture, attract, magnetize, feel, submit, relax, house, create, soothe, submit, and thus receive.

Women are able to have a cool body in order to bear children (you notice all these hot mamas are having a bit of trouble conceiving and carrying babies – I lost a baby or two to the heat).  Women are able to literally attract to them all they desire without much physical action at all – this is accomplished when they use the awesome power of the vision.  Women in a balanced Yin situation are able to create anything simply based on thinking it into existence (primarily).  Women who overheat lose the power to manifest anything easily and therefore must struggle to make their lives complete.

What is the Purpose of Relationship Between One Man One Woman?

Men and women are meant to come together to form the second complete unit – a duality or couple.  In and of themselves men and women form their own individual dualities.  But when two emerge, they form one entity, one unit – as well they keep the individual unit in tact.  This new unit becomes the basic unit needed to produce or create children.  The purpose of this unit, however, is not simply to create children, it is also to grow the original complete unit beyond itself…SOLE PURPOSE.

Here is what I mean.  When a man and a woman come together to make one unit, their original singularly complete selves are put to the test.  They are literally forced to CHANGE in order to THRIVE together.  This is the quintessential role of the Unit.  CHANGE is the motor for individual evolution.  Without being forced to change or adapt to new settings, human beings would never evolve.  So the purpose of the relationship between man and woman is vastly accelerated evolution.  Nothing more and nothing less.

For those of you who are romantics at heart, there are benefits to the union of man and woman.  Some of those are as follows:  romantic love, sexual pleasure, companionship, sharing, healing, friendship, partnership, fun, bliss, enlightenment, beauty…

These are BENEFITS not SOLE PURPOSE…keep that in mind as you read on!

How Does A Good Relationship Evolve – What Are It’s Parts?

Evolution being the purpose of the primary relationship between two human beings, one of Yin dominance and one of Yang dominance, is essential to understand.  Before we can look at what makes a relationship work, we have to know what the relationship is working to produce – two awesome NEW human beings!  Two evolved human beings who can now more easily accomplish their individual and collective destinies.  This is not to say that a single person cannot accomplish his or her destiny.  Single people will still be forced to relate to other, thus they too will always be forced to grow in various ways.   By the way, I believe in your destiny…

[Youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Evu2JMLwNak]

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Five Rules For Modern Relationship Success – Written By Your Friendly JujuMama – Kenya Kay Stevens

#1 The Golden Rule: Your partner will always challenge you to grow so just GROW! This is a good thing.  You will always attract someone who is your three way mirror.  He or she is reflecting you in three ways:

1. They reflect your personality right back at ya! They have bad traits that you see you may share…
2. They reflect your patterns right back at ya! They show you what you have expected all this time…based on your past
3. They reflect your potential right up to ya! They have good traits that you want to aquire.

So in these three ways, they will always show you who and what you are.  This is a good thing.  So even as your mate will probably not get in your face and say – hay I am challenging you to grow – he or she will do silly stuff that pisses you off or wonderful stuff that you want to adapt; and thus show you yourself so that you can grow.  Some choose to see this and others do not.  Those who choose to see this are able to milk all the luscious experiences of being in a relationship and use the energy of the constant transformation to power their individual objectives as well as group objectives.

#2 The Rule of Man - Women will always Challenge you to Give – Guys, guys, guys.  Did you hear me say earlier that Yang energy is selfless, giving and diplomatic.  He is a manger and a leader.  He is strong and wise.  So that said, your woman is with you to help you develop these Yang traits so that they will be of use to the greater community.  Everything she does in the relationship is a challenge for you to test and bring on line those manhood skills.  You are becoming a high power CEO!

• Find out what the problem is
• Manage the problem
• Make ground rules
• Enforce the Rules
• Secure some stuff for the lady!  Man!
• MEN ARE STABILIZERS

When she is nagging and emoting as women do, you will be challenged to give more!  You will not want to give more.  You will want to run away and hide.  You hate that she is so unlike you.  And this is good, because what you hate will make you stronger when you master it.  After all, she is only reflecting your YIN.  Your job in the relationship is to master the situation and use your electric energy, your heat, your air to calm her the F down!  LOL!  When she emotes, you must become more present.  This is not to say that you become her slave, NO WAY, you simply realize the actual size of your humongous penis (figurative of course) when you are able to get her balanced and manage that household.  Don’t you want to know just how powerful your penis is?  Well, get a woman and harmonize that relationship, manage that joint and you will know for sure!

(This has nothing to do with, yet everything to do with sex.  Tantric Sex calms and energizes women – video coming soon)

#3 The Rule of Woman - Your Man will always challenge you to receive. Ladies, your partner will always challenge you to refine your Yin energy.  This is for the sake of general evolution of human kind and for the greater purpose of you serving your community, feeding us – your sisters, your children – with that sweet Yin energy.  Your man is challenging you on a daily basis to bring it out.  When his fire is too hot, he is angry or like air – SILENT (damn I hate silent) – you simply add the moisture to cool that big old flame, that brush fire!  How do you do that?  Well, it is not with talking, I assure you it will go in one of his ears and right out the other.  You cannot talk to fire and air, usually we run from a brush fire and pray for the best…

• Get into the nurturing mood
• Rub the man’s tummy
• Smile and shake your sweet self for him
• Show him you support and trust him
• Honor the man, Respect the Man!  Jeez
• WOMEN ARE HARMONIZERS

But a woman is so powerful, and the universe wants us to see our power, so it provided men.  This can be difficult sometimes, to harmonize with him when he is being arrogant.  But once we learn to use the power of our visions, of our sweetness, learning to receive his protection, soothe his moods, learning to say ‘Yes Honey’ and cool that fire out with the waters of life, then we are truly made better human beings, which is the purpose of the relationship.

#4 – The Resources Rule – Men and women need resources to survive on planet Earth. Today that primary resource is money – GOOD!  Maybe yesterday it was Yams, or Coconuts, or Shells, maybe these were exchanged through barter.  Whatever it is that you need to survive, this relationship is the perfect place to create it together.  Now that you have a Creative Unit – Man and Woman – a vehicle to actually create life (more than kids, THINGS, PEOPLE, PLACES, MONEY, all of these things can be created in the womb just like a baby – Tantra Video Coming Soon) now you can use it!

The challenge? It takes a giving man and a receptive woman to make this unit work.  Imagine the woman is a huge generator – a money magnet machine, imagine the man is the electricity that powers the money magnet machine.  Those two things would have to be flowing properly to work.  If there is resistance in the woman to serving her role as Magnet or resistance in the man to being Electricity, then the damned creative machine will not work.  So in this way, by making us have needs for things, the Universe is always forcing us to evolve.  And to make things appear easily, women and men in primary union must work together.

A good relationship is prosperous. (Whatever prosperity looks like to you and your partner)There are few financial struggles because the unit is in tact and kicking out massive manifestations on a regular basis.  Have you ever seen a couple who fights all of the time and also never has any money.  I am talking about even the couples who are running a business or working good jobs, they still have very little money…

This is simply due to the fact that the unit is not in tack, that working together, coming together of the man and woman in an intentional and intimate way is not really happening.  Usually the woman is out of her Yin role and trying to dominate the man, thus his electricity or fire is low, or the man is dominant and trying to overpower the woman and so her Yin is UP, way too high, she is hot with trying to fight back.  We call this – fear of intimacy…it is a blockage to wealth.

Love and Wealth, the two go hand in hand.

#5 The Rule of Family & Support – Sound Family is created through the union. The Universe did a special trick with this one.  The Universe often grants couples, even non-harmonious couples with children.  I think maybe because kids will force them to grow.  Either way, once children come into a unit, there is responsibility to be had.  Each partner is being forced to play the proper role, this is reflected through the children. When they are calm, happy, complete and settled, you know the basic unit (Mom and Dad) are flowing…

Couples who are living the path of relationships, and working on their stuff have sane children.  Our children always reflect us.  So those children who are a bit ‘out there’ are indicators that we still have luscious work to do on the relationship.  And this can vary  (My children have had points of stability and sanity and then they waiver – a sign pointing to the health of our union).

Children are responding to the relationship, so they are also then reflecting the relationship.

Having an organized, functioning and stable family unit where all the needs are taken care of and children are sane is mark of a good relationship between that man and that woman.  (My Dad used Obama’s girls as an example – they seem calm, yes?)

This area also includes in-laws.  How is your relationship with your extended family and that of your mate?  How do your two families get along?  These are reflections of your relationship synergy and how that is flowing…

Support | Relationships between man and woman will always push that man and woman to deal with others in the larger community or larger power (Source).  Usually this occurs around resources.  But this can also occur when a woman or man need help from others or a Higher Power to make the primary unit work.  Smart Men and women work with others to gain resources for the family – to stabilize the family emotionally and physically.  So wow, this is good, men and women who reject the support of others or deny the need for support from higher powers within (whatever you call them) they find themselves isolated and not living up to the full potential of the relationship.

The relationship itself is supposed to support outside friendships, mentorships, apprenticeships, connection to Source, and other various ways relationships.  Without this important ingredient, primary relationships between one man and one woman becomes a serious quandary.

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So that is my take Daddy – I define a good relationship, a stable relationship, with these five attributes:

• The Golden Rule – we all know the MAIN purpose is growth – we know the difference between benefits and purpose
• The Man Rule – The male knows he is learning manhood – YANG Balance
• The Woman Rule – The woman knows she is learning womanhood – YIN Balance
• The Resource Rule – The relationship has everything it needs – resource wise – to be viable
• The Family & Support Rule – Sound Family is essential – Source Energy and Larger Community are involved in supporting the relationship

I think I will create a Five Rules Quiz so that couples can test their standing in current relationships – coming soon!

Whew – That felt good!  Thanks for being my mirror Daddy, you make me grow beyond myself.

IMPORTANT: So if these five systems are not in place in your relationship, you should think twice before expanding beyond what you already have (monogamy).  These basic five areas must be well covered and in good working order.  When they are, there can be bliss in the knowing that you are accomplishing the purpose of your union.  Even if you are simply mindful of these five factors, you are doing GREAT – no worries.

I mean, consider the fact that some people base a relationship around these old Western Ideals:

• Is he or she making me happy
• Is the sex good enough
• Do I like the way the person looks
• Does the person make enough money to support me?
• Does the person make me feel good and never make me do what I do not want to do
• Is the person a good catch, is this someone I can take home ot mom or dad?

Folly, sheer folly.  You see in a Purpose Focused Relationship (PFR), the goal is growth in all five categories.  Never mind that the person is getting on your nerves, you know that he or she is doing that for a specific reason, that is, for you to grow beyond something in YOU!  When you do grow, that bad behavior on his or her part will vanish just as quickly as it began…

SO if all five of these rules are present and accounted for, we might consider expansion.  Having a progressive (open) relationship is a choice, not a must.  Both partners would have to agree, but if the five areas are in place and one partner wants it but not the other, then my goodness, we are back to growth.  Who needs to grow and how?  It is always BOTH.  Both partners are being challenged to grow when one or the other desires MORE…

What is the Purpose of Progressive (Open) Relationship Between One Man One Woman and Others?

When I talk about progressive relationships, I mean open relationships, where either the man can have more love interests (polygamy), the woman and the man can have more love interests (polyamory) or both partners can have intimate friends with no sex (revised poly) or both partners can have whomever else they want no questions asked and not necessarily out of LOVE for another per se (swinging)…

Again, I will state as I have stated on post after post…

It does not matter which form of progression you choose, it is not mandatory to progress to this level at all, but it needs to be an option for those who desire it without the stigma that a rigid society places on people, people who have not even been trained in the five ways of relationships mentioned above.  I broach this subject becasue the 66% who cheat need a format to make what they desire a reality without killing families in the meantime, don’t you think?  As Michael Baisden always says, we are grown folks, we need to stop acting like six-year-olds and open to possibilities so that our children can be with family.

OK – so you have created a stable foundation in your union.  Now you want to expand, naturally.  Good!  This is not as easy as it looks.  As you expand your relationship, you will find that the basic five areas that you have worked so hard to put into place become areas of concern once again.  You will have to rework the Female Rule, the Male Rule.  Your man will start acting a little funny as he readjusts to the format you’ve both decided on together.  Your woman will begin to go batty again with emotions.  Men and women will have to up the anty on those original Yin and Yang roles.  There is more to manage, more to stabilize and more to harmonize.

Essentially when you add people to your unit, the family is growing.  Thus, you will have to now deal with each of those new individuals using the five rules just as you did with your primary partner.  Obviously, your bond and loyalty is going to your primary partner, she or he must be assured that you will always give reverence to that primary relationship first and foremost.

Once this is established, which is should be if the five rules are in place, you can begin to take on a bit of rapid development.  That strong foundation will always be there when you falter, which you will.  Just the growth tests of expansion.

(This is what we have always fallen back upon as my husband and I expand…As my husband and I expand after 13 years of monogamy, we are finding that we both have to be more of what we have already cultivated.   I have to be more YIN to deal with the situation appropriately and he has to become even MORE YANG.  This is great because again, the purpose of the original relationship and the new relationships is of course to grow us.)

So as you work out the components of your progressive relationship, the requirements stiffen and things become intense.  You are now in the pressure cooker of Universal affairs (no pun intended).  But the outcome can be all together pleasing especially when you recall the purpose of it all – sorry, it ain’t happiness, it is growth.

That is not to say we should not choose happiness even as the challenges of growth rear their heads, we should know that the purpose of the union is not so that you can always feel happy – but that you can always be growing out of your comfort zone to find happiness even there…beyond your old self.   Even there my friends, where you have never found it before -

Become an AVATAR!!!

Daddy, I hope this helps.  I think it should.  It has helped me tremendously!  Thank you so much for pushing me outside my comfort zone enough to force me to grow – to clarify my original and sustained vision.  I see the bounty and the beauty in your words – you support my growth all of the time.  I find happiness when I find the lessons our interactions.  Clarity is so sexy!

Ciao ya’ll – and feel free to comment!

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