Jujumama

So I had a client who asked me about the frequent fights she and her lover get into.  I tried to share a way to handle this, but she got annoyed – happens in growth.  We spoke a while longer and this download came directly from the stars!  Yes, believe it or not!

Men are Stabilizers, Women are harmonizers.

Look at it this way.  Women embody moisture, much more water than men.  Women carry that water in bellies, breasts and hips.  Women have more water on the brain!  Women also have strong Earth components.  For instance, women can be planted with a seed (physical and mental) and bring forth birth of that seed as life – like the Earth.  The seed is fed with water – the water that accumulates in the womb or the psychic womb.

Men embody fire.  Their testicles (house of the seed) is outside their bodies, thus they are able to sustain more fire without harming future generations.  They house fire in muscle mass.  Have you ever heard the phrase ‘burn the fat’.  What mechanism in the body burns the fat?  Why of course, it is muscle.  In the muscle there are literal, fire factories burning fuel (food, fat) just like a factory burning garbage.  Men have a greater capacity for muscle mass.  Men also embody the element air.  Men are dry, much drier than women.  Even a large man will house on average less moisture than a small women!  He is mostly muscle mass while she has loads of water on those breast and hips.

SO what does this have to do with an argument?

When you and your mate are in a tiff, there is always an easy way to resolve the matter, but it takes practice.  It goes into the idea of women and men being stabilizers and harmonizers, respectively.

When a man becomes angry he does one of two things. A.  He get hot!  He heats up, yell, screams, maybe even gets physical knocking holes in walls and such.  He is FIRE. Or  B.  He retreats into the cave.  He disappears like air.  He becomes completely invisible – as invisible as the wind.  But we can still feel him blowing like a hurricane out dis piece!  LOL!  He simply retreats into thin air!  You think to yourself, this man has an attitude, and it may appear so, but what he is really doing is using one of his strong suites negatively to burn YOU or disappear from YOU!

When a woman becomes angry she does one of two things. A.  She get wet.  She cries and cries her eyes out and becomes pitifully sad, sullen ,depressed and upset.  She allows the liquid in her being to spill out onto everything.  Everyone in her vicinity feels the cool moisture of her sadness.  or B.  She become Earth, immovable.  She is right about it.  PERIOD.  She cannot be swayed to see things another way without a heavy pitchfork.  She cannot me moved from her position at all – she is Earth and stubborn and stuck and rigid and immovable.  “Well, he is just not seeing things my way so it’s the highway.

Just a little note: in today’s world, let’s face it.  Women have learned to use the art of fire bending LOL!  When upset, women nowadays (like me, especially in my boot wearing days) resort to fire.  We raise that fake male fire up and let it come rolling out like a dragon, right?  And men have taken on some Earth qualities, that rigid immovable stuff where stubbornness enters the picture with vengeance and deletes natural fiery diplomacy and discipline.

So how do we resolve arguments when any of the above is the case?

Well, my dears.  Let’s inject some real wisdom.  Here at JujuMama | Manifest Sexy our goal is to have women be YIN and men be YANG (at least in relationships together).  So first and foremost, we may want to work to stay in our most suitable qualities.  If a woman is using fire to ‘resolve’ arguments, this is not going to work for very long.  The one thing we want as women is harmony.  But it’s difficult to achieve the harmony we crave when we are using fire to fight fire.  Bad situation.  Looks like a war zone, right?  (By the way, you will never really defeat him with his own element)

Same with the guys, if the men are resorting to Earth behaviors when they are upset, standing their ground by rigidly being unshakable in their demeanor, there is going to be an issue.  We can fight Earth with Earth.  Two butting heads of unreceptive and stubbornness.  Two immovable forces at battle.  No winners, just passive aggressive standstill.  (Men, you will never outlast a woman in her strong suit element)

If this is what is happening in your relationship, you may want to take a second look at how you are responding to your beau.  If you are going to work out an issue with your mate, stay in your natal role…If you do, then there is a way to work any argument out peacefully.

Women as Harmonizer:

Because a woman is water and Earth, she can easily cool a man’s fire with the very same water she carries naturally.  Once she cultivates her water by taking loads of sweet baths (instructions can be found in Change Your Man, the book), drinking more water (at least 80 ounces per day) and working to meditate often, visualize a harmonious household often, she can begin to use her water to put out his fire!  Sure!  When he is burning with rage over this and that thing, maybe over nothing, leave the fire out and come to him with water.  Contain his lovely fire with water.

What does this mean?  Oh, it is so simple, once you practice a bit.  1.  Do not take his fire personally. His fire is what allows him to achieve a hard penis when you want it, so when it comes out at you all wrong – outside the bedroom from the wrong orifice -  view it as HOT energy of the same erect penis that you love!  (Sorry to be so graphic, but you need to get this…LOL!)  So take nothing he is saying or doing to heart!  Just think to yourself, ok, here is his fire, once again.  What should I do about it?  I need to add water, quench his fire (yes, just as you get moist when the fire comes out the RIGHT orifice…)

2.  Get Moist! So he comes in nasty and enraged, be the water!  Allow him to feel your sweet essence flow.  He comes in and says “What the hell are you doing,  the house is a mess and I want some food”.  Instead of saying “Man, make your own damn food and hire a maid!” (All of which may be true and needed as you may work out of the home as well) Try to relax.  Bring up the water and say something wet like “Oh honey, I am sorry, did you have a long day?”.  Or “I did not cook tonight, I was waiting on you so that we could go have a special dinner then I am going to receive some of that good love you offer, I can’t wait to feel you close to me”.

Your man will be stunned!  His fire, drenched.  He will not really know what to do next, but without the original fire, he will need to find another way of dealing with you.  You DO have this power!

And in terms of Earth.  Have you ever heard the saying “stop, drop and roll?”.  Sure you have.  When on fire we have all been instructed since elementary school to stop, drop and roll.  So take the hint DIVAS!  Stop – do not take his heat or air personally.  Drop – get under his energy, do not try to go above it by starting a shouting match.  Roll - Out if he is not ready to talk about it and goes into the cave. Use harmonizing words, actions and deeds.  Be the Earth that touches him gently – be the warm sand on a lovely beach.  TOUCH HIM!  Maybe he just needs a hug.  If he pushes you away, don’t fret.  Just be silent, sweet and meditative like the Earth and figure out how to apply your sweet waters.  MUD will definitely put the fire out!

Whatever is happening with that man, even if he has allowed the fires to rage for a while and has disappeared like air, be the water, be the Earth.  The Earth is not in a hurry to resolve things.  The Earth knows that air can be altogether good, in fact, air spreads seeds, thereby making things on Earth grow, eventually.  The Earth is not jumping up and shouting HAY WIND, HURRY UP BRING ME SOME SEEDS!  No way.  The Earth is patient, flowing with the seasons.  So when he is in the cave, allow it.  Sometimes, he simply needs to air out and let his own fire burn out.  Try to greet him when he returns from the cave with cool harmony, sweet waters and solid, patient Earth.

Now men, you are not off the hook here.  LOL!

Men As Stabilizers

Men are stabilizers because fire and air Stabilize Water and Earth. In fact, fire and air are what the farmers use to heal the Earth after she has sprouted so many seeds.  Farmers burn the fields thus stabilizing the Earth.  Air helps those flames to move about the entire field where the Earth is tired.  Women get tired.  Women need a break.  Women are not a quick burn like fire, so when we are overworked, we need a winter rest, just like Mama Earth!  SO stabilize us please! Raise your useful fire and air.  Give us your goodness, being more managerial, giving us a plan for taking it easy.  When you do, Earths will stabilize and feel caressed by sweet carbon (that is the element the Earth is using when farmer burn the field, that sweet and stabilizing carbon from the wind and fire).

In the case of a flood, let’s say your woman is going overboard with tears and so forth.  What does Serve Pro use to dry a flood in your home when your kids overflowed the toilet?  Of course, they place extra duty fans and heaters on that flood.  So she is crying, sad, forlorn, upset – blow her dry!  Use that air and fire to clean up this mess.  Stand strong, be supportive.  Be bold in your attempt to stabilize the situation.  We need your sexy stability.  Often men do not do this because they feel it will not work, that the women will reject his attempt to lead. (And for a fiery woman it may not…for a while)  But believe me, we want it to work, we just don’t know if you are sincere and we are learning to trust you.  Come wit it men!  If we are crying because we do not have enough clothing in our wardrobe and our shoes hurt, we need new ones, and we don’t have the money and you just put us on a budget, it’s all good.  Stabilize the situation.  Give us the plan and help us know that you got dis!  Tell us the plan and let us know you did it because you love us and want to see us happy in the long run.  Action:  Just kiss us afterward!  LOL!

If you raise up too hot you will evaporate all of her moisture and she will greet you with more and more FIRE!  You cannot yell at a crying woman.  But if you raise the heat just right, to feel warm and nice like the sun, just warm enough to get the flood under control, we will receive it and appreciate it.  We will follow your lead.  I promise!

So remember this.  Men are Stabilizers, women are harmonizers.  Next time there is a disagreement look at it this way.

• If the woman has the issue, men stabilize her with your warm heat and cool, airy, breeze
• If the man has the issue, women harmonize this with your cool waters and patient Earth

It is really quite simple if you think of the imagery.  The practice will take a moment, but it is just that, a practice.  So go to work folks!  Leave your comments.  Has this worked for you?  Here is a really cool video my husband and I made about a disgruntled partner – the women – who wants more intimate time.  She has resorted to a negative Earth behavior.  She is stuck, like Earth, on being right!  Check it out!

Love You Human Beings!

Written By: Kenya K Stevens | JujuMama

Best Seeling Author, Change Your Man

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