Jujumama

I have been asked by over 50 women to do this ~ Get into the bed with Steve Harvey.  So I did it!  I have had a wonderful time ~ thank you Stevie Baby!  Steve is quite a lover!  I am excited to report that after reading his book, I have decided to go through it chapter by chapter here on the blog.

I LOVE his latest piece on relationships - Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man. I feel it is perfect for women who need to understand what a man quintessentially IS.  But of course, like any lover, Steve and I do not agree on everything.  What is most important, however, is that we agree on the basics.

Let us begin with Chapters 1&2.

“A man’s love falls only into three categories.  I call them ‘The Three P’s of Love – Profess, Provide, and Protect.’  A man many not go shopping with you to buy the new dress for your office party , a but a real man will escort you to the party and hold your hand, and proudly introduce you all around the party as his lady (Profess); he may not cuddle you and sit by the bed holding your hand while you’re sick, but a real man who loves you will make sure the prescription is filled, heat up a can of soup, and make sure everybody is in position until you are better (provide); and he many not willingly change diapers, wash the dishes, or rub your feet after a hot bath, but a real man who loves you sure will walk through a mountain and on water before he’d let someone bring any hurt or harm to you (Protect).  This you can believe”

~Steve Harvey

Beautifully written Stevie Baby. So, in summary, chapters one and two are about the difference between men and women.  The ways that men love and the ways that women love are just completely different.  We are a different species.  Men are fire and air, women are water and Earth. This, we must fully understand as we look into our relationships to find purpose.  Steve and I agree here.

It is a joyful union of souls!

Read my review of Chapters One and Two!

In Protocols for the modern relationship I speak on Yin and Yang.  Men bringing the Yang means women can more freely bring the Yin and vice versa.  But what happens when a man is not in his position as Yang or dominant in the relationship?  Many women attract very Yin (passive) men due to our firey behaviors.  Does this mean firey women should scrap those Yin dudes?  Let us get right to the essence of what a Yang Man is…

Steve says, in Chapter One, that “there are three accomplishments every man must achieve before he feels like he is truly fulfilling his destiny as a man.  He must know #1who he is (obtain a title), #2what he does (how he gets his title), and #3how much he makes (he must be rewarded for his effort financially).

So essentially Steve has contextualized manhood in terms of modern social structures.  Not a bad idea!  Very practical.  Think about these three things for a moment.  You would probably agree with Steve.  I agree with his basic premise, however, I would add the matching, overarching, esoteric principles that were here before money was invented (I love money – a stellar energy).  I have to add dat juicy, spiritual, context!  Ya’ll know me!  Steve notes that, without these three things in tact, men are not ready for a relationship with a woman!  So this is HUGE!

I could not agree more that a man must have these three attributes in place in order to love a woman.  I would add dimension.

#1 Who He Is – I believe that men must know who they are on a core level.  This goes beyond career.  A Man must know who he is.  He is essentially, and at his core, Peace itself.  He is able to transcend any emotion.  He is able to choose peace when needed.  He is able to flow back to center at will.  Once a man knows this about himself, he is a man!  This goes WAY beyond career.

There was a time, not long ago, when men were taken to the forest to learn these lessons with the onset of Puberty.  (BTW, this is where our modern idea of Boy Scouting comes from).  Men were challenged with fear during initiation.  They had to see that they could overcome any obstacle from a state of peace.  They were taught proper breathing, diet, and thoughts to elicit this peace from within.  From this place of peace, ANY man can achieve ANY material or spiritual objective.

Also, a man must know his sacred relationship to women.  He knows that he is a healer of women (ask any man, he will tell you he knows).  His healing love is transferred during the act of loving a woman.  He can influence her to receive him and enact upon her as the sun enacts upon the plants here on the planet Earth.  Understanding his power to effect women with his energy and HOW to effect women with his energy makes him a man.  A real man can TAME a stressed out DIVA and settle her energy!  Yummy!

What I am saying is that Who He Is is not solely tied to his position or station in life (career).  Who He Is is a metaphysical concept.  No problem, right Steve?  Yes, my king.

#2 What He Does - now this one is tricky.  A man’s career may not define him.  A man may not be in the career that he loves, but that does not mean he does not know what he does.  A real man (which is all the men I know and you too!) understands that what he does is an offshoot of who he is, not vice versa.  What a man does does not “give him a title”  who he is, gives him a title.  It looks like this:

I am Yang energy walking the face of the planet.  I am peace itself, therefore what I do is… Co-Create what I intend to manifest.  Always and in ALL WAYS!  I am the SUN!

A man who has actualized his YANG force does what is simple.  He lives in a state of stable peace and action oriented determination, moving from one challenge to the next with full cognition that he can effect change at any given moment.  In relation to women, what he does is enact his healing sun upon her cool, YIN Earth to co-create with her; to produce ANY desired end result.

That is what a man does.  From this level of atunement, any man can create anything in harmonious partnership with women.

Does that make sense?

What I am saying is that Who He Is can not be solely defined by his career.  Who He Is is defined by his state of consciousness.  But Steve and I, we jive on that.  We are lovers in the deepest sense of the word – me and Steve!  He couldn’t write all of that because he is writing for the masses, but we have discussed these deep concepts in our pillow talk.  LOL!

#3  How much He Makes | [Acknowledgment For What He Does] – More powerful than the drive for food, is the drive for acknowledgment.  This goes for men and women.  Men, in particular, have a powerful drive for success.  They want to be perceived by the world as successful in what they do.  This can be obtained through a career and/or outside of a career.  This can be obtained through a relationship with a YIN woman.  When women acknowledge men, men feel successful.  With this feeling and energy of success, he can create more success.  It begins with his relationship to MOM and then his LOVERS.

So I think it is not that a man has to be good at “What He Does” – in terms of his career – before he can settle down with a woman.  I think it might be holistic to know that to properly acknowledge our men from a YIN position, to boost our men into success by allowing them to be a success at home, will supply him with the energy to be a success in the world.  Now some say – I am not going to boost that man’s ego!  He needs to be more secure.  I say – You can choose not to acknowledge that nurturing others in the role of women, but when your man is not a success – DO NOT COMPLAIN!

Men show love through action – so when we acknowledge his actions as pleasing, he will feel successful and this energy of greatness will cast him into more and more success.  Men and women together can create success!

Overall – I believe chapter one is well done, Steve! I have added a few esoteric thoughts here.  I just want women to remember that everything she is looking for is not based on materialism.  I LOVE money too!  But we can build money into our lives with a man.  No problem mon!  Women can attract a man with these underlying attributes and work with him to manifest ANY life situation.  I did it, and so have many others.  If I were to have kicked my man to the curb because he had not defined his career, I would not be enjoying his six figured income right now.  We worked on that together.

It is similar to what Steve said in the first chapter, he told a story about a time when he was flat broke.  But it was a woman who suggested he do comedy.  She believed in him.  Her belief alone was enough to get him motivated to do his first gigs.

In like manner, when my husband was out of a job back in my 20’s I could have said, oh, let me leave him, he has no title, no job, and no income.  He is not ready to be my partner. But I did not, why?  Well, he had the underlying structure needed to produce greatness!  He knew #1 Who He Is - A God walking the planet – peaceful in the face of any adversity – #2 – What He Does – he enacts his powerful Male or Yang energy onto life and indeed onto me, planting me with the seeds he wants to manifest and #3 – How Much he Makes – He has always realized that he has infinite potential to make money and more than money.  He can make heaven on Earth through our union when he utilizes his powerful Yang force in love and truth.

Don’t worry.  Most men think this way at the core level.  It doesn’t take massive training!  Men innately believe in their power.

So maybe your current man is not placed in the career he loves, or maybe he does not have a title or the income he desires, but if that core wisdom is in place, you can work with him.  I did not say ‘help’ him.  Working with a man looks like being supportive of him verbally, spiritually, and mentally.  Believing in his dreams and allowing his dreams to take root in your figurative womb.

You attracted this man to you, so he is a reflection. No need to kick him out because he has not “arrived”; you can work with that lovely human being as you both grow beyond your limitations.  We only attract who and what we are.  Steve wants all women to expect more, and with this, I agree.  But that takes a shift in consciousness.  We can’t toss out our men looking for one with more success without first finding within us the point of attraction that landed us our current relationship.  Once we find the similarities,  we work from that point in tolerance and integrity, to move beyond old expectations.  When we do that, the men we are with will automatically follow suit, or if they cannot, they will dissipate into the vapor from which they came and be immediately replaced by that which matches our energetic make up.

These esoteric concepts may be a bit much for Steve to introduce in a book crafted for Western Minds.  But he knew I’d come along to love him in this way. LOL!  You should see the two of us together – heaven, I tell you, pure heaven.

So chapter two made me laugh. Steve is so funny.  You guys are gonna love this.  He goes on to provide the three P’s of Love.  He is describing how a man loves differently than a woman.  I could not agree more.  Men want to Profess (love for his woman), Protect (his family and woman) and Provide (for his family and woman).  Wow!  I LOVE that!  However, what if I am of the mindset that men simply cannot and will never do this?  What if I am an independent woman (let us say my father was a deadbeat and I just got the notion, early on, that men ain’t shit? Mom eve co-signed it!).  How, then, would I attract a man who can provide the three P’s of love?

I suspect many women who read Steve Harvey’s book will do one of two things.  One – they may read the chapter on the three P’s and say – hay – I want a man who will do that.  There are men who will do that?  I want one!  And immediately they will shift their expectations of men, because Steve said so.  Steve will make them believers in this form of chivalry, and Yang Powered love.  Two – some women may say, I never attract that.  I don’t even have it now!  My man is a deadbeat.  I am going to get rid of him.  He is the problem.  I am now going to set out to find this type of man (that I do not even believe exists! – Quandary!)

This second response concerns me.  Why?  Because we only attract what we expect.  We only attract what the brain and conceive and believe.  So getting rid of him is not going to remove the quandary of our point of attraction.  Once that non-chivalrous, deadbeat is gone, we will attract another.  Especially if we read the chapter in the wrong way.  Sure, all women deserve this type of man, but all women are not manifesting these three P’s from their man (who, by the way is fully capable of giving this, just not actualizing that potential just yet).  Steve doesn’t give us the secret, Law of Attraction, trick to making this so in our relationships.  And that is OK too! That is why he has me.  I love you Stevie!

I am here to tell you that if you want your man to Provide, Profess and Protect you, you have to believe that this is what a man IS – and indeed what men are.  You have to go back to childhood, release the men who hurt you, go back to teen life, release the men who impressed you the wrong way, go back and get the lesson – the moral to your story – and shift the past to change the future.  You have to look at your past from a different vantage point in order to conjure a new point of attraction.  In this way, you can attract whatever you want from your current man, or your future man!

Yes You Can!

Steve suggests that if a man is not doing these things, he just does not love you.  I believe differently.  If a man is not doing these things, this is, unfortunately, not what you EXPECT in a man!  You never have had the expectation that a man could or would do these things and so your man will not and cannot, your future man will not and cannot.  This will change when you shift your beliefs about men shift your point of attraction.

Recently I posted on my Facebook page “Single woman asked me if I know any real men – I reply that all the men I know are real“.  This is my belief.  And so, as you saw demonstrated in my Yes Yes Yes ritual, all the men I meet are vibrating here.  Thus, I have no worries.  This takes times and concerted thought effort.  You can do this.  My book, and Steve’s if read properly – can help.  I discuss the power of YIN.  How to shift your expectations for better points of attraction.  I have an entire chapter on how our men are our mirrors – which gives us the power to change the reflections by changing ourselves.

Steve has read my book, Change Your Man.  In fact, I am slated to be on his show very soon!  We will not debate, we will co-create!  Do join me next time for part two of this book review series and do read – Act life a Lady, Think Like a Man by my lover – Steve Harvey.

Bliss and Light

Written By Kenya K Stevens AKA Jujumama xoxoxox

See what a woman Steve has in me!  LOL!

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