Jujumama

So I have loads of people asking me this question.  I mean the emails are off the hook!  Why don’t you lovely people leave comments instead of these private emails?  That’s the first way I know you may not be ready.  Ready for what, you say?  Ready for Universal Love, ready for the New Paradigm relationship, ready for expansion, luscious, sweet, delicious expansion!

OK – so you know by now if you have spent any time on this blog, that my husband and I have an open relationship.  Now you also know that I fought it for a long time until I surrendered to myself, my truest self, my most lovely, divine, feminine self!  And now?  Well, now I am enjoying the bliss of love at new levels.  I need to share some stories, maybe I will.  Have been to busy to give the juicy details of my love life.  WOW!  That’s all I can really say…

But the emails I get are people asking me how do they know if their relationship is ready for the open thing.  I caution them, most relationships are not ready.  Here is a little ole checklist of attributes that I would say serve as prerequisites for this type of love… expanded and blissful love.  Now mind you, some relationships will never be ready and that too is OK.  This is not for everyone, but what is?  LOL!

OK – so here is the list.  Whether you are in a marriage or a committed relationship or single, the list still applies…

You know that you are ready for an open relationship if and only if:

1.  You have a spiritual practice that brings you peace in the face of any adversity. IE you view life as a series of challenges, luscious challenges that will grow you.  You are well aware that life is a journey and that people change and that your mate as well as yourself will always change.  Mostly, you are not looking for a static existence, a stasis of sorts that some might consider stagnation.

2.  You are fully cognizant that you create your life. The blame game is dead.  You are the author and star in your own show.  No one is doing anything to you.  You are not a victim in your life.  You are the victor!

3.  You are sexually progressive and guilt-free. In other words, you are not caught up in the six year old mentality of sex in America.  You are fully aware that sex is sacred.  You know that sensual energy is nothing to play with.  Lust is not something that you follow, rather, you realize that your sensual energy toward another person is a calling for deep healing.  You follow your impulse if and only if you have used your intuition to determine the purpose of the union.

4.  You are not concerned with what others may think of you. The open relationship is a lifestyle that is not the norm in the good ole USA.  You will face criticism from others if you are critical of yourself (you will always and only attract who and what you are – so if others criticize you, you too are in judgement of your own actions ALWAYS).

5.  You are a leader at heart. There are no set rules to this lifestyle  Indeed, you and your mate have to determine your own protocols.  This will require your management skills, diplomacy, and discipline.  You and your mate will not agree on every facet of this at all times.  You will have to compromise and use your spiritual skills to find middle ground.  This is very important.  If you are used to following the pre-cut mold of modern society, you will not be able to create your own rules.

6.  You need to know your gender role. Whether you are male of female, you have to understand Yin and Yang.  You cannot be outside of your role and accomplish this properly.  You will have to work with loads of individuals and there will need to be proper yin and yang in place in those relationships.  If you are masculine as a woman, you will create serious issues in your relationships.  If you are feminine as a man, you will not have what it takes to make ONE relationship work let alone various relationships.

7.  You have to transcend jealousy and replace it with compersion. Compersion is a term that means a desire to see your mate happy, even if it is with another human being.  This is a tough one, for men and women.  Often, we think we can handle it, but when the _____ hits the fan, we are upset and disappointed.  We may become passive aggressive with our primary mates once he or she actually DOES IT with another person.  This will not work for long in an open relationship.

8.  You have to be fully committed to your primary mate. You primary mate or spouse would be fully clear that you are fully committed to him or her, that means that no one else will be able to come along and steal you away from that primary situation.  How does one make this happen?  That is where the Yin and Yang come in.  Men have to be in a masculine role and women must be feminine Without a strong foundation where both individuals are very pleased with the relationship there will be failure in Openness.  An open relationship is not for the purpose of fixing your BAD relationship.   Here is what I mean…

9.  You are willing to examine yourself and exercise personal growth. You will experience a series of emotions in an open relationship.  You have to be willing to develop yourself personally.  You will be tested and pushed to the limit!  YES!  I can tell you for sure!  You wil have to be willing to look at your own responses and examine those emotions based on your own need to change rather than your partner’s need to change.  Once you change, the situation will clear up, even if your partner is “misbehaving” you will be able to shift his or her behavior with your own change…

10.  You have to understand the true purpose of relationships. Relationships are not for the purpose of romance and good feelings, relationships are all about personal growth and development.  If you don’t get that you will be looking for love int he streets or in your primary marriage rather than finding the luscious lessons you are learning from each individual you may work with on an intimate level.  And yes, I said work.  Relationships are work whether you are in a primary relationship or open.  Do not open your relationship if you have not realized that you are with your spouse not to be in love every day of your life, but to continually stretch yourself beyond your own current boundaries.  You will always see flaws in your mate – why?  Because you are looking at your own reflection.  You have to be willing to know this so that all of your relationships have clear purpose.  He or she is not there to make you happy.  He or she is there to show you yourself and make you know yourself even more intimately.

Well, that’s it! This could take years of development.  This is a spiritual journey.  This is not a joke or a fad.  Sex outside of your primary relationship is not simply sex.  It comes along with responsibility.  I hope this helps…

What do you darlings think!?  LOL!

Muah! xoxoxoxox

It’s JujuMama

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