Jujumama

“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.” ~Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.

Monday was my 14th wedding anniversary and I cried all freaking morning… I cried because I felt old – too old to do what I thought I wanted to do when I was younger, which is to grow up to be my mother.  I felt, frankly, like I had a choice at this junction – to be her or to be me…  I felt old because I was being just like her on the morning of my anniversary – somehow – I was thinking like, looking like and being like my mother… just all of a sudden!  OMG.  It was really eerie.  There were, literally, two me’s living in my body that morning and it was like the real me had to choose to let her go forever…

Here mom is in blue and dad is in the man in grey…  These are my sisters with me…as well. My brother didn’t make this shot.

I mena, bless her heart!  I love my mother so much.  She is awesome.  When I was young, I wanted to literally BE her!  But now at 35 – I have my own path and it is so different from my mom’s path, so very different.  And that made me sad on my 14th wedding anniversary.  I am moving on…  Leaving an entire paradigm behind and, inherently, my mother’s persona too.

I started giving up that dream of becoming her in my 20s when I was initiated as a Kemetic Preistess.  I knew I had to be something new.  That hurt.  So birthing the authentic me – celebrating my progressive, open, relationship at the age of 35 made me feel nostalgic.  When I looked in the mirror that morning, thought about my husband, thought of my children (three just like she had)  – I saw my MOTHER!  She was all in my head and I heard her voice… no I wasn’t high on peyote.  It was the very last sub-conscious vestige of my mother living in me…

My mom is awesome.  She rocks!  Don’t get me wrong.. But human beings evolve from generation to generation and from time to time…

I have gone on my own path.  I have become my own woman and I – unlike her, unlike something she would be willing to do in this lifetime – share my man! You know our parents almost flipped when they heard about our progressive lifestyle.  They had raised us – had paid the 20,000 for our wedding – had put us through college on cash, to have a NORMAL life – and now this!  Both our sets of parents are fairly affluent, “sensible” people.  Conservative even…

So while closing my eyes on the sights and sounds of my mother fighting to remain a part of my blueprint – I thought about sharing. Sure – I share my man now.  I share him?  Yes, and I share myself too!  I do?  Yes, sweet heart you have chosen.  And so I was thinking on sharing…  I share all of me with the world now.

Image from an Article on Polyamory from the NY Times

So, while crying my eyes out, I had this epiphany… I thought – damn.  You share him, he shares you – who else shares – is there a sharing blueprint on the planet that I can reference… Inner file cabinet swings open – OMG – as clear as day – here it is:

The Universe made EVERYTHING – yes, literally EVERYTHING ON THE PLANET to be shared!

It hit me like a train!  Everything?  YES, everything!

Check it out.  Look at the Sun and the Moon.  I home school my kids and the other day they were like, can everyone on Earth see the sun and moon just as I can?  YES!  Even the criminals and the murderers can share the sunlight.  Yes they can- we all share the heat and the love and the light/life of the sun and moon.  Crops – are to be shared, animals (if you eat that or ride that or wear that) are to be shared – natural things are made to be shared!  What crop only grows one corn – what tree grows only one fruit?  It was literally made to be shared – a tree – a stalk of corns – what about water – sky – Earth – soil – stars – shade – minerals – waterfalls – grass – everything made of the Universe itself is sharable…

Natives of this land knew that.  And we think they were demolished because of such folly.  But here they are, cutting your grass, cooking your food, cleaning your hotel rooms.  Those sacred people are back – full force!  And you have to learn their Spanish.  LOL!  Hay – nothing is lost.  Energy is neither created or destroyed… Death is an illusion.

But So what!  Damn.  I am still not like my mother.  I wanted to grow up to be she – and I’m too old to do it = I have learned too much, seen too much, progressed, mother.  This Progressive Share Paradigm is my real conscious choice.

God dammit!  How does this help… that the Universe is as sharing as I?  So what?

Well, Kenya, my darling, you are then made in the likeness of the Universe itself – you are saying yes to ONENESS – yes to Sharing – yes to being shared like the green billowing grasses, like the moon, sun, oceans, rivers, waterfalls – you are such a sumptuous waterfall, Kenya.   Sparkle baby!  You are sharing even the story of the journey, my love, and my griot.  You are sharing your sacred self, sweet as honey.  You even share this vision with your mother…  you are evolving her.  You are made in the likeness of Source itself and you show it!  Kudos Kenya.  Dry your tears luv.  You cannot be what she was and is and will be… you will be what you are and who you will be, you are like me, in time all will see… that you and your sharing are as natural as the spring rains – which we all share – which bring the spring flowers – which we all share – we can all smell the scent of moist roses – feel the love of those beautiful roses.  You, Kenya, are the beautiful rose.  Share my Queen – continue to share… share him, share you and share the story… no matter what – be ONE like me and share…

Yes.  I will share…  Reduced to pure divinity by these statements I heard from the inside of me… Smiling from deep within… Sweet Wankantanka thank you – Namaste – With purpose and integrity, I share.

“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.” ~Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.

Here is a dedication to my luscious husband and my precious mother for our anniversary…
I love you…both

Cheers!

JujuMama xoxoxo

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