Jujumama's Love Academy

I have to admit it… I have been receiving words from the Universe about my eggs.  This is for you ladies, sisters, DIVAS and friends.  And for the guys, this should explain a lot!  Friday the heavens opened up and told me about myself.  Yeah!  I had an attitude with my husband.  I mean a HUGE attitude and I wasn’t used to it.  I rarely if ever have this type of break down anymore, and I rarely take it out on him, but Friday I did.  Why did I do it?  What is wrong with me?  Not this again, oh no!  Then, in a flash of light, and with the rumble of the sky above, I heard a voice…

Kenya, you are not angry, your eggs are angry!!!  What?  My eggs are angry? OK…. tell me more…

So there it was.  A tidbit of information, in byte size form, for me to chew on as I walked five miles home after popping out of the family SUV at the intersection, calling myself taking revenge on my man.  Granted, at the time I had no idea how much these words would help me in the hours that followed.  I simply analyzed the words for a while… Angry Eggs… hump.

What I suppose the Universe was telling me is MY bad attitude was not MY attitude at all.  It’s the EGGS themselves that are pissed off! LOL!  Stay with me a minute… PMS is real, not just in the sense that masses of women have symptoms of anger, headaches, rage, bloating and so forth…(and sure, diet helps).  But in another, deeper sense,  it is the attitude of the departing Egg, which is ultimately forced to leave “home” during the lunar menses.  These eggs are not only heart broken to not have been successfully pursued by a luscious group of aggressive sperm, but they are angry about it.  Period.

Think of it, each month, another egg must GO!  A woman’s cycle is the exodus of one tiny egg, maybe two – eggs that have been in our bodies all it’s life; from the day we were born and even before that!  These eggs had lived in our ovaries, frolicking with the other eggs, snuggled close at night, hoping to be next in line for life.  Or maybe hiding behind the others as not to be next in line…  But at the onset of female menses, another one has to leave it’s tight knit family and make that journey alone into the unknown.  The lone egg makes a perilous journey down one of the dark, tight, fallopian tubes and into the Uterus.  It wants life, eggs want life – to be fertilized and made whole!

Can you imagine being this egg, begging for love, begging for a man’s seminal fluid, to be set free and made viable!  From the time the tiny egg comes into the tube, we get amazingly, and instantly horny!  That is a powerful little being… yes?  Why, I spoke to a guy just the other day, he said his wife only wants sex one time per month, just days after her cycle is complete.  It is true, many women want men like never before in those 8-10 days after…  For me, this feeling is really off the hook!  That tiny egg, migrating South, brings the summer heat to my root chakra!  It always gets me hot and bothered, makes me seek him out, makes me love him more – Damn he looks good at that time.  And when I do get my luscious hands on a delicious man during this period of time… this tiny egg, microscopic really, makes me hold him ‘in’ even when he tries to pull out.  Tee hee hee… It makes me do crazy things that even I don’t want to do.  I mean, I don’t have time for another little one right now… I am way too busy.  But the darned egg has me high on love!

Then, the morning after, I take a look at the calender… OMG – did I?  Am I?  What day Is this?  OMG!  Luckily I am not.

Days pass, and after the egg has sat and waited and watched and even coerced gigantic human females into reckless sexual abandon,  it STILL hasn’t been fertilized!  That is a bit sad for the lil egg.  This is the plight of our eggs, alone in the darkness of womb, it begins to feel life slipping away, I’d bet.  It now sees that it is not able to attract enough sperm… enough men, enough chances at life… AND all at the right time, for life to commence.  BTW, did you know that a woman can only get pregnant two days out of each month?  Wild!  The life of the human egg!  Amazing.

And so walking home Friday I realized the truth about angry eggs… I felt relief.  The sun was hot, but I wasn’t delusional.  And the information did help me.  Now I know that the Angry Egg is what modern people call PMS and it has a cure beyond over the counter pain killers.  The voices actually told me what the cure is and now I know!  I have to do a short ceremony for the departing egg each month.  Just two minutes to relieve PMS!  I am so happy.  Will try it next time!

I was also happy to know that my rude actions were not truly my actions, but the actions of an entity that we feel may be too small to influence us, but is not – oh surely not!  That angry little egg is upset.  It has to let go of life.  Thus, we ladies begin to hold on to everything – just as the egg tries to hold on to life!  Friday I was seeing stuff from the past, stuff with my parents, stuff with my high school boyfriends.  And for the first time I recognized what was happening.  I realized that all the pain I had ever experienced in life is stored in the womb and ovaries and that the plight of the egg is the plight of that old pain as well…

The purification ceremony is simple.  The cure is simple…

A few days before your period, Honor that Angry Egg.  Men can remind the women to do this or help!  In any way that you can, honor it.  PMS will ease and you will have better cycles.  You will begin to have clear insights about your eggs.  And you will identify with the pain that egg is feeling when it leaves.  But only if you honor that angry, horny, courageous, honory egg!

You think it is YOU… your mind… your hormones.  But I tell you, it is deeper.

Let me know what you think!

Bliss and Light

Kenya K