Jujumama's Love Academy

nosugarcoatn:

Oh here we go with more Foolishness. My sister Open Relationships are about Attraction to OTHERS of the opposite sex, via sexually! Dont try that! IF it was about Building a family then the children would benefit becasue would be shared. That is NOT the case. In these open relationships people come together to share with other people ontop of HAVING SEX. YOU ALL ARE NOT SHARING ASSETS and Building WEATLH!

See if we were in OUR own lands this would be differnt. However we are in America. Not only that the Black Community is RIDEN with ALL TYPES OD SOCIAL ILLS! This is NOT the answer and telling people that this way of life is ok, when STDs are on the RISE and black women are the growing cases of HIV, IS IGNORANT!

If you want this, fine, do a swing club. DOnt make it out to be something of Purity,

Souky:

While I certainly won’t undermine anyone’s opinion here, I have to totally disagree with the concept of open relationships. Open relationships usually works for the insatiable person that has proposed it –which are typically people that are hard to satisfy on whatever level for whatever reason.

Yes, it’s breeding ground for STDs, but also, for imbalanced emotions.

In Africa, the ultimate distinction for the man with many wives versus the American culture, where the man is allowed to date, while having other partner is this:

The African men had several wives, but they owned their own homes (pending the period, they had their own hut), the first wife selected the other wives, and the husband did not reside with one specific wife (they lived on the same land), they worked together essentially building a community, i.e. the village was literally raising the children.

It was not simply allowing a bored boyfriend or married man the option to live out a boyhood fantasy he read in a playboy magazine or seen on television or heard about or even conjured up.

In the American culture, this process of building community and family has been seriously perverted into justifiable sex with random individuals while dating someone else. That is not commitment, but rather an excuse to NOT be in control over ones own loins…i.e. being ruled by the flesh. No, I am not going to go spiritual.

However, I will say this, when we are not enough for ourselves, there is the tendency to do things beyond ourselves to fill that void, i.e. sex, drugs, workaholic, gossip, etc…you name. I think that ‘open relationships’ fall into that category as well.

As for my husband initiating such lunacy in our marriage such as the opportunity to have sex with another woman or be able to confide in another other me his wife, well I would be worried. It is only a matter of time before he starts to suggest other perverted behavior masked under the “keeping the love alive”. As for Will and Jada, people get together for sorts of reasons and I think that there is more to their marriage than want is reported. People are too quick to look at others and assume that what it looks like is actually how it is. For all we know, they could slept together just to procreate and actually be homosexuals.

hakashamut:

A Few New paradigm Purposes for Open Relationship

OK – finally having a moment to answer these questions from a reader…

What does one receive from having multiple partners?

First, it is my notion that a woman is receiving and a man is giving during the sexual exchange.

For many western thinkers, this is not the case. Much of what we see in porn is the woman giving herself as the man receives. The women are faking orgasm and so forth and just being a cute piece of arse.

For Eastern Thinkers, sex is a give and take with the man actively giving and the woman actively receiving. Now there are benefits to this arrangement as the man inactively receives and the woman inactively gives.

Here is what I mean: Women are to receive healing from the man during sexual intercourse. Conscious men give her complete focus, attention, energy and specific healing procedures. This is Tantra – and what my husband and I practice. Men are giving women a healing session anytime they make love with a woman. They are 100% and completely focused on the woman and healing that woman with sunlight – this is not a doctor patient relationship – this is a sun moon relationship. He shines on me and I receive and reflect.

Women are not to dance around, act giddy, prop boobs up or anything else to get him to want her. She is to attract her man naturally with her own self and then receive this man and the energy he is giving. Many have a difficult time understanding this. My Tantra trainer once told me that I do not even know how to kiss in a receptive way. I had to learn to receive a man’s tounge. He said that when a woman tosses her tongue down his throat that he bites it. She is not to be the aggressor and tongue him down, the tongue is like the penis and the mouth is a vagina. So a woman allows the man to kiss her, not the other way around.\

For some this sounds nuts. Just stop reading now because of course JujuMama goes deeper.

Men understand this gift of giving. Men love to secure, heal, protect and admonish a woman. He knows the benefits of this. And men understand that to be able to give his light to a receptive woman is the best GIFT he can ask for. He does not need her to perform or make fake noises or even move unless moved by him energetically. He knows that the prize is in the pudding – he gets a happy woman who respects and honors him and will provide even more in the long run…read on!

Whats more is that sex, in my opinion, has two purposes – Healing and Creation. The woman is healed and relaxed enough to use her power to create! The man gets a vehicle to create reality (the woman is that vehicle). So a man is healing her and she is creating something for him! She can create anything. a man may tell her to visualize world peace, a new house, a new car, more money, whatever, she can hold that vision and grow that seed in her figurative womb. This is a vast benefit for men who do not posses this Yin trait of the figurative womb as readily.

SO this is a new concept for many – but a very ancient one too. I know I know – here I go again.

I say all this to say that what we get when we expand a relationship is more healing for more women and more fulfillment for more men… I will list out the great and wonderful advantages to having a blissful sexual relationship or a blissful progressive relationship…

Benefits for Men

Heal Multiple Partners
Create Reality with multiple partners (more creation)
Gain in Light himself from sharing energy (the more a man gives light the more power he has)
Increase Intelligence – Variety breeds intelligence (conscious expansion through more challenges)
Become a better father, lover, mate, husband based on increased Power
Become a more powerful human being based on karma from healing others

Benefits for Women

Be healed on a grander scale with multiple partners (conscious male healers)
Create many realities in her figurative womb all benefiting her financially and karmically
Gain in Water and Earth Qualities as her supply or orgasmic bliss increases
Increase in Intelligence – Variety breeds intelligence (expansion of consciousness through variety of challenges)
Become a better mother, lover, mate, wife based on increased orgasmic flow and overall joy
Become a more powerful human being based on karma from creating for others

So these are the reasons why we would opt for this form of relationships…

And in terms of sex and illness – not my reality. I only attract who and what I am. I attract those who are on my vibrational level which is why I never would have to even think about the idea that someone in my space is sexually ill. Sexual illness comes from sexual guilt, obsession, or imbalance. That is not me and so that is not you…my love.

Love your thoughts readers, you are helping me shape mine – see, variety leads to intelligence!

Bliss

hakashamut:

NotSugarCoated,

Please leave the link! The Tantra I speak of is the same or similar to what you speak of – we learned from the same person, go to http://www.nityama.com and also post your link! Everyone is welcome to share here, that is the purpose of the blog.

I agree that men are taught to withhold the semen in Tantra. Of course, how can he give if he is focused on receiving a quick orgasm?

And I agree there is no need for sexual healing with many partners. But sexual healing is highly in need, that is what the entire world is searching for when they google porn. But they do not find it most times, because the art is lost.

I believe that all paths lead to truth. There is no wrong way or one way to anything. Here I espouse a way that works for my husband and I and I do that for the purpose of the beautiful expansion that comes from my sharing. I have never suggested that anyone follow my lead. As a relationships MOGUL and coach, I coach from the standpoint that my clients emerge. Whatever they want in relationships is what they can absolutely manifest! But in terms of the blog – this is my life… A blog is a diary, you see, shared with the world for the purpose of expansion and evolution. You see, we are all commenting thinking growing – how lovely?

Bliss to all!

Kamau:

Wow, lots of emotions here. I think we are caught up on what was “back in da muvaland” lol. The past in this situation is like watching tv, mostly fantasy. The fact is our Ancestors created systems for family and community that worked for them. We have the same right and responsibility to do the same. Open marriages may be different than what was typical in Afrika, but it is a powerful tool for keeping our family’s together. Let’s look at the facts, the traditional American nuclear family is a broken and failing institution. Nearly 50% of all marriages end in divorce, wasting resources by buying separate houses and making lawyers wealthy. We invest so much in hurting the other person, we all end up jaded and evil. Men develop terrible opinions of women (gold diggers), and women resort to being bitter. Then we pass this negative energy on to the next relationship, and so on, and so on…

When will it end???

It will end when we create something that works. Let the 50% who are are manogamous keep at it, but the rest of us have to be true to ourselves and stop this maddening cycle. I am open to whatever the universe will reveal. No lables on relationships, just an expresion of love (not sex) with all of creation.

Blessings to all… (c :
Kamau

lantanagurl:

btw, are the Open Relationship Posts listed above supposed to be clickable links? If so, they do not work.