Well, there is a beginning and an end to all things, right?  And truly, if we think of life as a spiraling… and a movement upwards in a continuum of growth at all times, then there is no such thing as beginning and end, or past, present, and future.  I speak to you with words of love.  I speak to you with a voice from highest light.  I want to thank you for reading my journey of a thousand miles…Thank you for taking this journey with me.

Writing my life here, and creating this space has been a riveting experience.  I feel an overwhelming sense of support and love from all of you.  I am up to 40,000 visitors per month from all around the world and it has been with great enthusiasm that I prepared 150 sacred posts for you.  When I post, I think of all of you.  I think about the grace of love, and wonder of life, and the sheer enjoyment of evolution!  This feeling is what has kept me moving forward, as well as the bliss of your sharing.  I sit and wait for your comments like a child on Christmas day… I love knowing that someone is out there, witnessing my life.

I appreciate you.

This is my final post to the JujuMama Blog | Manifest Sexy.

I complete this cycle of my life and ready myself for the new year.  I have done what I needed to do here.  The love revolution has been televised.  I am, now, moving on.  Of course, the blog will remain awake and alive.  There are 150 posts here – that is three full length books for your reading enjoyment ~ all written free of charge, with absolute love and profound endearment.  But with this post, I end the saga – I leave a full year of my life written for all to see.  Nothing sensational about it – this has been, simply, a journey in trust and faith and love that I have allowed to come through me… to you.

Today I found a post on another blog.  I don’t read a lot.  Most of the theories on this blog are intuited…  I like to meditate and see and live a theory in order to know it.  Reading is so intellectual.  My ancestors or angels, or expansions of my imagination have informed my theories… But today I found this.  THIS is the quintessence of what I have meant to say all this time. I do hope you enjoy it as much as I did.  I offer it as a final post here on Jujumama | Manifest Sexy.

Thank you again.  You can always contact me by coming here and clicking “Make An Appointment”.  I am always with you on facebook and twitter and linked in and email – mail@jujumama.com.  I am always your Manifestation and Sexy Love Coach… but this journey, this blog journal, this amazing ride is done.  Enjoy this final post!

I’m Sorry I Love You: Simple Steps to Healing
by Dr. Joe Vitale

Two years ago, I heard about a therapist in Hawaii who cured a complete ward of criminally insane patients – without ever seeing any of them. The psychologist would study an inmate’s chart and then look within himself to see how he created that person’s illness. As he improved himself, the patient improved.

When I first heard this story, I thought it was an urban legend. How could anyone heal anyone else by healing himself? How could even the best self-improvement master cure the criminally insane?

It didn’t make any sense. It wasn’t logical, so I dismissed the story…

However, I heard it again a year later. I heard that the therapist had used a Hawaiian healing process called ho’oponopono. I had never heard of it, yet I couldn’t let it leave my mind. If the story was at all true, I had to know more.

I had always understood “total responsibility” to mean that I am responsible for what I think and do. Beyond that, it’s out of my hands. I think that most people think of total responsibility that way. We’re responsible for what we do, not what anyone else does. The Hawaiian therapist who healed those mentally ill people would teach me an advanced new perspective about total responsibility.  [Well, I don't know about new and advanced... The ancients have been practicing this in the jungles of time for a millennium].

His name is Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. We probably spent an hour talking on our first phone call. I asked him to tell me the complete story of his work as a therapist. He explained that he worked at Hawaii State Hospital for four years. That ward where they kept the criminally insane was dangerous. Psychologists quit on a monthly basis. The staff called in sick a lot or simply quit. People would walk through that ward with their backs against the wall, afraid of being attacked by patients. It was not a pleasant place to live, work, or visit.

Dr. Len told me that he never saw patients. He agreed to have an office and to review their files. While he looked at those files, he would work on himself. As he worked on himself, patients began to heal.

“After a few months, patients that had to be shackled were being allowed to walk freely,” he told me. “Others who had to be heavily medicated were getting off their medications. And those who had no chance of ever being released were being freed.”

I was in awe.

“Not only that,” he went on, “but the staff began to enjoy coming to work. Absenteeism and turnover disappeared. We ended up with more staff than we needed because patients were being released, and all the staff was showing up to work.”

This is where I had to ask the million dollar question: “What were you doing within yourself that caused those people to change?”

“I was simply healing the part of me that created them,” he said.

I didn’t understand.

Dr. Len explained that total responsibility for your life means that everything in your life – simply because it is in your life – is your responsibility. In a literal sense the entire world is your creation.

Whew. This is tough to swallow. Being responsible for what I say or do is one thing. Being responsible for what everyone in my life says or does is quite another. Yet, the truth is this: if you take complete responsibility for your life, then everything you see, hear, taste, touch, or in any way experience is your responsibility because it is in your life.

This means that terrorist activity, the president, the economy – anything you experience and don’t like – is up for you to heal. They don’t exist, in a manner of speaking, except as projections from inside you. The problem isn’t with them, it’s with you, and to change them, you have to change you.

I know this is tough to grasp, let alone accept or actually live. Blame is far easier than total responsibility, but as I spoke with Dr. Len, I began to realize that healing for him and in ho’oponopono means loving yourself. If you want to improve your life, you have to heal your life. If you want to cure anyone – even a mentally ill criminal – you do it by healing you.

I asked Dr. Len how he went about healing himself. What was he doing, exactly, when he looked at those patients’ files?

“I just kept saying, ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I love you’ over and over again,” he explained.

That’s it?

That’s it.

Turns out that loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself, and as you improve yourself, you improve your world.

In short, [Dr. Len says] there is no “out there” out there. It would take a whole book to explain this advanced technique with the depth it deserves. Suffice it to say that whenever you want to improve anything in your life, there’s only one place to look: inside you.

And when you look, do it with love…

I offer Tears of Joy, lovelies!  Wasn’t that beautiful?

Full Circle.

Best and Bliss

Love Always

JujuMama xoxo

Kenya K Stevens

Signing off.

So many women want to know is it necessary to marry.  I mean with this entire idea of open love and Universal Love, why marry?  Right?  Well, in my humble opinion, I think that marriage is a foundational step in obtaining what we think of as Universal Love.  Now please allow me to explain…

Do I believe that one has to be married in order to be happy?  No.  Of course not.  Happiness is a choice.  We can choose at any phase of life to be happy.  And we should, because happiness begets happiness.  If we are happy single, chances are we will meet happy people and enjoy happy relationships!

Do I believe that without a man, women are doomed?  No way!  One can spend a lifetime without a man and still enjoy the bounties of life!  So can any single man!  I don’t even use the word single – instead I use FREE!

Notwithstanding, as a married woman, I believe that marriage is good for me and a needed component in my life, even as I have an Open Marriage.  I have come up with a few reasons as to why marriage is so wonderful.  Click and enjoy!

Jujumama’s Top FIVE List on why A Good Marriage is fabulous!

1.  Marriage ensures that one will be exposed to the Law of Duality.

The law of Duality is one of the Universal Laws just like the Law of Attraction.  I discuss that here. In a marriage there are two becoming ONE.  The law of duality is all about Yin and Yang and the coming together of these forces for harmony.  In each of ourselves, we have yin and yang.  When we come into union with a partner, we now have to decide of the two of us, who will be primarily yin and who will be primarily yang – this is obvious as there is now a new unit beyond the individual self.

So in this new unit, we have to have Yin and Yang.  Working this scenario out can be a real whopper of a task.  Often, in American relationships, there are two STRONG YANGS and fighting ensues until we work this out. (Here is a good way to work it out…)  So it is a wonderful thing to be able to work this out in marriage because we then create a new skill.  It is called adaptability and flexibility (the purpose of yoga).  If we can adapt to our roles in marriage, we are more well rounded and balanced people.  What a great thing about marriage, when this is adhered to…

2.  Marriage will increase your overall power to manifest whatever you want on Earth!

The power of manifestation is all about the coming together of yin and yang forces.  To make a baby on this planet, we have to have the coming together of man and woman.  Thus, and in like manner, to manifest money, cars, clothing, resources, joy, peace and love, we have to have the coming together of Yin and Yang.  In a marriage this is a powerful thing.  Have you ever seen a couple who argues all of the time and also has no cash?  This is simply due to the fact that the wasted energy in lack of harmony is preventing these two powerful forces called yin and yang to come together and manifest something.

When we use Tantra – or sensual bliss between yin and yang to come together and create – it simply means that the act of sex becomes a ritual and we can create anything from the bedroom.  How is this done?  Deep science – attend our Tantra retreat in December to discover this powerful skill and art!

But know this… If you have yin and yang balanced or a couple living the Law of Duality together, they become a vortex of synergy that can possibly create whatever they want together – through the act of loving one another, they both increase the power of the individual unit (single human being).  They are now a powerful magnet – with North and South Poles respectively – attracting all things good!  This has been luscious for me in my union!

Some say – well I can do this with any man or woman.  Sure you can!  But when you develop a lasting Vortex that you work on over the years with one person, this become a stronger force than the shorter term relationships that you will develop.  Right?

3.  Marriage will evolve you.

Becoming harmoniously united in love with one person for a lifetime is very evolutionary.  You will work out the Law of Duality and master it!  You will become the most powerful vortex known to man with your partner.  But most important – I expressed in the Progressive Relationships article that you will also be able to live the purpose of any relationship – which is GROWTH.  The purpose of love relationships are GROWTH – not love – GROWTH.  Love is the BENEFIT – GROWTH is the purpose… So, by spiraling upwards over the years with one mate, you will grow out of many older versions of yourself.  This may not sound fun, but this is the purpose of life itself – to grow into your best, most powerful, most sustainable and wise self!  Marriage with this purpose in mind will ensure this!

4.  Marriage is a microcosm of community

We are human beings on the planet earth.  But we are not islands.  We are interconnected and so the concept of community becomes important.  We need one another, we need one another’s gifts and talents to round out our own.  Thus, we create community, culture, mores and law.  Fabulous!  I have no problem with laws as long as they match up with Universal Law.

Now, in terms of the family unit – when forming communities, what is the base unit?  It is, of course the family unit.  Groups of families come together to form a community.  It happens in every culture since the beginning of time.  SO without the family unit could there be this larger unit we call community?  NO.  Just as without the individual, there could be no family or community.  Right?  So three circles – first individual – second family – third community.  Three concentric circles that make our meeting and sharing possible.

So we can’t just say -well, we no longer need the family unit – it just isn’t working out.  I will be alone, maybe have kids on my own and so forth… this would put a dent in the center circle – family… right?

5.  Marriage is a fertile place to raise children.

Because my husband and I have three children, I can speak on this one.  Children require a community to be raised.  The essence of that community is the individual family unit.  This family unit, as I spoke on earlier, is made possible with the harmonious coming together of a man and woman or couple (ok, man and man, or woman and woman as long as one is yin and one is yang).

But children need a real foundation of family in order to thrive, in my humble opinion.  Why?  They need a consistent example of the yin role and the yang role.  Without this, they end up fumbling in their own relationships because they do not know what a relationship is.  We have all been there.  Living in this country, the level of dysfunctional homes are soaring and we have all had our share of not seeing the roles clearly demonstrated which affect our ability to relate in our own relationships…

So with the evolution of a couple, the growth they experience together, and the living out of the yin and yang roles, they provide this sort of firm foundation for children.  Our children get to witness the foundational structure of yin and yang in harmony.  Now harmony does not mean that all the days are perfect.  Harmony simply means that they see us working to live our roles, with the purpose being growth.  This is more than enough.  Perfection is evolution in progress!

I would love to hear your thoughts on this…

I can say that, yes, I have a good husband and a family unit.  I created it at the age of 14 when I proclaimed that I would be married by the age of 21, which I was.  My parents are still together and I watched them work things out in their own say, and so I was not afraid of marriage.  Lucky me.  But anyone can clear the past and work towards harmonious relationships.  Anyone at all!

My good husband is married to me, a good woman.  But all human beings are good at heart so there is  good one for you too, maybe you already have him or her.  The point is that marriage is not, in my opinion, the issue.  The practice of marriage in this modern society seems to be without basic Universal Laws to govern things!  And it is so simple, you know  So simple really.

In terms of an open relationship – well I discuss the ten ways to know you are ready here – and I discuss the entire process here… Anyone who has a stable family unit can extend things if this is their desire… It is universal law… everything that is established will expand.  No need to fight it.  But also, no need to rush it.  My husband and I have an open relationship because we have done the work to set up a stable foundation of trust and love by utilizing the Law of Duality.  He is Yang and I am Yin.  He is the leader and I am the Devotee.  Both are Equally powerful positions…

Love and Light

Juju xoxox

I am that… yes, ahead of my time… I realize that I identify with this ad and with Steve Jobs because I am different, I am what some of you consider to be a different thinker… but I am real, I am sincere and I am committed to my purpose: To undo the guilt and shame that women and men feel about sensual/spiritual/sexual acts of love – thus opening millions to the Aquarian Paradigms of Universal Love, Progressive Love and Boundless Power to Manifest Anything Desired!

This week I have placed some older stories to the front page… I went digging in the JujuMama crates to see how far we’ve come as ONE… Thank you for reading JujuMama | Manifest Sexy circa 2008!

Here is the original post | Ahead of My Time | January 1, 2009

Ahead Of My Time…

That I am. That I am. It’s all good… When I say:

Change Your Man – what do you see? Do you see a miserable woman in an abusive relationship trying to tell you that she can Change him?  All the while suffering from a black eye?  LOL!

I see a beautiful Goddess, establishing relationship, wielding her mighty, unshakable, undeniable, spiritual power to shift reality; as if baking a cake – but stirring the pot of hips lifted high, thoughts even higher, luscious circles of light, glowing warm, moon essence womb, sifting thoughts, leaving the old behind…

No words, no lectures, no nagging, long gone is excessive talking or dramatic force – just pure crystalline magic seeping from seams from her skirts..

Sensual Tantrika, Love Soaked, Feminine Vibe…Water Bending Power… lusty dew in her eyes – She drenches him free and he doesn’t even know it…She drenches him subtly as she knows not to show it.  He reignites his fire, over and over again… he comes to find her, as gentle as the wind.   Strong and powerful, though, are his fires that glow, for within him rests bountiful, heartfelt intention to love her forever and ever…

Juju is just that simple!  Get your mind on your own magic today!

Order your copy of this epic work today!

Change Your Man…http://www.amazon.com

Love ya’ll!

JujuMama

WOW!  I am so excited to share this little note that came into my inbox after the call last night.  A wonderful soul, and good friend of mine wrote me a letter that I now call – the note from my own hell. Let’s talk about heaven and hell for a moment since it is, oddly enough and still, such a large paradox of modern culture…

Heaven is supposed to be a place we go when we die, if we are pure at heart – sinners, Fat Change!  Heaven is supposed to have pearly gates and cool, flowing, river of joy to bath in and stuff.  Good people go here to meet their maker.  Sound fun!  Hell, on the other hand, is the only other option. (should there not be a middle place for those who did some good and some bad…?  And BTW who defines good and bad for us? LOL!)  If you were “bad” this lifetime, you will go to hell when you die… OK?  And rumor has it that you will burn eternally.

So, of course, I have another spin on these mythological places called heaven and hell.  I don’t want to offend anyone, but certain non-Cristian, non-Islamic, non-Judaism based traditions have certain beliefs and sociologist in the West deem these beliefs “mythology”.  Other traditions have other beliefs and sociologists deem these beliefs “fact”.  I am a bit confused as to which as which, thus, I deem all traditional stories, religious beliefs and so forth, mythology.  I simply even the playing field, right?  If one culture is said to have a religion based on “mythology” and another’s are “fact”, and there are literally millions of different cultural/religious beliefs in the world, then who decides which is mythology and which is fact?  So I’ll be fair -then – and say that it is all mythology.  Don’t be offended, mythology is not a demeaning, condescending, dirty, word.  Right?  If it IS a dirty word then why are we using it to describe a cultural or religious belief anywhere in the world?  You feel me?  LOL!

Come on ya’ll.  I don’t play…  So lets move on to the note that I received from my hellish self!!!

My personal “mythology” (tee hee hee) is that heaven and hell are states of mind and states of matter.  When I think of hell – I think of the places I go to when I am angry, irritated, frustrated, incensed and otherwise taken in deep with negative emotion.  Now I do not believe that negative emotion is hell – I believe that my response to and use of these emotions can cause me to land in a living hell.  If I were to process these emotions and channel them wisely, then I could end up in heaven.  But if I attache to these emotions and think that i must carry them with me allowing them to stress me out, hold me back or otherwise destroy my life, then I am in hell.

On the other hand, I believe that I can have living heaven as well.  Positive emotion like Joy, Love, Bliss, Pleasure, Peace and Enlightenment can take me directly to a living heaven.  But again, it is all based on how I process these emotions.  If I feel the pleasure but then have guilt about it – hell again.  If I feel the joy but worry that the joy might some day be taken from me – living hell.  But when I embrace the joy, and bring more of it from the inside of me sharing it out – HEAVEN!  When I embrace the peace and the pleasure and enjoy it – and allow it to become a living part of me – Heaven again!  Yes, right here on planet Earth.

SO I say that I received this note from hell because it came from the parts of me that when processed improperly are my living hell.  The note is something I created from fear and lack and a disbelief in the Godliness of who I am.  (How dare I say God after calling heaven and hell mythological places, right?  LOL!)  This facebook note that I received came to me by way of the hellish thoughts that I have attached to over time and space.  BUT, I process the emotions properly and you can do this too!  Even with facebook comments that you do not “like”.  I allow the note from hell to take me directly to heaven!

So here is the note…

NOT EVERY PROBLEM IS CAUSED BY ONE’S RELATIONSHIP WITH HER FATHER!!!! Just stop proclaiming that Kenya–your one size fits all diagnosis is completely flawed. And, if one has deep psychological scares caused by her Father, that person needs the assistance of a Licensed, Trained, Caring, Professional Psychologist or Psychiatrist. There are plenty of Doctors of Psychology who are licensed, who practice spritual concepts in their treatment and who believe in the Law of Attraction. As a bonus, many people have insurance to cover the theraphy for next to nothing with a little co-pay. Lacing my ass—if anyone has real psychological issues, then they should seek assistance from a licensed professional with years of training–there are hundreds of professonals in the country who believe in spritual concepts and the impact of past lives. My heart goes out to anyone who has not had a kind and loving Father as I did. Please work with a professional to gain true inner healing.

~Your Hell (who refuses spell check)

What do you think guys?  This is a really deep note, right?

Wow!  So first question to always ask when we get this form of communication is – how did I create that???  Next question:  how is it my ticket to heaven if processed properly?  Well, let me count the ways.  First, I am overjoyed to see this part of me appear in my face this way.  Oh yes, what this note proclaims is a part of me that I thought I had dealt with but now I know I have not.

It is the self-doubt that I have always languaged on the inside.  I used to say it out loud, but now it is internal chatter – “who do you think you are, you do not have a degree in psychiatry – you have a degree in early childhood development, child psych and education – how are you going to administer life coaching… and what are all these modalities you are coming up with?  Lacing?  How did you create that and who are you going to sell that to?  Are you kidding me kenya k?”

WOW – Wow – wow!  So the note from hell, the hell within myself, is talking real talk. It is an exact and perfect mirror of my own thoughts.  So how is this a blessing and how do each of us, when we receive this type of input, stay clear on the purpose of it and use it to our advantage.  Here is how I do it…

1. Never take things like this personally.  Do not look at who said it and place blame.
2. Analyze the comment and be sure to thank the person who brought the message.
3. In your quiet time, think of the comment, feel the rage it made in you,  VERY IMPORTANT to feel the feelings.
4. Think about WHY this has come to you at this time, what is the lesson, and think in terms of how you created it!
5. You create all experiences to help you grow beyond who you were!  Know that as you analyze…
   
6. Find the meaning… find the mirror, find the purpose, and allow that meaning to put you to work on yourself!

OK, so I did this analysis last night when I realized… wait… I think these same thoughts that she shared!!!  This is a HUGE wake up call from my spirit telling me – HAY – KENYA – you still have to erase this thinking from your hard drive if you want to go further in your career.  We are screaming it at you KENYA – we are showing, with this note, that you still feel this way and have not dealt with it!  We are trying to help you KENYA!  LISTEN please… and learn!

Me:  OK, I see.  I still feel this way, my glorious friend is a vehicle for SPIRIT!  Thank you glorious friend.  I see that I have not cleared these negative beliefs!  Now I can get to work…

Me:  I get to work.  I sit down and meditate.  First I go back to the time when I said these very same things to myself… doesn’t feel good, I was young and afraid… then I go back further… oh yes, I feel this way because someone told me that I could not accomplish what I wanted until I had certain degrees and accolades…  I was nine then.  Is it true Kenya?  Is it true Kenya?  IS IT TRUE? YYYYEESSS!  I still believe that it is true!  No matter how much talent I have – I need something more to prove it!

Me:  I begin to cry during the meditation… I feel it is true.  I have to be Tony Robbins, I have to be a white woman named Dr. Ruth… I have to be older… I have to be smarter… I have to be rich… It takes money to make money… It is hard to make it… I have to have straight hair… no kinky hair… no short hair… no long!   (OMG is that why I spent 400 dollars on my fly new do?) [New realization: My new look is a part of my path... I can accept it and love it just as I loved natural kinky hair for the past 20 years! - All is ONE]

Me:  Crying more and meditating deep… doing some EFT to to tap into my cellular memory… It is not true. Tapping…  Even though I feel that I have to be more in order to share the gifts that God (I said God again… LOL.  Am I still allowed?) has given me, I still love myself and I still intend to move forward with my objectives… Tapping… Even thought I feel that I am not smart enough, rich enough, or white enough to make this happen, I still love myself and I am still willing to move successfully toward my objectives. My body shivers as it releases those cellular memories…

Me:  The tears flow out and I am now visualizing the people I have already laced, the people who say things like “Kenya, you have changed my life” I am now even seeing the work I did for ten years with others before charging a single dime… but now at 35 ~ this as a career… so I charge… That brings guilt… why?  So I go back further… Tapping…Why is there guilt in charging for my talent?  Mother, father, they had businesses and worked hard and felt guilt in charging and still do 30 years later!  So I clear that- I clear even for them… them… them…  I visualize them charging and loving it because people are loving and finding value in them, and I see them with retirement cash because they charged properly for the past 30 years instead of sacrificing themselves…  Ah that feels better.

Me:  Them lovely…   I see lawyers, doctors, Psychiatrists charging $500 an hour and then I see me – I went to school for just as long as they did – four years at Howard, ten years at Ausar Auset school for Meta-physicians… I paid the price, I charge… And with 78% of women still non-orgasmic and 66% of marriages still adulterous… and with 55% of marriages still breaking up and … I charge…I share… tapping.  Even the millions of psychiatrists have not yet solved it… There is room for all.

Me:  And I see myself create my own certification program.  Degrees?  I will give them.  My methodologies, priceless.  Abundant people from everywhere wanting to discover the modalities, like Lacing, Tantric Lacing, The Three Way Mirror, The Progressive Relationships, The open Relationship, Yin and Yang rebalancing… they want it.  NO matter their age, skin color, no matter my age, skin color, we see pure light in one another and we grasp hold.  My methods were channeled to me and this is higher than a college degree, not that I do not already have one.  But will be even more than that… more than a peice of paper that my parents paid 100,000 dollars for.  Dollars that they sacrificed themselves for…  My methods Will heal… Do heal… Will heal… Do indeed heal – And I have the testimony to prove it, but I do not need testimony prove it.  Kenya does heal… we all heal. Kenya is enough.  We all are enough.

And all the while – it is not me – it is through me that this healing happens.  It is through me that the Universe speaks and writes.  And I accept that.  I accept me.  I honor me.  I don’t need your degree for that.  You need mine.

And after the tears stop.  I am in heaven.

And after the salt water carries away the mythology of a dying mental paradigm (my own hell), heaven awaits.

And after I look back at this message on Facebook that she sent to me, to me!  A gift to me, to me!

I see that she is my heaven on Earth.  She is my Lord and Savior, yes the letter writer herself, my savior.  We are always that for one another… no matter what the words, no matter what the energy of the words, no matter what.

No Matter What
(I love that song by TI)
Now this type of processing will create Whirled Peas… fo sho!
Bliss to you!
Juju xoxox

Wow – I am so happy for Whitney Houston.  And I am really excited for Bobby Brown too.  What?  Oh, you didn’t expect for me to say that, huh?  Well, I said it.  I love both of these amazing human beings who agreed to show us all what it looks like to live in a relationship with:

A. No relationships training

B.  No relationships support

C.  Without consciously taking 100% responsibility for manifesting creation.

Oh yes.  Bobby and Whitney are but models to demonstrate to America and Americans what is going on in each of our relationships to some degree or another.  They agreed to do it, to show us, to be the model for us to look at, judge, decipher, pontificate over and thus become closer to discovery of our own selves.  Kudos Blissed couple!  You even did a great little reality show for us to get the inside scoop…

So what have we learned?  Let’s begin Lesson ONE.:

The Dumb Down Vs Feminine Receptivity

So Whitney proclaimed that she had to dumb herself down after making the hit movie Bodyguard because Bobby became jealous of her.  How often do you hear that?   Very often indeed.  Many women feel as though they have to become smaller in order to appease their men, especially if she is more "successful" than the man she is with.  However, I have a different remedy for women who might feel this way.  Maybe Whitney is reading this post and can practice this the next time she attracts this situation.  Oh yes, she will attract it again because apparently she has not taken the moral of her story (Lemons) and made use of it (Lemonade).

So what is the difference between dumbing down and being feminine.  BIG difference!  When Whitney said she dumbed down, she really meant that she recognized Bobby’s alleged "jealousy" and tried to do things that would make him know that she still respects him even as the world gave her respect for her accomplishments.  Great!  But is it necessary?  No.  And did she attract his behavior, yes!

Here is how we as woman attract men to show up as envious of us, or even intimidated by us.

1. We expect it.  We are so fearful of our own light that we second guess ourselves and we feel that everyone will judge us based on our perceived status… And so because we focus on that expectation, we attract the malevolent behavior directly into our lives.
2. We look for it.  Because of the way we were raised – “don’t brag, don’t be a show off, don’t be so uppity – so forth, we begin to look at our own accomplishments through the lenses of fear.  We fear that others will be envious and we look for that behavior in others.  When we find it we say “see!  Mom was right, people are envious of me” and thereby, we attract what we are looking for (even if only sub-consciously are we looking for it.)
3. We are refuse to submit to a man.  "Successful" women, because of the first two areas of concern, often say to themselves that they do not need a man, or that they can do without a man.  Even if they want a "good" man, they fear they will never find one, and they even secretly fear that if they do find one, he will want us to dumb down.  And so we attract what we focus on!  And when we get into that "terrible" situation with an envious man, we revert back and try to harmonize things by "dumbing down" instead of being naturally receptive and surrendered to him; but it does not work because in essence we are supposed to be getting rid of fear, doubt, and negative thought patterns and submitting naturally to the man!  So the dimming down does not work and we say "you see, I tried to submit to him, but it did not work, he abused me".

In either case and when things don’t work out – Its time for the blame game.  So old paradigm!  Let’s take a lesson from Whitney.  She had several options when faced with the jealousy that she expected and thus created in a mate.  She could have:

• worked on the fears that she had about people being jealous of her, eradicated these from her thinking
• exercised feminine receptivity and surrender which is more natural and authentic than a fake “dumb down”

How does one do these two things?

Well, women and men have fears.  Growing up in the good ole USA ensures that we will not honor ourselves and value our talents.  Usually parents tell us not to be a show off because others will be upset.  All of this is non-sense.  But it is sown into our sub-conscious minds young.  So we have to reach into the sub-conscious mind and work those fears away.  This is done through meditation, trance, deep thought, artistic healing, tantric healing and a process I created called Lacing.  The sub-conscious mind does not understand language.  It understands music, emotion, feeling, art, scent and visions.  So this is how you can retrain the brain to be fearless and thus attract fearless individuals!

In terms of being feminine authentically.  There are many ways to do this.  First and foremost, it is allowing your man to be the leader of the household.  Even with Whitney’s great “success” she would have to depend on Bobby to be her guard and guide.  Now this may have been difficult because she had management staff for this.  But he would have to be placed into a major role of governance in order to feel a part of things.  Instead of “dumbing down” if she had placed him is a role of leader and guide, asking him questions about what directions she should take, honoring his opinion and advice, depending on him for certain tasks like financial management, and protection, he would have felt quite at home in her life.

Instead, he was a boy.  She attracted him that way.  But the way to grown a jealous boy into an honorable man is to honor him.  Not dumb down, but honor him as a man.  Need him!  You know?  She would have had to depend on him for specific things and allowed him to grow into that role.  All the while, complementing him and supporting him with soft, warm, embracing feminine magic!

Does it still seem abstract?  Well, here is a list of practical things that we ladies can do to create in any man that dignity that we adore.  We can make any man hospitable and giving by taking these steps.

1. No matter how much money you make, allow your man to take the lead on how the money is spent, paying the bills, managing the finances.
2. Go to your man with all questions concerning direction and ask him what to do.  Let his wisdom unfold upon you.  Men are very wise (as are women, but more so because of intuition, not practical logic)
3. Compliment your man when he has made a choice, tell him how well following his advice worked for you and thank him for the advice and support.
4. Submit to your man in the bedroom, try not to make sex happen on your own terms all of the time.  If he initiated sex, go with it and ENJOY him!  Tell him how much he pleases you (even if he does not) Recall the law of attraction.  If you are focused on enjoying him then eventually he will become very enjoyable in the bed.  If you are focused on how he does not measure up then you will attract more and more distance and turmoil int he bedroom.

Do you have to do these things?  Hell no!  But should you do them if you want a harmonious union, indeed you should and can!

So thanks again Whitney for showing us something very important.  Men need to be considered a success in order to feel comfortable in the relationship.  And women have the power to encourage it.  When we do, then we get anything we desire from our men, why?  Because nothing succeeds like success!  Men will feel that everything they do is fabulous and thus come to you more often to find out what you need, what you desire and what you really crave.  And they will not be afraid to at least try and deliver because you are always complimentary and rarely blame them for not "doing it right".

Bliss and Light!

Juju xoxo

(I am sure you have some comments on this one, lets chat!  Leave your comments below.  Bobby and Whitney – Lesson II coming soon!)

Wow!I have had a busy two weeks. Do you like this sample of our latest photos? We’re moving to NYC! So we’ve been in ATL for two weeks to close out our living there and get packed for the Big Apple.While there, I had a few awesome experiences. I thought they were valuable and you may enjoy peeping in… giggle.

My fun began the second day that I was back to Atlanta.We were staying at a hotel in Buckhead and there was this cool little Diner nearby.A friend on Twitter told me that my Tweets were featured in RedBook Magazine!So I rushed on over the CVS to pick it up!With book in hand I went to the little Diner to eat and read!

When I walked in there was this amazingly beautiful man standing right there, right in the doorway. He seemed to be the host of the restaurant, but later I found that he was the owner – or at least his parents owned the place…

So he sat me with a smooth grin and proceeded send this powerful energy my way. It was like we knew one another, but not this lifetime. Nope. I had never seen this guy before in my life. But, I flirted back – happily. But was really more interested in my RedBook debut! However, everytime I tried to focus on reading, his vibration would find mine… Have you ever had the feeling that someone is staring at you? It was more powerful than usual… and his presence began to penetrate me, deep. But I kept my cool.I wondered what he was after.Of course he would have good intentions as we only attract who and what we are, and I have good intentions toward people… so I’m safe!

This king – yes, his name, I found out, means king in the Ethiopian language.He is from Ethiopia.Nice.So this king decided that he was going to be my waiter.I don’t know what he did with the lady who was supposed to wait my table, but he got rid of her, I suppose.Each time he came to the table he gave me those eyes… they were wanting eyes… eyes that told my heart to open and to allow.I followed the urge to naturally allow and relaxed in his gaze.

When I completed my meal, which he helped me to choose from the menu, I went outside to have sun on the terrace.Guess who was outside.I swear I had no idea.The King!He was out there with his friends… They were all really lovely, just like him, later I found that these were his cousins.Immediately he asked me to join them.OK. YES.

At the table these men beamed with masculinity.I was feeling a bit heavenly when they started asking me questions about myselfand because my original King had told them that I am a love coach, they wanted to know more about Tantra and Relationships Bliss. OK.So I explained some of my theories and the King went inside to get me a cup of tea.His cousins seemed impressed and we actually sat on that terrace for the next two hours talking. Opps!

Mind you, my husband is back in the hotel room probably thinking – what happened to my wife?I couldn’t take a break to call him? Man! At least now I know what he means when he says that he couldn’t get away to call me.Wow, I am learning so much about life these days.He is serious when he gives me that “old excuse?” OMG!Now I see that he can’t take a break, like I could not this day. So all past drama is forgiven.(Right ladies?)

So anyways, it was time to go.We had romanced one another with talk for so long that I could not take it anymore.I either needed to go home with my king and his beautiful cousins and make sweet, heavenly, love in the afternoon sun or return directly to my lovely hubby to explain the time lapse. There was no in between at this point.

We took a few pics together before I left (his camera).He held my waist, during the posing… Ohhhwait – I almost lost my original train of thought.Jeeezzzz… Ladies, do you know what I’m talking about? Have you ever had that right kinda waist hold that makes you want to just go ahead and moan… when done well, it makes you want to shriek out loud, where ever you are – with joy… but you don’t. I was loving those posses and the sultry afternoon sun only helped to intensify my growing HOT desire for this king. Is this natural? Or is this the feeling mother told me to shun? Oh noooo – this is natural baby.

So with an energetic tug – I pulled away from that matrix of hot desire and headed for the street.

The craziest thing happened when I got to the corner!On the street I stood across from the little diner when this black Lexus car pulled past me only to stop fast on the brakes!This man with locks screams out the window – HAY!I’m thinking – is he talking to me?HAY – come here beauty – OMG!So I go over to him (I’m on the ten day flirting challenge too – I have to submit!) and again, we only attract who and what we are… so I obliged. We are all ONE BEING…

This man is beautiful!He has amazing locks.His car is clean. He told me that he had to stop. I asked him why? He said something about my dress, my skin, the sun, I dun know… So he asks me what I was doing.I look back to see if my king is watching, you know how men are, one king might get upset if another is trying to push up. SO old paradigm, right?But he was not there and this new boy is here, and he is trying to convince me to go to Piedmont Park with him for a game of Frisbee.(frisbee?)

So you know what I did?I said YES! I popped into his car and we were off!Now wait a minute, I got into the car of a “strange guy” – YES!I don’t believe in “strange guys” if I am not a strange gal then I cannot attract a strange guy… right? It may be odd to you, but it is simple universal law to me. The Universe has my back!

SO there I was at Piedmont park after talking to this boy in the car for the ten minute ride.He is a gem!He is so fabulous and intelligent.He is a grad student in physical therapy, and guess who he is playing Frisbee with ?An entire group of like networked Atlanteans who are, literally, the cities finest.They get together and play Organized Frisbee each Thursday.Can you imagine that?

So finally I called my hubby and let him know what happened to me.I asked him to come to the park with the kids to meet my new friends.We all had an amazing evening!My lovely darling who had introduced me to organized Frisbee with Atlanta’s professional crowd asked me to please hook him up with someone I knew. Guess what he told me!???? You won’t believe it. He said that like attracts like, so I must have more friends who are similar in vibration! OMG! He knew all about that sort of thing!He wants a woman to hang with sometimes… any takers?LOL!

So a few days later I was still thinking about my East African friend when he texts me!

“Let’s get together – want to see you again”. YUM! I mean – YES!

I met my sweetie at Caribou Coffee in Buckhead.He promised me a movie and dinner, but because I had a LIVE conference call that night I was late and by the time I got to him, it was 11:00 PM.So we skipped the movie and he served me dinner at his place.We started watching a movie at his place, but I only wanted to watch the full moon at his place…

His gorgeous place was prime location for moon gazing – I asked if we could turn off the TV and gaze.YES.

So we lay on separate couches… talking and moon gazing. We had pretty deep discussion… Often on dates, men want to have a session about life issues because I am a life coach.I try to avoid it, but it happens all the time. Men are less prone to just come on in for a consult with JujuMama… They like to take the back door. LOL!

So to ease this sweet King, and take him away from his “troubles” I took him into a guided meditation…

I guided him intoa place of peace with my words. Of course we traveled through time and I allowed him to see the future. Any of us can travel to the past or future to make changes in our lives. He was really relaxed and receptive by the time we returned to the moment.And so of course, he returned the favor…He looked like he was in tears. He asked for and needed hugs. So we began an intense round of connecting with bodies… I faintly recall his hands on my waist again… Recall the original feeling that signaled my need for this connection, back at the restaurant that day…Its baaaccckkk.

BTW – I am starting to get a new sense of the world. What if our bodies are really telling us what our spirits want to say… you know, that we need healing… what if when we have the goose bumps, or feel an electric tingle when we catch the eye of another beautiful human being on Planet Earth – that it’s Source speaking in tongues to our hearts making us long for what we actually need – organically? What if it isn’t lust, or base passion at all? What if everything we think we know is just plain wrong, and living from sensation and high spiritual vibration is the way? I mean, just think about that one for a moment as I go on… I mean really. Ponder it…

Skin met and I felt the vibration of East Africa inside. Maybe he felt my Native American and African and European roots mesh again… love again. Everything we have ever been came to reunite within. It was a luscious space in which to reside. Happy to be alive to receive ~ We both needed the energy exchange so badly that we allowed it to last until early morning… I had indeed known him before. This was a reunification of souls – so clearly I felt put back together again. How sweet the night, and the love tremors that continued to reverberate in my inner layers all day, even days after this bliss. My smile alone became medicine for anyone who saw me that day… Including my husband and children. Now that ~my love~ is full circle.

I am thankful to Source for always leading me directly into the arms of healers. I am so thankful to actually trust life enough to know that I am only knowing, loving, sensing and flowing in my own divine reflection… I am so thankful for life.

Atlanta – I shall miss you.

JujuMama xoxox

I have to admit it… I have been receiving words from the Universe about my eggs.  This is for you ladies, sisters, DIVAS and friends.  And for the guys, this should explain a lot!  Friday the heavens opened up and told me about myself.  Yeah!  I had an attitude with my husband.  I mean a HUGE attitude and I wasn’t used to it.  I rarely if ever have this type of break down anymore, and I rarely take it out on him, but Friday I did.  Why did I do it?  What is wrong with me?  Not this again, oh no!  Then, in a flash of light, and with the rumble of the sky above, I heard a voice…

Kenya, you are not angry, your eggs are angry!!!  What?  My eggs are angry? OK…. tell me more…

So there it was.  A tidbit of information, in byte size form, for me to chew on as I walked five miles home after popping out of the family SUV at the intersection, calling myself taking revenge on my man.  Granted, at the time I had no idea how much these words would help me in the hours that followed.  I simply analyzed the words for a while… Angry Eggs… hump.

What I suppose the Universe was telling me is MY bad attitude was not MY attitude at all.  It’s the EGGS themselves that are pissed off! LOL!  Stay with me a minute… PMS is real, not just in the sense that masses of women have symptoms of anger, headaches, rage, bloating and so forth…(and sure, diet helps).  But in another, deeper sense,  it is the attitude of the departing Egg, which is ultimately forced to leave “home” during the lunar menses.  These eggs are not only heart broken to not have been successfully pursued by a luscious group of aggressive sperm, but they are angry about it.  Period.

Think of it, each month, another egg must GO!  A woman’s cycle is the exodus of one tiny egg, maybe two – eggs that have been in our bodies all it’s life; from the day we were born and even before that!  These eggs had lived in our ovaries, frolicking with the other eggs, snuggled close at night, hoping to be next in line for life.  Or maybe hiding behind the others as not to be next in line…  But at the onset of female menses, another one has to leave it’s tight knit family and make that journey alone into the unknown.  The lone egg makes a perilous journey down one of the dark, tight, fallopian tubes and into the Uterus.  It wants life, eggs want life – to be fertilized and made whole!

Can you imagine being this egg, begging for love, begging for a man’s seminal fluid, to be set free and made viable!  From the time the tiny egg comes into the tube, we get amazingly, and instantly horny!  That is a powerful little being… yes?  Why, I spoke to a guy just the other day, he said his wife only wants sex one time per month, just days after her cycle is complete.  It is true, many women want men like never before in those 8-10 days after…  For me, this feeling is really off the hook!  That tiny egg, migrating South, brings the summer heat to my root chakra!  It always gets me hot and bothered, makes me seek him out, makes me love him more – Damn he looks good at that time.  And when I do get my luscious hands on a delicious man during this period of time… this tiny egg, microscopic really, makes me hold him ‘in’ even when he tries to pull out.  Tee hee hee… It makes me do crazy things that even I don’t want to do.  I mean, I don’t have time for another little one right now… I am way too busy.  But the darned egg has me high on love!

Then, the morning after, I take a look at the calender… OMG – did I?  Am I?  What day Is this?  OMG!  Luckily I am not.

Days pass, and after the egg has sat and waited and watched and even coerced gigantic human females into reckless sexual abandon,  it STILL hasn’t been fertilized!  That is a bit sad for the lil egg.  This is the plight of our eggs, alone in the darkness of womb, it begins to feel life slipping away, I’d bet.  It now sees that it is not able to attract enough sperm… enough men, enough chances at life… AND all at the right time, for life to commence.  BTW, did you know that a woman can only get pregnant two days out of each month?  Wild!  The life of the human egg!  Amazing.

And so walking home Friday I realized the truth about angry eggs… I felt relief.  The sun was hot, but I wasn’t delusional.  And the information did help me.  Now I know that the Angry Egg is what modern people call PMS and it has a cure beyond over the counter pain killers.  The voices actually told me what the cure is and now I know!  I have to do a short ceremony for the departing egg each month.  Just two minutes to relieve PMS!  I am so happy.  Will try it next time!

I was also happy to know that my rude actions were not truly my actions, but the actions of an entity that we feel may be too small to influence us, but is not – oh surely not!  That angry little egg is upset.  It has to let go of life.  Thus, we ladies begin to hold on to everything – just as the egg tries to hold on to life!  Friday I was seeing stuff from the past, stuff with my parents, stuff with my high school boyfriends.  And for the first time I recognized what was happening.  I realized that all the pain I had ever experienced in life is stored in the womb and ovaries and that the plight of the egg is the plight of that old pain as well…

The purification ceremony is simple.  The cure is simple…

A few days before your period, Honor that Angry Egg.  Men can remind the women to do this or help!  In any way that you can, honor it.  PMS will ease and you will have better cycles.  You will begin to have clear insights about your eggs.  And you will identify with the pain that egg is feeling when it leaves.  But only if you honor that angry, horny, courageous, honory egg!

You think it is YOU… your mind… your hormones.  But I tell you, it is deeper.

Let me know what you think!

Bliss and Light

Kenya K

]]> http://jujumamablog.com/2009/08/31/angry-eggs/feed/ 12 http://jujumamablog.com/2009/08/27/flirting-with-bums/ http://jujumamablog.com/2009/08/27/flirting-with-bums/#comments Thu, 27 Aug 2009 20:37:55 +0000 jujumama http://jujumamablog.com/?p=2705

Wow!  Last night I had a very powerful experience.  The background is simple.  I have a Universal Love in NYC and I miss him.  When I was there this summer for the tour, which he helped me coordinate, we did not have a chance to “get together”.  He is very busy with things in the city, and I am always busy with things for Jujumama.  But that isn’t why we did not “hook up”.  In fact, I was walking on Broadway and 28th looking for a dress for the event when he found me!  Apparently he had called my husband to find out where I was.  He came to the hotel, to surprise me, but I was on the avenue shopping when we literally ran into each other…

He helped me.  As usual, this Universal Love is always helping me.  He hooks me up with the right people,  he cares about my career and about my happiness.  He is so YANG n YUMMY!  So when I exasperatingly expressed that I needed a dress and to have my hair done,  he quickly showed me the places in the Jungle of the NYC streets where I could get everything I needed in a pinch!  And then it was done!  After my hair do, he came back to escort me to the event in his luscious SUV with black tinted windows and smooth rims to match.  I was a lil late, but that’s OK.  giggle…

He tried to do a few things with me, kinky things, that I could not do, would not do because of the show.  I was late and nervous and all of that… and he was going to sweat my hair out!  Damn!  Thinking back,  I should have done some of those kinky things, I should have said YES…  had I done them, I would have been much more relaxed when I arrived!  LOL!  But I said NO, oddly.  I believe this hurt him.  After all, he was only trying to heal me and relax me… all men are trying to heal women when they suggest kinky interludes… don’t ya’ll know that?  Some women get their panties ruffled over small things…  Men seek to remove the panties and thus the stress!

So long story short.  This man is a really good man.  But, he didn’t come to the show because he had business to take care of.  I suppose he could have told me that as a manager, he had to be in the studio with his artists that Friday nights.  But he didn’t.  And so not coming my show was a stike against him. And, I thought he hadn’t called me afterward, when later I found he had, several times.  We were supposed to spend the evening together… but instead I went to bed angry that he “didn’t call me” and did not show up!  Did I call him?  No!  Why not?  Because he didn’t call me!  (Old paradigm foolishness)

The next day he was angry with me… He called me to find out why I ditched him, why I hadn’t picked up the phone when he rang, why my husband hadn’t answered his calls either.  He was hurt and disappointing.  Well, so was I.  But why?  Why was I holding on to the older version of myself… prideful and gaming?  I tried apologizing, but when you’re dealing with someone who is not yet into all of the Mystical Law of Attraction – instant forgiveness, world peace stuff, it takes more than an apology.  And, my behavior became my reflection in him!

Fine, forget him.  I went to 42nd street to have dinner with one of my mothers (I have mothers and lovers in every state!)  He was supposed to pick me up there, but was a no show, I think.  He said he called me and I did not answer… ok Verizon, where is my damned network!?  By the time Sunday rolled in, things had really deteriorated.  I did the show on Serius Radio that he had brokered for me, and I called to tell him that it went well, but he was not hearing me.  He was upset when he slipped in that he had a room at the W for us Friday night.  Oh no!  My favorite hotel!  Man!

So this is the way it ended in July. He called me after that a few times, but his voice was still hurting.  And I did not know what to say besides I am so sorry… Let’s make up.  But he would not budge.

Weeks passed; I wanted him back.  So I decided to use my own teachings.  I knew that I was responsible for creating this with my older, masculine, ways of thinking, a tit for a tat and all of that.  So  I went ultra feminine!  I started to visualize him getting over it, smiling again when he thought of me and us.  And man, did I start flirting!  Loving men in general brings you into harmony with men in general… I did a video on this one, remember?

So that brings me back to last night.  I was at the laundromat as the hotel I am staying at in Atlanta is without one.  I found myself sitting on a bench outside when this street vagrant walks up and begins talking to me through missing teeth and a crooked smile.  He was wearing all green, alcohol on his energy, and bent over from age!  And his friend appeared shortly thereafter, he was wearing yellow!  Yellow and Green are the colors of Oshun, or Venus!  I took it as a sign.  I told myself what I tell all women… You must embrace ALL men to embrace the man (or men) you love.  SO I embraced these street dudes with my voice and my smile.  We talked for hours!  They were so happy to speak with me, and share their stories.

I repeated to them what I feel about all men – WOW – you are so strong, how did you survive that?  You are so wise.  You are so fabulous.  And they were, one had survived a car accident and then lost his wife.  He showed me the scars.  The other had lost his mother at 6 months old and remembered her smile, and her words!  These guys were like, wow!  They were so happy to share and be heard.  I was happy to hear them.

This brought to mind my friend in NYC.  I missed him.  I wondered about his story, I had never asked him to share… but here I was, learning the things that I may not have done so well with him.  He cares about me, did I care about him?  Why was I so angry at him for not coming to the show… why was I so lacking in compassion for him?  Why did I tell him NO so many times that day?  He wanted to kiss – NO – my lipstick.  He wanted to embrace me – NO – the show… I was even upset with him for not paying for my hair-do… OMG!  I need to care about him.  And so I cared even more for these street dudes.

Later in our chat, they actually went to the store and bought me a beer!  Street guys!  The ones who ask for money.  They found money to get me a beer!  And they helped me lug clothing for a family of five back to my SUV, in the pouring rain!  Finally, and with a sweet good bye, I took one of them three blocks back to his home because it stormed in Atlanta last night… It was such a healing experience… They were so nice to me.

As I pulled into the hotel driveway and sat in my car to wait for the rain to end and unpack the clothing, I answered my cell phone to find my NYC Love on the other end.  He called me!  For the first time in three weeks or more, he called me.  And the conversation was lovely.  I asked him about himself and I showed him that I do care about him and his motives, and his dreams, and I told him how wonderful he is, and has been to me.  I thanked him for everything he has done for me…  His voice was back!  He was smiling again on the phone, I could tell.  He gave me what he always gives and gives so well… he gave me his Yang healing force.  And I said YES to everything he insinuated and demonstrated.  It rained on us and we healed our situation… so lusciously…

Feminine magic at it’s very best… That is what JujuMama’s do!  Right ladies?  And gentleman, thank you my dears.  We love you very much!

JujuMama xoxox

Wow – yesterday I wrote a post on my blog – a very personal sharing about my 14th wedding anniversary and how I cried all morning…

Today I got an interesting comment from a reader named “Lovely”.  I thought I’d use the comment to create for you the image of what a Progressive Relationship actually looks like…  Remember – a Progressive Relationship is not just between lovers… we are talking friends, business partners, and family relations… any of these can be made Progressive!

So this comment hit me at the core.  You have been there, right?  Some “lovely” individual says something to you that bugs you – you dismiss it to save face in the moment, but then resent the person for saying that bullshit?  You get upset that the person had the nerve to say it and then you just take that anger and sit on it for a while,  spread it into your Liver, and your Spleen, and your digestion suffers because instead of dealing with the matter in a Progressive way, you are suppressing your anger?  Or maybe not, maybe you share the story with friends in your Amen corner… and they agree – HOW DARE they say that to you!  You should retaliate, giirrll.  LOL!  Old paradigm folly.

Here is the Progressive way to deal with these “lovely” individuals… because they are not ‘out of line’ – they are beautiful reflections of YOU.  In fact, you attracted them to say just what they said…  Taking things personally is old paradigm news.  It’s so easy to get into the new paradigm, it will make you into a better person and it will make your liver, spleen and digestion much happier!

Here is how to do this – I encourage you to try it… and here is how I dealt with the comment from the reader…

The first premise is that we attract our mirror image… ‘We only attract who and what we are…’.  You’d have to agree with this premise in order to have a Progressive Relationship with anyone, including yourself.  If we do not view life in this way, that we are attracting the people who show up in our lives, then we are simply attracting random kooks to us, in random ways that may or may not be ‘fair’ then we must view ourselves as helpless, hopeless victims.  And that we are not.  Being progressive about these matters means that we literally shift our world view to a deep inner KNOWING that we are Creators of our lives, all of our life experiences happen because we called them to grow us…

That is heavy to some, but when we accept this kind of thinking, we actually become the co-creators of our lives that we were meant to be rather than helpless victims in someone else’s story… right or right?  OK so lets proceed.

So here is the comment “lovely” left – and then I will analyze the comment and how I created or attracted it.  Again, it is imperative that we begin to see the beauty in all of our life experiences, and in all the lovely messengers who come to us – and indeed who we have attracted for our greatest good!

LOVELY’s COMMENT: I “get it” it! I love this blog [post],  however I have a question; Was it intended to be focused on Progressive Relationships or the embrace of our sensuality? I appreciate your willingness to be transparent, however I don’t want to be convinced. I also honor that there gets to be a space for those who share. However, it’s starting to become a religion.

What I like about this space is the exploration of sex, sensuality, tantra and The Universal Law. This is not meant to criticize, it’s meant as a request for “balance”. I think you’ve made your point. You’ve asked the right questions. The truth is also that some of us can “intellectually” get amorous loving; but it’s best that not everyone chooses that prior to maturity. The request is to create a space for “both/and” not “either/or”.

See, I “get” your feelings of not wanting to be like your mother. I “get” the tears you shared of “not playing full out” earlier. I get that a woman first and a person who has loved, lost and awakened. In fact, I’ve recently had one myself! So, share your story AND continue to teach principles and include those who don’t “share” or flirt with “sharing” in the conversation, as “real conscious” choice. This discussion to me is beyond sex and sharing, it’s about getting off of automatic, creating our own path and the willingness to not please everyone. Can you receive that?

I posted here because you often joke about the private messages.

Lovely.

So when I read the message my personality (which is not my actual self, recall that human beings are dual creatures, we are Pure Source Energy AND Dynamic -or changeable – Personality in the same body) went ballistic!!!!  I said to myself – what nerve!  This is my blog and a blog is a web log – a public diary of sorts,  a place to document your own life or whatever the hell you choose to document!  I can write whatever I want!  This is my space.  Who the hell is “lovely” to tell me what to write on my own damned blog.  Lovely did not leave the link to her blog!  Blogs are hard work and done for FREE!  Where is lovely’s financial contribution to my 120 posts that I have worked on for the past two years?  Where is Lovely when I work all night to complete a new story?  Where is Lovely who gives me the courage to continue on even in the face of fear!  Please!

I mean, think about it.  I went to wordpress, paid money for the domain, set up the blog, paid people in India to configure the blog, I sit and write for hours on the blog and so I get to share what I want to share!  Who is to say what I write?  Correct?

But then Pure Source Energy – Peace Itself – kicked in and I allowed the comment to take on a new and progressive light.  After all, if I apply my own Progressive Relationship information – a document and model that I crafted with my very own Mac and my very enlightened thoughts, I would have to look at “Lovely” for the lovely person she is.  I created Lovely!  I called her forth from the Universe to share ME with me.  She is my mirror image.  So what is she reflecting about me?  What is the purpose of what most would consider pure folly?

Well, that is simple.

We attract who we attract for three reasons…

1. We attract what we expect based on our past experiences
2. We attract who we are – the parts of us that are unseen to us, we see in others…
3. We attract the traits that we seek to develop in our own characters

So that said.  In this situation, I attracted lovely for all three reasons.  Here they are:

1.  We attract what we expect. I attracted Lovely to come to my blog, tell me not to write what I write about my own life, in the way that I chose, because that is what I have always expected!!  Listen up!  When I first began this blog, I thought to myself.  Who in the hell wants to read my thoughts?  Who is going to actually click to my story and read me and find some value in me… What am I doing?  I am sharing my life!  This is nuts!  People will find fault with me, they will shun me, they will say that my ideas are far fetched and that my notions are not valid.  Blah Blah Blah F.E.A.R – Fals Evidence Appearing Real.  I did not expect to be well received…

Now = 68,000 visitors later, 489 comments later…  I must still have remnants of that expectation… What do I mean “I must?”  I DO!  Lovely is showing me that I do.  This is why I created her… you see that?

Lovely has shown me that in order to attract better, I have to expect better! I have to actually shift my vibration upwards to believe that I can write what I write, in the way that I write, and for the purpose from which I write, in MY way.  I have to EXPECT that others will find it useful and fabulous!  I can expect that this will happen ALL OF THE TIME.  Why not?  But currently, I don’t.  I obviously do not as I am attracting lovely, Lovely who comes to show me that I am not.  That is the real purpose of relationships, right?  To grow.  Grow how?  Grow into a Peaceful Powerful Productive human being on Planet Earth.  So Lovely is helping me.  She is saying without words “see, this is what you expect and I will give it to you – is this what you want, Kenya K?  Oh no?  Well you have to shift that old expectation, DIVA!”

Fabulous!  Yes?  And in this way, and from this vantage point, I actually LOVE Lovely.  I love her because she shows me where I am in my expectations… and what I must do to evolve.  What a blessing!

So you see that?  You can apply this one in your relationships too!  If you have a hard time with it, call me, we’ll talk!

2.  We attract from others a reflection of our shadow selves. The second thing that I must analyze about Lovely is that she represents the shadow part of me… This is a part that may go unseen to my own self.  The Africans say that you cannot see your own ass crack – it takes others to show us our shit.  Tee Hee Hee…  It is clear that Lovely has an issue with what I wrote.  She said it was problematic because the open relationship thing that I do here is annoying to her, or at least overdone.  I need to “balance” out my posts and be sure to make reading enjoyable for all, including those who are not yet “mature” enough for an open relationship.  OK.  So how is this showing me a shadow part of myself?  Good question!

Simple answer.  I too have an issue with certain things – a great many things.  I still have an issue, for instance, with my brothers and sisters who happen to be Caucasian bloggers who talk about ritual as thought they have just discovered it – like Columbus ‘discovered’ America.  They talk about a “cool, new” candle ritual, for instance, as thought Africans and Asians and Native Americans have not done these rituals since the beginning of time.  They talk about Law of Attraction as though it is new and was not practiced by the Dogon, the Aztecs, the Aboriginals – all groups that were deemed heathens in the modern world.

I take issue with them!  And I have no right to…  I can take issue with THAT but not issue with THEM… And I can’t take my issues with THAT out on THEM by trying to make THEM change in order to please me… Now that is Progressive Lurve… FO YA!

So I comment about it when I see it.  Granted, and at this stage of my evolution, I may not comment on the blog in a rude way, because – as a blogger – I now respect the spaces these bloggers create.  It is their space, and so what business do I have commenting negatively, asking them to change so that I can be more pleased?  But what I do is that I comment in my mind, and to my husband and frankly to anyone who will listen about my displeasure with the entire situation.  I get angry that these bloggers don’t “Get It”!  LOL!  They need to “balance” their modern world view with MY world view.  There were people here 30,000 years ago doing just what they do now!  They need to WAKE UP!  Oh – and by the way, I always preference the topic just as lovely did – “no offense but…” or “I love the blog post, however”… LOL!

So OMG.  I am the same as Lovely!  I want people to change so that I can be contented! Lovely has shown me my Lovely reflection.  And again, by doing so, she grows me, if I can receive it.  She ask me, “can you receive this?” and the answer is YES YES YES!  I receive this blissful moment in time, I look within at the drop of a dime, I ring my evolution chime… I receive you girl, I receive you!

3.  We attract people who have developed the traits we need to develop. Finally lovely has shown me a piece of myself that I need to develop.  I am in love with Lovely for this one, I mean really.    Lovely addressed me based on her personal needs.  She has shown me how to speak about needs, personal needs!  She said that she wants a both/and paradigm, she wants balance, she wants tolerance.  This is something that I need to learn to do more… that is, speak of my own personal needs in a clear and determined way.

No, it does not have to come out like venom,  and Lovely’s communication was sweet!  Nw don’t get me wrong…  I don’t have to want caucasian bloggers to show me that they know that Africans were not heathens, but enlightened beings on the planet doing miraculous stuff.  This pet peeve of mine is simply that, a pet peeve, these bloggers do not have to write as I want them to.  However, I do have to know that I have a personal need, similar to Lovely.  That is:  I want truth about indigenous people to be known.  I want the people who first interpreted the Law of Attraction and other Laws of the Universe to be given their due.  I want that!  That is my personal need and desire and it is valid!

Knowing what I want is VERY VERY important and Lovely knows what she wants.  She has shown me how to describe, in living color and with great candor, my own personal needs.  She demonstrated that to me very well in her comment.  Fabulous!  I take the lesson and will do this more and more!

But, back to lesson #2, what I must stop doing is thinking that someone has to change for me to get what I want and need… Those bloggers do not have to change for my personal needs to be taken care of.  Hell, I could simply start a blog called INDIGENOUS GENIUS and list all the various ways that the indigenous people have made a mark in creating metaphysical truths the world over!  YES!  And I could leave lovely, encouraging, comments on those blogger’s pages with links to my IG blog, explaining that they should check it out! OH YES YES YES! I could even support those bloggers by providing cool informaiton about the roots and foundation of the Law of Attraction, whichi sof course in Ancient culture!  That is what I will do!  But I’d have to know my personal needs as well as Lovely knows hers in order to do that, now wouldn’t I?

SO thank you Lovely.  You are just that.  A Lovely lesson, a beautiful person, my creation and my saviour…

And you see, now I can love you sincerely and honestly instead of faking like I was not upset by the comments.  It is ok to get upset as long as real wholistic thought kicks in and we measure our feelings with the scale of Progressive Relating.  In this way, tolerance and true love is born… the kind of love to be shared with all!

Bliss and Light to you!

OMG – just checked my comments.  Another one from Lady Diana.  Same message as above applied.  I love you bright lights!  I love you so much!  Thank you for being YOU…

JujuMama xoxoxo