Wow!I have had a busy two weeks. Do you like this sample of our latest photos? We’re moving to NYC! So we’ve been in ATL for two weeks to close out our living there and get packed for the Big Apple.While there, I had a few awesome experiences. I thought they were valuable and you may enjoy peeping in… giggle.

My fun began the second day that I was back to Atlanta.We were staying at a hotel in Buckhead and there was this cool little Diner nearby.A friend on Twitter told me that my Tweets were featured in RedBook Magazine!So I rushed on over the CVS to pick it up!With book in hand I went to the little Diner to eat and read!

When I walked in there was this amazingly beautiful man standing right there, right in the doorway. He seemed to be the host of the restaurant, but later I found that he was the owner – or at least his parents owned the place…

So he sat me with a smooth grin and proceeded send this powerful energy my way. It was like we knew one another, but not this lifetime. Nope. I had never seen this guy before in my life. But, I flirted back – happily. But was really more interested in my RedBook debut! However, everytime I tried to focus on reading, his vibration would find mine… Have you ever had the feeling that someone is staring at you? It was more powerful than usual… and his presence began to penetrate me, deep. But I kept my cool.I wondered what he was after.Of course he would have good intentions as we only attract who and what we are, and I have good intentions toward people… so I’m safe!

This king – yes, his name, I found out, means king in the Ethiopian language.He is from Ethiopia.Nice.So this king decided that he was going to be my waiter.I don’t know what he did with the lady who was supposed to wait my table, but he got rid of her, I suppose.Each time he came to the table he gave me those eyes… they were wanting eyes… eyes that told my heart to open and to allow.I followed the urge to naturally allow and relaxed in his gaze.

When I completed my meal, which he helped me to choose from the menu, I went outside to have sun on the terrace.Guess who was outside.I swear I had no idea.The King!He was out there with his friends… They were all really lovely, just like him, later I found that these were his cousins.Immediately he asked me to join them.OK. YES.

At the table these men beamed with masculinity.I was feeling a bit heavenly when they started asking me questions about myselfand because my original King had told them that I am a love coach, they wanted to know more about Tantra and Relationships Bliss. OK.So I explained some of my theories and the King went inside to get me a cup of tea.His cousins seemed impressed and we actually sat on that terrace for the next two hours talking. Opps!

Mind you, my husband is back in the hotel room probably thinking – what happened to my wife?I couldn’t take a break to call him? Man! At least now I know what he means when he says that he couldn’t get away to call me.Wow, I am learning so much about life these days.He is serious when he gives me that “old excuse?” OMG!Now I see that he can’t take a break, like I could not this day. So all past drama is forgiven.(Right ladies?)

So anyways, it was time to go.We had romanced one another with talk for so long that I could not take it anymore.I either needed to go home with my king and his beautiful cousins and make sweet, heavenly, love in the afternoon sun or return directly to my lovely hubby to explain the time lapse. There was no in between at this point.

We took a few pics together before I left (his camera).He held my waist, during the posing… Ohhhwait – I almost lost my original train of thought.Jeeezzzz… Ladies, do you know what I’m talking about? Have you ever had that right kinda waist hold that makes you want to just go ahead and moan… when done well, it makes you want to shriek out loud, where ever you are – with joy… but you don’t. I was loving those posses and the sultry afternoon sun only helped to intensify my growing HOT desire for this king. Is this natural? Or is this the feeling mother told me to shun? Oh noooo – this is natural baby.

So with an energetic tug – I pulled away from that matrix of hot desire and headed for the street.

The craziest thing happened when I got to the corner!On the street I stood across from the little diner when this black Lexus car pulled past me only to stop fast on the brakes!This man with locks screams out the window – HAY!I’m thinking – is he talking to me?HAY – come here beauty – OMG!So I go over to him (I’m on the ten day flirting challenge too – I have to submit!) and again, we only attract who and what we are… so I obliged. We are all ONE BEING…

This man is beautiful!He has amazing locks.His car is clean. He told me that he had to stop. I asked him why? He said something about my dress, my skin, the sun, I dun know… So he asks me what I was doing.I look back to see if my king is watching, you know how men are, one king might get upset if another is trying to push up. SO old paradigm, right?But he was not there and this new boy is here, and he is trying to convince me to go to Piedmont Park with him for a game of Frisbee.(frisbee?)

So you know what I did?I said YES! I popped into his car and we were off!Now wait a minute, I got into the car of a “strange guy” – YES!I don’t believe in “strange guys” if I am not a strange gal then I cannot attract a strange guy… right? It may be odd to you, but it is simple universal law to me. The Universe has my back!

SO there I was at Piedmont park after talking to this boy in the car for the ten minute ride.He is a gem!He is so fabulous and intelligent.He is a grad student in physical therapy, and guess who he is playing Frisbee with ?An entire group of like networked Atlanteans who are, literally, the cities finest.They get together and play Organized Frisbee each Thursday.Can you imagine that?

So finally I called my hubby and let him know what happened to me.I asked him to come to the park with the kids to meet my new friends.We all had an amazing evening!My lovely darling who had introduced me to organized Frisbee with Atlanta’s professional crowd asked me to please hook him up with someone I knew. Guess what he told me!???? You won’t believe it. He said that like attracts like, so I must have more friends who are similar in vibration! OMG! He knew all about that sort of thing!He wants a woman to hang with sometimes… any takers?LOL!

So a few days later I was still thinking about my East African friend when he texts me!

“Let’s get together – want to see you again”. YUM! I mean – YES!

I met my sweetie at Caribou Coffee in Buckhead.He promised me a movie and dinner, but because I had a LIVE conference call that night I was late and by the time I got to him, it was 11:00 PM.So we skipped the movie and he served me dinner at his place.We started watching a movie at his place, but I only wanted to watch the full moon at his place…

His gorgeous place was prime location for moon gazing – I asked if we could turn off the TV and gaze.YES.

So we lay on separate couches… talking and moon gazing. We had pretty deep discussion… Often on dates, men want to have a session about life issues because I am a life coach.I try to avoid it, but it happens all the time. Men are less prone to just come on in for a consult with JujuMama… They like to take the back door. LOL!

So to ease this sweet King, and take him away from his “troubles” I took him into a guided meditation…

I guided him intoa place of peace with my words. Of course we traveled through time and I allowed him to see the future. Any of us can travel to the past or future to make changes in our lives. He was really relaxed and receptive by the time we returned to the moment.And so of course, he returned the favor…He looked like he was in tears. He asked for and needed hugs. So we began an intense round of connecting with bodies… I faintly recall his hands on my waist again… Recall the original feeling that signaled my need for this connection, back at the restaurant that day…Its baaaccckkk.

BTW – I am starting to get a new sense of the world. What if our bodies are really telling us what our spirits want to say… you know, that we need healing… what if when we have the goose bumps, or feel an electric tingle when we catch the eye of another beautiful human being on Planet Earth – that it’s Source speaking in tongues to our hearts making us long for what we actually need – organically? What if it isn’t lust, or base passion at all? What if everything we think we know is just plain wrong, and living from sensation and high spiritual vibration is the way? I mean, just think about that one for a moment as I go on… I mean really. Ponder it…

Skin met and I felt the vibration of East Africa inside. Maybe he felt my Native American and African and European roots mesh again… love again. Everything we have ever been came to reunite within. It was a luscious space in which to reside. Happy to be alive to receive ~ We both needed the energy exchange so badly that we allowed it to last until early morning… I had indeed known him before. This was a reunification of souls – so clearly I felt put back together again. How sweet the night, and the love tremors that continued to reverberate in my inner layers all day, even days after this bliss. My smile alone became medicine for anyone who saw me that day… Including my husband and children. Now that ~my love~ is full circle.

I am thankful to Source for always leading me directly into the arms of healers. I am so thankful to actually trust life enough to know that I am only knowing, loving, sensing and flowing in my own divine reflection… I am so thankful for life.

Atlanta – I shall miss you.

JujuMama xoxox

Wow!  Last night I had a very powerful experience.  The background is simple.  I have a Universal Love in NYC and I miss him.  When I was there this summer for the tour, which he helped me coordinate, we did not have a chance to “get together”.  He is very busy with things in the city, and I am always busy with things for Jujumama.  But that isn’t why we did not “hook up”.  In fact, I was walking on Broadway and 28th looking for a dress for the event when he found me!  Apparently he had called my husband to find out where I was.  He came to the hotel, to surprise me, but I was on the avenue shopping when we literally ran into each other…

He helped me.  As usual, this Universal Love is always helping me.  He hooks me up with the right people,  he cares about my career and about my happiness.  He is so YANG n YUMMY!  So when I exasperatingly expressed that I needed a dress and to have my hair done,  he quickly showed me the places in the Jungle of the NYC streets where I could get everything I needed in a pinch!  And then it was done!  After my hair do, he came back to escort me to the event in his luscious SUV with black tinted windows and smooth rims to match.  I was a lil late, but that’s OK.  giggle…

He tried to do a few things with me, kinky things, that I could not do, would not do because of the show.  I was late and nervous and all of that… and he was going to sweat my hair out!  Damn!  Thinking back,  I should have done some of those kinky things, I should have said YES…  had I done them, I would have been much more relaxed when I arrived!  LOL!  But I said NO, oddly.  I believe this hurt him.  After all, he was only trying to heal me and relax me… all men are trying to heal women when they suggest kinky interludes… don’t ya’ll know that?  Some women get their panties ruffled over small things…  Men seek to remove the panties and thus the stress!

So long story short.  This man is a really good man.  But, he didn’t come to the show because he had business to take care of.  I suppose he could have told me that as a manager, he had to be in the studio with his artists that Friday nights.  But he didn’t.  And so not coming my show was a stike against him. And, I thought he hadn’t called me afterward, when later I found he had, several times.  We were supposed to spend the evening together… but instead I went to bed angry that he “didn’t call me” and did not show up!  Did I call him?  No!  Why not?  Because he didn’t call me!  (Old paradigm foolishness)

The next day he was angry with me… He called me to find out why I ditched him, why I hadn’t picked up the phone when he rang, why my husband hadn’t answered his calls either.  He was hurt and disappointing.  Well, so was I.  But why?  Why was I holding on to the older version of myself… prideful and gaming?  I tried apologizing, but when you’re dealing with someone who is not yet into all of the Mystical Law of Attraction – instant forgiveness, world peace stuff, it takes more than an apology.  And, my behavior became my reflection in him!

Fine, forget him.  I went to 42nd street to have dinner with one of my mothers (I have mothers and lovers in every state!)  He was supposed to pick me up there, but was a no show, I think.  He said he called me and I did not answer… ok Verizon, where is my damned network!?  By the time Sunday rolled in, things had really deteriorated.  I did the show on Serius Radio that he had brokered for me, and I called to tell him that it went well, but he was not hearing me.  He was upset when he slipped in that he had a room at the W for us Friday night.  Oh no!  My favorite hotel!  Man!

So this is the way it ended in July. He called me after that a few times, but his voice was still hurting.  And I did not know what to say besides I am so sorry… Let’s make up.  But he would not budge.

Weeks passed; I wanted him back.  So I decided to use my own teachings.  I knew that I was responsible for creating this with my older, masculine, ways of thinking, a tit for a tat and all of that.  So  I went ultra feminine!  I started to visualize him getting over it, smiling again when he thought of me and us.  And man, did I start flirting!  Loving men in general brings you into harmony with men in general… I did a video on this one, remember?

So that brings me back to last night.  I was at the laundromat as the hotel I am staying at in Atlanta is without one.  I found myself sitting on a bench outside when this street vagrant walks up and begins talking to me through missing teeth and a crooked smile.  He was wearing all green, alcohol on his energy, and bent over from age!  And his friend appeared shortly thereafter, he was wearing yellow!  Yellow and Green are the colors of Oshun, or Venus!  I took it as a sign.  I told myself what I tell all women… You must embrace ALL men to embrace the man (or men) you love.  SO I embraced these street dudes with my voice and my smile.  We talked for hours!  They were so happy to speak with me, and share their stories.

I repeated to them what I feel about all men – WOW – you are so strong, how did you survive that?  You are so wise.  You are so fabulous.  And they were, one had survived a car accident and then lost his wife.  He showed me the scars.  The other had lost his mother at 6 months old and remembered her smile, and her words!  These guys were like, wow!  They were so happy to share and be heard.  I was happy to hear them.

This brought to mind my friend in NYC.  I missed him.  I wondered about his story, I had never asked him to share… but here I was, learning the things that I may not have done so well with him.  He cares about me, did I care about him?  Why was I so angry at him for not coming to the show… why was I so lacking in compassion for him?  Why did I tell him NO so many times that day?  He wanted to kiss – NO – my lipstick.  He wanted to embrace me – NO – the show… I was even upset with him for not paying for my hair-do… OMG!  I need to care about him.  And so I cared even more for these street dudes.

Later in our chat, they actually went to the store and bought me a beer!  Street guys!  The ones who ask for money.  They found money to get me a beer!  And they helped me lug clothing for a family of five back to my SUV, in the pouring rain!  Finally, and with a sweet good bye, I took one of them three blocks back to his home because it stormed in Atlanta last night… It was such a healing experience… They were so nice to me.

As I pulled into the hotel driveway and sat in my car to wait for the rain to end and unpack the clothing, I answered my cell phone to find my NYC Love on the other end.  He called me!  For the first time in three weeks or more, he called me.  And the conversation was lovely.  I asked him about himself and I showed him that I do care about him and his motives, and his dreams, and I told him how wonderful he is, and has been to me.  I thanked him for everything he has done for me…  His voice was back!  He was smiling again on the phone, I could tell.  He gave me what he always gives and gives so well… he gave me his Yang healing force.  And I said YES to everything he insinuated and demonstrated.  It rained on us and we healed our situation… so lusciously…

Feminine magic at it’s very best… That is what JujuMama’s do!  Right ladies?  And gentleman, thank you my dears.  We love you very much!

JujuMama xoxox

Monday was my 14th wedding anniversary and I cried all freaking morning… I cried because I felt old – too old to do what I thought I wanted to do when I was younger, which is to grow up to be my mother.  I felt, frankly, like I had a choice at this junction – to be her or to be me…  I felt old because I was being just like her on the morning of my anniversary – somehow – I was thinking like, looking like and being like my mother… just all of a sudden!  OMG.  It was really eerie.  There were, literally, two me’s living in my body that morning and it was like the real me had to choose to let her go forever…

Here mom is in blue and dad is in the man in grey…  These are my sisters with me…as well. My brother didn’t make this shot.

I mena, bless her heart!  I love my mother so much.  She is awesome.  When I was young, I wanted to literally BE her!  But now at 35 – I have my own path and it is so different from my mom’s path, so very different.  And that made me sad on my 14th wedding anniversary.  I am moving on…  Leaving an entire paradigm behind and, inherently, my mother’s persona too.

I started giving up that dream of becoming her in my 20s when I was initiated as a Kemetic Preistess.  I knew I had to be something new.  That hurt.  So birthing the authentic me – celebrating my progressive, open, relationship at the age of 35 made me feel nostalgic.  When I looked in the mirror that morning, thought about my husband, thought of my children (three just like she had)  – I saw my MOTHER!  She was all in my head and I heard her voice… no I wasn’t high on peyote.  It was the very last sub-conscious vestige of my mother living in me…

My mom is awesome.  She rocks!  Don’t get me wrong.. But human beings evolve from generation to generation and from time to time…

I have gone on my own path.  I have become my own woman and I – unlike her, unlike something she would be willing to do in this lifetime – share my man! You know our parents almost flipped when they heard about our progressive lifestyle.  They had raised us – had paid the 20,000 for our wedding – had put us through college on cash, to have a NORMAL life – and now this!  Both our sets of parents are fairly affluent, “sensible” people.  Conservative even…

So while closing my eyes on the sights and sounds of my mother fighting to remain a part of my blueprint – I thought about sharing. Sure – I share my man now.  I share him?  Yes, and I share myself too!  I do?  Yes, sweet heart you have chosen.  And so I was thinking on sharing…  I share all of me with the world now.

Image from an Article on Polyamory from the NY Times

So, while crying my eyes out, I had this epiphany… I thought – damn.  You share him, he shares you – who else shares – is there a sharing blueprint on the planet that I can reference… Inner file cabinet swings open – OMG – as clear as day – here it is:

The Universe made EVERYTHING – yes, literally EVERYTHING ON THE PLANET to be shared!

It hit me like a train!  Everything?  YES, everything!

Check it out.  Look at the Sun and the Moon.  I home school my kids and the other day they were like, can everyone on Earth see the sun and moon just as I can?  YES!  Even the criminals and the murderers can share the sunlight.  Yes they can- we all share the heat and the love and the light/life of the sun and moon.  Crops – are to be shared, animals (if you eat that or ride that or wear that) are to be shared – natural things are made to be shared!  What crop only grows one corn – what tree grows only one fruit?  It was literally made to be shared – a tree – a stalk of corns – what about water – sky – Earth – soil – stars – shade – minerals – waterfalls – grass – everything made of the Universe itself is sharable…

Natives of this land knew that.  And we think they were demolished because of such folly.  But here they are, cutting your grass, cooking your food, cleaning your hotel rooms.  Those sacred people are back – full force!  And you have to learn their Spanish.  LOL!  Hay – nothing is lost.  Energy is neither created or destroyed… Death is an illusion.

But So what!  Damn.  I am still not like my mother.  I wanted to grow up to be she – and I’m too old to do it = I have learned too much, seen too much, progressed, mother.  This Progressive Share Paradigm is my real conscious choice.

God dammit!  How does this help… that the Universe is as sharing as I?  So what?

Well, Kenya, my darling, you are then made in the likeness of the Universe itself – you are saying yes to ONENESS – yes to Sharing – yes to being shared like the green billowing grasses, like the moon, sun, oceans, rivers, waterfalls – you are such a sumptuous waterfall, Kenya.   Sparkle baby!  You are sharing even the story of the journey, my love, and my griot.  You are sharing your sacred self, sweet as honey.  You even share this vision with your mother…  you are evolving her.  You are made in the likeness of Source itself and you show it!  Kudos Kenya.  Dry your tears luv.  You cannot be what she was and is and will be… you will be what you are and who you will be, you are like me, in time all will see… that you and your sharing are as natural as the spring rains – which we all share – which bring the spring flowers – which we all share – we can all smell the scent of moist roses – feel the love of those beautiful roses.  You, Kenya, are the beautiful rose.  Share my Queen – continue to share… share him, share you and share the story… no matter what – be ONE like me and share…

Yes.  I will share…  Reduced to pure divinity by these statements I heard from the inside of me… Smiling from deep within… Sweet Wankantanka thank you – Namaste – With purpose and integrity, I share.

“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.” ~Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.

Here is a dedication to my luscious husband and my precious mother for our anniversary…
I love you…both

Cheers!

JujuMama xoxoxo

Man oh Man!  I am so excited!  I just realized that I (Yes, lil ole ME!!) want a boyfriend in every city I visit!  You guys know I am on tour – LOL!  I desire a luscious man, at least one, in everywhere I travel… And why not?  I have NYC and ATL covered, and Charlotte was good, DC was aight… but you know…  That’s only four of the twelve cities I visited this summer. I mean, I know I just accepted this new “open” life of mine, and you know I left the world of monogamy kicking and screaming.  But giiirrrlll, once you go ‘Universal Love’ – you never come back to the personal ownership drama.  Sorry folks to burst the Puritan bubble.  I have to just tell you the truth!  It’s good to know that I can explore my sacred sensuality and divine ONENESS with ALL in new ways and with luscious men all the while…

So I’m on my way back to Atlanta and I’m thinking – wow!  I have two dates lined up there, just waiting for me to come on in… As well, I always have my delicious husband to keep me company.  But having my choice of 3 billion men is thrilling.  Why didn’t I see this before?  I feel like everything I need, desire, whatever healing I crave is mine for the choosing.  And you know I believe that women are the choosers.  Check my post on this very topic here! But if you want to know the truth about how I feel right now – I am in the grip of strong desire… sometimes just to talk, or to be held, or to share my YIN energy with the world… you name it ~ It is my natural, healthy, desire…!

Here is the major issue I am having. It is between my husband and I, or rather, it is something I am learning from my hubby.  His relationships seem so deep and rich and full of spiraling bliss… mine are more sporadic and infrequent. Maybe I work too much… Argh.  But really I think I must be opening final doorways to freedom where he was already there… This tells me that I have spiritual work to do!  First I have to know what I want as well as he does.  He knows EXACTLY what he wants… always has.  SO I decided to write a post that will define what I want in my relationships.  I have to redefine it now that I have an expanded relationship… YUMMY!  Right?  This is a first try – so tell me what you think.

Here is what I really want: I intend to create mystical magical love affairs that serve the purpose of adding quantities of high quality healing bliss to my life.  I want men who understand and respect the fact that Yin and Yang together can create anything.  I want men who will plant their seeds in me – seeds of beauty, seeds of desire, seeds of inspiration – I will make those desires grow until they manifest!  And my kings will see the power of the love we create…

I desire men who know their role in my life.  I desire Tantra Men; Men who give.  I am open to receiving you.  Men who want to see me soar and men who can soar from the catalytic YIN moisture I provide.  I want to be a YIN provider… a soft place to land… I want my Kings to know the purpose of our relationship, the value of the union of souls, the power of the escalating chi we create, the simmering Kundalini, the vitality we make and share.

I want men who take care of themselves mentally, men who are intellectual, men who are leaders, monks, negotiators, and warriors.  I want my men to want me to succeed and make tangible efforts on my behalf, and in the world, as I make equal and opposite efforts on their behalf in the ethereal plane. .. I want my men to get that… love that, need that – Adore that.  I want to adore my men.

I want to allow my “neediness” unfold.  (Oh hell yes I am needy.  I need to see my reflection so that I know who I am!)  I want my men to feel needed by me.  I do need men and women too for that matter – Interdependence….  And I need each one for different reasons.  I want my Kings to understand that my need for one is not a negation of my need for another.  I want them to understand that there is no pecking order, but that there is only love – abundant love, never ending love, enough to go around.  The world is made of love.

I want men who are free.  I want men who want to explore the inner plains and let our combined and individual manifestations appear in the outer plains.  I want metaphysical men, men who get dat.  I want them to allow me my ceremonies, my ritual, my angels, my oracles, allow me to be my magical self; they should get dat.  I definitely get them.  I want men who love the fact that I receive them… I relieve them… I believe in them and thus our powerful magic is recycled forever…

Practically, I want them to whisk me away from my very busy life, away from the work and the kids and the life of a celebrity.  I want them to make love to me and then let me nap on the clouds… I want them to play music for me and buy me dinner, breakfast and then fruits like cherries (my favorite) but organic ones, with fresh juice and Fiji Water…  I feel the need to be cared for.  I feel the need to have strong, protective arms about my being… securing me.  I receive this.  Ummmm… yes.

And I want to nurture men.  I want them to allow me to appreciate them, I want them to know that I am as serious as life itself when I say – honey – you make my life a living heaven.  You make my day, man!  You are hilarious.  You make me laugh.  You are an incredible, respectable, luscious, and kingly, man.   I honor every cell in your body.  I honor every thought in your head.  You ROCK!

I want my men to understand my family dynamic.  Respect and love my husband with me, respect and adore my kids with me.  I want men who have ‘open’ women.  Who wants a man with no women?  I want to know their women.  I want to respect their women.  I want to empower their women and their relationships so that they always have what they need, even in my absence.

I want communal men, men who know how to have a cigar with my other men, men who know how to share a beer with my husband.  Men who do yoga, tai chi (yum!) Capoeira, corporate, marketing, chi kung kinda men!  I want diplomatic men, men who are about business, men who are not attached to old ideas, and useless mores.  And I LOVE a techie!  Give me men who know how to hook my nine websites up!  Give me men who know that I have to be online at 10 AM each morning and let them watch me tweet, watch me work, and let me be.  Let them know that I work and let that be OK with them.

I want men who free me up!  Men who adore my freedom and know that my love for them is not something they own, but something they share.  I want calls, I want men checking on me, concerned about my well-being, sending money, love, food, resources of all kinds to make me comfortable.  I receive this… yes!

That is the type of men I attract.  I attract whole men being as whole as I am.  I attract my mirrors, so I know there will be challenges.  The purpose of all relationships is growth.  Let my men get that and work with me through the challenges and let us see the other side of each, and celebrate growth and progress.  Give me men like this in every state so that when I tour, I see them, they greet me, they show up, they adore me and our mission…

I know I have this situation,  right now – out there – waiting for me.  I am ready to be that kind of YIN Goddess, I am ready to nurture you and make your seeds sprout.  Lets make magic together.  I am now taking applications!  As are so many Kweens that I know…

LOL!

For real though.

JujuMama xoxoxox

Living an authentic life. What does that mean? Everyday I rise and think of how I can grow and be better and yet sometimes I don’t know if some of the things I want to do symbolize growth or deterioration. Despite my best efforts to rise above it I am still confronted with the realities of living in a society that is riddled with lines drawn in the sand and limitations.  The male/yang dominated ideas of womanhood and goodness. These ideas follow me when I pass the kitchen and have no desire to cook, they follow me when I yearn in the night for a lovers touch.

I question the sanctity of my body and my choices to share or not share. The arbitrary definitions of words such as mother, wife, lover, friend, partner, sister….. I wish to define these things for myself. Yet I vacillate because I don’t want to address the question marks in the eyes of those who have known me till today. I think most of us, at least I do, want to live a life free of shame and guilt. I want to know that the love and affection I feel with and for others is not dependent on my adherence to the status quo.

What if I choose to love with reckless abandon? Does that make me less worthy of a life long partnership with someone who can accept me fully. How do I live life for all that its worth, experiencing all that my heart has the capacity to hold, and not suffer the consequences of getting out of line with the communal expectation? Were not all trail blazers somewhat ostracized? I mean Einstein, GW Carver, and others were all considered different. People didn’t always get it when they shared their process and the way they saw the world…

We honor and celebrate these trailblazers and yet somehow we seek and find comfort in conformity. I do to…to a degree. But now that conformity is starting to chafe. It keeps me up at night, wondering. Wondering if I’m living the safe way or the way I want to live. Why do I make the choices I make? Sometimes I fear the disapproval of those that I say I love,….and then I wonder,…If I love them and apparently I expect that they love me…then where does this fear come from.

I see that I have not fully accepted myself as much as I have accepted other peoples version of me. I was raised to be pious even if its only for show and for the benefit of others. I was taught that to live authneticly was to risk the lose of all that I held dear. At the base of many of my conflicts is how to interact in relationships. How much love is love before it becomes foolishness and un-neccisary risk?

Toward the end of my marriage I had been pushed out of my comfort zone so much that I felt that there were no limits to what I would do for my husband. I expressed to him that it was not necessary for us to separate and divorce in order for him to pursue all that he wanted out of life. I was to afraid to say tho, that I didn’t care if he wanted other women. I wasn’t sure if this person that I loved would understand what I ment. I didn’t think he would get it. I used to tell him that marriage was a partnership with someone who agreed to witness your life unfolding and hold the mirror so you could see it yourself. I wanted to say to him that you can do what ever you like and I will still love you. But I was too unsure of this side of myself. I had been told that what I did to honor our partnership was crazy. That it was too much. That….”girl he’s not worth it”…And I think he believed it too. After all we were both pressured and shaped by this societies ideas. So….it came to an end and a new beginning.

The funny thing is we still had to work out our differences. We have children. And have come to a point where we realize that we love each other. Not the cloying, confining, demanding, angry, volitile, emotionally holding hostage, kind of love, but the kind of love that allows us to be who we are without condemnation. And I know this was only a step in my development. Now I say….How far do I go with this love thing. What exactly does it look like for me.

Which again raises a question about sexuality. Now, I don’t think I will fully master my own energy until I clarify for myself, how I will deal with this simple fact of my existence. The ownership issue is really a challenge for me. I don’t want to love one man cause it is demanded of me. Or even because I want everyone else to believe that I am “good”… a good person, good wife, good lover etc. I want to love one man….or 2…or 3… or however many I want to because I want to. Just cause I choose. But how many brothers can hold this bird in an open palm. Allowing me to fly away and return because home is where all of me is allowed and nurtured. Are there brothas out there who can live the life they have asked their women to live for many many generations.

It is no big deal for a woman to accept her man back, or to actually remain and never leave through long term affairs and even second families. Its common in our community for a woman to know that her man is seeing someone else on the the side and even to know who the woman is and it not cause this otherwise “good man” to lose the things and people that he holds dear. How many of you could live the same life? I’m not defending unhealthy agreements in which people live in misery. I am seeking to find my own definition of love and life, to define for myself what I want and to commit to it in a way that allows the universe to take me seriously.

I consider myself to be a desirable woman both internally and externally and I have options for who and how I date a man. Some of them seem to see in me a quest for freedom and demand upfront that they not be required to share. I was puzzled by these demands until a friend of mine shared that they are reflecting to me my own fence straddling. That once I make a commitment I will no longer attract these types of men. So I reflected on the other options. There are those who are a bit more open to individual pursuit but still demand a level of allegiance fostered by fear and intimmidation and then there are those who are totally open to this way of being but are unable to share it with their own life long partner and so set the stage for drama when it is “found out”. And yet there are others who get the total package and I am afraid of what that journey might require. Or I might say that there is excitement. Could this brotha really understand my need for freedom? Could he love me and care for me while keeping his hand open. I certainly hope so.

I am finding that internal compatibility out weights all else. To know that I can look into his face and say I need healing, to say I am unsure, to say help me, to say I will help you, to say we can learn together, to say we can learn apart, to say …… is more and more my dream come true.

I have thought of having the ideal life. All settled in to a one man show. I have thought of having a typical family where “my man” is in fact …Mine. But I’ve been there and done that. And I felt like the prisoner and the warden all at the same time. So I am learning what it means to be free and to allow that to others. Even those who will judge me harshly. To know that its ok for them to withdraw or come closer and to have the confidence to offer my explanations with peace, calm, sincerity and love or to offer no explanation at all.

By Suruma Phillips

So ladies.  Let’s talk.  Whats all this I hear about low libido women?  When I walk on the streets certain people know who I am and maybe they read my blog.  They tell me that I am a brave woman for having an open relationship.  But they ask me one question or make one simple statement: “I don’t like sex that much.  I don’t even feel like having sex with the one man I have”.  OK?

What’s up with that?

For some, this is a statement of validation.  I am female, I don’t like sex.  A credo of sorts that is simply old news in my book.  For others this is a statement of defeat.  I just don’t get into that… But for me – I am hearing something deeper in the voices of women everywhere who have come to me with this situation – low libido…

In my opinion libido is a measure of vitality. If one has high desire for life, passion for life, high energy, then one has a healthy libido.  And I am not saying this just because I have a healthy libido.  Don’t get me wrong, for years I wanted lots of sex, but it wasn’t because I was healthy, it was because I was craving male attention in unhealthy ways.  My high school years were spent this way.  As was the first five or six years of my marriage.  I didn’t want sacred, spiritual, sensual, bliss, I wanted a man to like my body, like the feelings I gave him, like ME!

Once I switched and learned the real purpose, power and meaning of sensual bliss, my approach changed and I was finally not craving intimacy due to feeling a lack of male energy.  (Many women who grow up without a father or with a father who was less than affectionate have this issue – it’s OK – call me – lets work that out!)

So once I switched, sensual bliss was not a misfitted craving, but more a desire to connect, not even to a man, but to God itself.  Do you feel me?  Ummmoist, I get all giddy just thinking about the next time I can go to heaven in the arms of a man… LOL!

Anyway.

I think that there are five reasons as to the rampant low libido rally in women.

First, I believe in the Universal Law of Use.  Women are simply not acclimated to using their sensual energy. Like anything else, if we have a muscle, for instance, that we do not use, it withers and erodes from the inside.  Women have not been able to become fully conscious of their sensual selves at this point in history.  Education is lacking, but scare tactics are not.  Women learn about the fact that they must not get pregnant or have sex prior to marriage.  Women learn that they are at risk, they may contract illnesses if they have sex.  So guilt sets in and the sexual function is shut down.  It is not used.  Thus, it erodes from the inside.  And it registered as low libido when it is something far more specific going on…

Second, women are not taught to understand that sensual energy is creative force. Often women become obese, for instance, when the obesity is stemming from built up and unused CHI!  Here is what I mean.  And this ties into the law of use… Women have shut down the sensual function due to guilt so it erodes.  As it erodes, there is CHI going to waste.  All the CHI that would normally be used to make love and while doing so, create the lives we desire.  (We create life during sex by visualizing the end results we crave.)  If this CHI were doing what it was supposed to do, women might not have issues with weight.  The weight, I feel, is a metaphysical indicator of stagnate CHI!  Some of the CHI is sexual CHI built up over the course of a lifetime…

Third, I feel that women have not been taught to adore their ability to have babies. Women, from an early age, desire children.  However, this society demands that women be men and go to college, get a job, create a career, put child rearing aside. (See my video Why I Say No for more on this) Unfortunately, the best years for child bearing are ages 14 – 24.  No modern women in her right mind would feel that this age is appropriate, but that is not due to natural thought, that is due to conditioned thought.  So women want to have children, but must shut off the function.  This leads to low libido simply based on deep depression about not being READY or ABLE to have children when desired.  This can also register as obesity…

Fourth,  even married women who have sex as an option daily do not get into the energy as much as we should.  Why?  Well, it is the same reason men become impotent.  Women, in my humble opinion, get just as bored with sex with the same man for years and years as men do. However, due to a modern viewpoint that most have accepted, (women are monogamous by nature) we ignore this boredom and try new things like making love at a hotel with our men, adding spice with toys and negligees, so forth.  These things work for the moment, but they do not satisfy the deep desire to have more healers, more love, and more variety.  This is a little known and little talked about reality.  Just ask any married woman, if she is able to tell you the truth, she will.  If not, she is simply trying to hush the natural desire to experience bliss on a regular basis… bottom line.  I would say that this is true for 60% or more married women.  What do you think?  Either way, this unfulfilled longing leads to low libido.  Why?  Because there is a sub-conscious depression happening at a deep state that is being suppressed.  Women, instead, take uppers and Valium to calm the urges… Or read romance novels that only serve to heighten the desire yet the desire is usually unfulfilled.

Finally, I believe that women have low libido due to a sense of self that is a bit warped. This ties into the prior issues with a deep desire for more love.  Women think that good sex is only for those with a 14 year old boy body, or a blond white woman, or a pron star.  Some women believe that they are simply not sexy enough to have good sexual energy with a man.  This is a shame because women of all shapes, sizes and hair color are desirable to men!  Men LOVE women.  However, if a woman is constantly complaining of her weight, lacking confidence in herself and insisting that she is not beautiful enough, she will attract more and more experience that validate her belief.  Then, she will fall into a depression about her lack of sex appeal.  When all the while all she had to do was shift here energy and know that she is desirable.  This cannot come from an outside source, it has to come from within.

As an attachment to the fifth reason, I also believe that women do not undersand sexual energy. Most women feel like they are giving some arse to a man when in actuality, we are receiving some arse from a man. (click for an article on this topic) This is a very important concept.  Women, in general, are angry at men, so why would we want to give him some?  No way.  But we lose the anger and we open sensually and realize that a man is giving something to us during sex!  Sure he receives something vicatioursly through our pleasure, but he is the giver in that operation!  We have to get this!  WOmen have to become receivers during sex and in life genreally.  If we learn to receive, we would also not be so tired all of the time.  We are too busy giving or thinking of ourselves as givers, when we are actually receptors.  We are on the planet to receive.  Let the man gives, it is what he is on Earth to do!  And, he loves to give you pleaseure!  Trust me!

So for these 5.5 reasons, I think women have low libido.  In all actuality, women can easily turn this around.  In fact, I will be doing some workshops on femininity beginning in August to address some of these and provide fun solutions!  However, there is one more thing.  I think I will call this the Virgin Mary Syndrome. Some women just feel it’s sorta cute to have low libido, they feel, maybe, that they are somehow pious or pure when they proclaim it!  “oh I don’t really like all that sex stuff”.  Its almost as if they are stating that they don’t do drugs or that they do not drink alcohol.  What they may not realize is that sexual energy is the doorway to spiritual enlightenment, one of the doorways at least.  I have seen this sort of thing in many spiritual communities, especially Christian and Islamic based faiths.  IT is really a bit senseless, if you think about it.

Sex creates life. So how could this be an ungodly act?  Sexual energy can create anything, and when it is used to forward one’s spiritual growth and development, it can be heaven on Earth!  So don’t give me that low libido excuse. Lets move past the fear into an actualization of femininity like the world has never seen!

You know I got your back!

It’s Jujumama xoxoxox

I love you

“I found god in myself and loved her. I loved her fiercely.”— Ntosake Shanghe

Ummmm.  Yes!  I am outside at Caribou, it’s 1:00 AM and I am loving Atlanta!  I have a few juicy secrets for you…  I have a few new lovers and I am totally blissed about it.  LOL!  I have an itch to have you know me.  I want you to know me so that you might know yourself even better…  That is why I blog.

So since I last wrote about my personal life I was there on the swing with my hubby at Peidmont Park wondering why I was so freaking angry. Since that serious growth point, I have been more myself.  I have expanded my feminine horizons and enjoyed sweet love taking me higher, onward, to the blissful heights we were all meant to soar…

So I have a lover, right, his name is not what I want to share.  His energy is.  His energy is so strong that the first time we shared love, I could not move.  I mean, I was literally paralyzed by his magical spirit.  His light touched the deepness parts of my outer womb.  I felt as though I would faint, or gag, or be lifted into a bliss I had never before known, what would that be like? I could not take a risk, would I lose my mind with joy?  Many women have issues allowing pleasure when it comes… It took me four hours to open to it…  I had to move slowly not to pass out, my mind fiddled with our connection, between the voice and breath… where had I known him before… I had to have known this awesome soul once before…

Usually I can see where I have known a man, a woman, a child.  I see past lives all of the time.  But this time, this space, this bliss was way overloading my psych.  I could not see it!  I kept calling to him – “I know you, where do I know you from?”  He didn’t know what I was talking about.  That was OK.  The norm.  But damn!  I wanted to know and the Universe would not and has not yet shown me!

So we made a deep and powerful magic that night.  So powerful, in fact, that I have craved him daily for the past four weeks.  I met him on my YES YES YES night. I met him in a club of all places and he was on my mind for weeks as we texted back and forth.  For literally months we texted and enjoyed the distance until one day I could not stand it anymore.

Now this boy is not the most handsome man in the world, except to the eye that beholds the light of the soul.  You see, I could see and can see and do feel and do know his soul.   What I see is purity and love and giving and strength.  He doesn’t see it.  In fact, after that first brilliant night, he kept asking me, “why does a beautiful and sensuous woman with a beautiful husband and a beautiful family want ME?”  Can you believe it?  Magic maker is asking me “Why Me”?????  So I try to tell him and he can’t understand.

This boy is a dealer of things.  He sells things… He may think, and I actually do think that he thinks that I may want him only because of his things.  He is a dealer of goods that my babies enjoy like Wii or LapTops and such.  YUMMY – I love entrepreneurs.  But that is not why I want to be with him.  He can’t see that….

So here is the mirror and here is the challenge.  This man is now pushing me away because he can’t understand why I want him.  Why would JujuMama, the DIVA, the GODDESS want the likes of this slight, slim, older man?

How can he not get it?   Does he know the power of his healing light?  Did he see me almost pass out that night?

How could he not see his own beauty?  I’ll tell you why…  He is mirroring me.  He is showing me what it looks like to not acknowledge self, the talents of self.  He is showing me that I too doubt myself, why would anyone want to read me, know me, come to counsel with me?  ME!!!??  And I had to and have to look at it straight in the face.  I mean, damn, does this man know what type of magic he really has?  I too sometimes doubt my clearly evident magic.  Everyone sees my Juju except me at times, and I do what he does, push back…  But NO MORE!  He has made me see it.  And THIS, THIS, THIS my friends is the only purpose of relationships!  We look into the mirror of self.

YUMMY

Moving on, I will tell you about another of my luscious men.  He is a Kappa, like my husband.  He and my hubby have loads in common.  This weekend  we finally got to spend some time…  Do you know what this man did?  You know ima tell you!  LOL!

He texted me, right, and he says he has prepared a spa night for me.  What?  He is going to cook on the grill and feed me with a fork, he is going to massage me and play Sade for me, whom I remind him of, and whom I am in love with! [ Oh yes, I can be in love with a woman if I damned well please! ]  He is going to give me anything I want.  If I want a bath, if I desire a kiss, if I need a hug, If I just need to be held, whatever I want.  That is what he wants to give…

OK.

So I’m like YES.  Saturday.  YES!  So when he picked me up I wanted him to stop in and meet the kids and hubby, but it was too late because some handsome white boy had made me a strong drink at the pool and I fell asleep behind that and was just damned late!  LOL!  But he did stop in the AM to meet my king!

The night was a magical carpet ride of aroma and sights and sounds.  His house was like – immaculate!  He was a servant to my Yin, he made me the focus of his energy and effort.  The man was grilling, fixing drinks, playing music, lighting incense and candles and it was very delicious to watch and enjoy.  He told me that most women do not respect his desire to serve a woman.  I promptly told him that he had finally met a woman who could appreciate all a dis!  Loving it, I watched and could not believe the sense of satisfaction I felt to see him GIVE… luscious!

The evening swirled in mystical clouds away from me, into me…  I found myself swooped into the arms of this X – NFL player – the arms of a God – and the energy of heaven streaming directly into my heart.  To say that the romance was hot is a serious understatement, but there are not words that can describe the depth to which he loved me that night.  His feelings emptied my soul and made me hollow for being filled with his healing – more I begged – more he offered.  Empty I made myself his subject.  Innocent I accepted all gifts.  Blissed I unwound beyond the stress of the day… Peaceful and humbled my respect for the creator, which made this moment, soared…  Synergizing my desire with actual reality – I finally realized that I created this.  And there I was, alas, spellbound…

Love and Light to you, my king.

So some say, damn girl, what are you going to do about “protection” with all this wood in your Earth… To that I say this, and this is funny.  I tell all the men I make love with that I am VERY VERY fertile and that I LOVE babies.  I tell them that if I get pregnant I will definitely have the baby, not only will I have the baby but my husband and I will raise it as our own!  The men look at me like, is this B for real?  And I answer that silent thought with a loud YES reiterating my desire for more and more babies, always more babies.  I tell them how I want to nurse again, how I want to nurse for years and years without stopping and that my hubby won’t get me pregnant anymore…. LOL!  These guys RUN for a condom, do you hear me?  I mean they RUN!  LOL!

Try it ladies.  I do need “protection” because I actually am very fertile, but that’s because I am very, very orgasmic… finally.

Which leads me to the response I get when I experience orgasm after blissful orgasm with my kings.  Ummmmoist just thinking about it.  I allow them to please me and I get under their energy to receive what they are giving.  All the time!  All the time I am the woman following and flowing with the gifts that kings give.  All the time you can find me flowing hollowly like a leaf on the wind waiting for the next breeze to blow me further than ever before – blow me to heaven kings!  YES!  And the response is ALWAYS that they enjoy seeing me fly.  All men want is for women to soar!

So that is kinda it.  I do have one sweet lover whom I truly find intriguing.  However, he is in NYC and I am here and he has not come forth with the plan, so I await thee, king.  I await the unfolding of destiny, another man for me to see my mirror in, another king to challenge me to my next level of divine self-hood, another lover to enjoy and another person to energize me as I become an even better wife to my hubby who loves me like the nursing kittens love the milky cat, and I love him.  OMG!  Thanks for freeing me to know myself more than I ever had known I wanted to know her…

Again…

“I found god in myself and loved her. I loved her fiercely.”— Ntosake Shanghe

Juju xoxoxox

So I have loads of people asking me this question.  I mean the emails are off the hook!  Why don’t you lovely people leave comments instead of these private emails?  That’s the first way I know you may not be ready.  Ready for what, you say?  Ready for Universal Love, ready for the New Paradigm relationship, ready for expansion, luscious, sweet, delicious expansion!

OK – so you know by now if you have spent any time on this blog, that my husband and I have an open relationship.  Now you also know that I fought it for a long time until I surrendered to myself, my truest self, my most lovely, divine, feminine self!  And now?  Well, now I am enjoying the bliss of love at new levels.  I need to share some stories, maybe I will.  Have been to busy to give the juicy details of my love life.  WOW!  That’s all I can really say…

But the emails I get are people asking me how do they know if their relationship is ready for the open thing.  I caution them, most relationships are not ready.  Here is a little ole checklist of attributes that I would say serve as prerequisites for this type of love… expanded and blissful love.  Now mind you, some relationships will never be ready and that too is OK.  This is not for everyone, but what is?  LOL!

OK – so here is the list.  Whether you are in a marriage or a committed relationship or single, the list still applies…

You know that you are ready for an open relationship if and only if:

1.  You have a spiritual practice that brings you peace in the face of any adversity. IE you view life as a series of challenges, luscious challenges that will grow you.  You are well aware that life is a journey and that people change and that your mate as well as yourself will always change.  Mostly, you are not looking for a static existence, a stasis of sorts that some might consider stagnation.

2.  You are fully cognizant that you create your life. The blame game is dead.  You are the author and star in your own show.  No one is doing anything to you.  You are not a victim in your life.  You are the victor!

3.  You are sexually progressive and guilt-free. In other words, you are not caught up in the six year old mentality of sex in America.  You are fully aware that sex is sacred.  You know that sensual energy is nothing to play with.  Lust is not something that you follow, rather, you realize that your sensual energy toward another person is a calling for deep healing.  You follow your impulse if and only if you have used your intuition to determine the purpose of the union.

4.  You are not concerned with what others may think of you. The open relationship is a lifestyle that is not the norm in the good ole USA.  You will face criticism from others if you are critical of yourself (you will always and only attract who and what you are – so if others criticize you, you too are in judgement of your own actions ALWAYS).

5.  You are a leader at heart. There are no set rules to this lifestyle  Indeed, you and your mate have to determine your own protocols.  This will require your management skills, diplomacy, and discipline.  You and your mate will not agree on every facet of this at all times.  You will have to compromise and use your spiritual skills to find middle ground.  This is very important.  If you are used to following the pre-cut mold of modern society, you will not be able to create your own rules.

6.  You need to know your gender role. Whether you are male of female, you have to understand Yin and Yang.  You cannot be outside of your role and accomplish this properly.  You will have to work with loads of individuals and there will need to be proper yin and yang in place in those relationships.  If you are masculine as a woman, you will create serious issues in your relationships.  If you are feminine as a man, you will not have what it takes to make ONE relationship work let alone various relationships.

7.  You have to transcend jealousy and replace it with compersion. Compersion is a term that means a desire to see your mate happy, even if it is with another human being.  This is a tough one, for men and women.  Often, we think we can handle it, but when the _____ hits the fan, we are upset and disappointed.  We may become passive aggressive with our primary mates once he or she actually DOES IT with another person.  This will not work for long in an open relationship.

8.  You have to be fully committed to your primary mate. You primary mate or spouse would be fully clear that you are fully committed to him or her, that means that no one else will be able to come along and steal you away from that primary situation.  How does one make this happen?  That is where the Yin and Yang come in.  Men have to be in a masculine role and women must be feminine Without a strong foundation where both individuals are very pleased with the relationship there will be failure in Openness.  An open relationship is not for the purpose of fixing your BAD relationship.   Here is what I mean…

9.  You are willing to examine yourself and exercise personal growth. You will experience a series of emotions in an open relationship.  You have to be willing to develop yourself personally.  You will be tested and pushed to the limit!  YES!  I can tell you for sure!  You wil have to be willing to look at your own responses and examine those emotions based on your own need to change rather than your partner’s need to change.  Once you change, the situation will clear up, even if your partner is “misbehaving” you will be able to shift his or her behavior with your own change…

10.  You have to understand the true purpose of relationships. Relationships are not for the purpose of romance and good feelings, relationships are all about personal growth and development.  If you don’t get that you will be looking for love int he streets or in your primary marriage rather than finding the luscious lessons you are learning from each individual you may work with on an intimate level.  And yes, I said work.  Relationships are work whether you are in a primary relationship or open.  Do not open your relationship if you have not realized that you are with your spouse not to be in love every day of your life, but to continually stretch yourself beyond your own current boundaries.  You will always see flaws in your mate – why?  Because you are looking at your own reflection.  You have to be willing to know this so that all of your relationships have clear purpose.  He or she is not there to make you happy.  He or she is there to show you yourself and make you know yourself even more intimately.

Well, that’s it! This could take years of development.  This is a spiritual journey.  This is not a joke or a fad.  Sex outside of your primary relationship is not simply sex.  It comes along with responsibility.  I hope this helps…

What do you darlings think!?  LOL!

Muah! xoxoxoxox

It’s JujuMama

[Thanks to enlightened beings on the inner plains - we have a new contributing writer! Queen Pandora is the mother of six beautiful children and the wife of a luscious king living in Lousiana.  Enjoy the beauty of her experiences as she manifests sexy on a daily basis!  Yes, mothers can do dat do dat do do dat dat dat... Authors, DIVAS, we welcome your stories of sexy, progressive, relationships BLISS!  Get published on JujuMama - send your story to mail@jujumama.com - Muah!]

I just gave birth to my wonderful son about six weeks ago.  During the healing process I have done what I think most women should do I told my husband that he needed to find himself a young lady or I would find him a young lady that he could be intimate with so that his sexual apetitite could be fulfilled….

Now, this is not the first time that this has been done in our relationship both my husband and I are swingers, him being a straight male and me being a bisexual female.  How did this all begin?  After the birth of my first child,  I found that it was increasingly necessary that I tell my husband about my need for more sexual stimulation.  So we began to visit some swing sites online and he said that he wanted to have another woman in the bed.  I was so excited!

Finally I could really be myself!  So I told my husband that I am actually bisexual and I love not just the act of being with another woman but the art of femininity! ( I will explain in an upcoming article).  He was thrilled saying that he could be finally be himself as well.  Thus, we explored our first threesome!

She was awesome chocolate silky skin, a friend of his, and just plain sexy.  It took her a minute to warm up to me knowing that she would be sexed up by my man in my prescence but she not only came through but we found that this was going to be one of a healing journey as well.  We had dinner and some great drinks and it was a nite of so much passion and fun I could not believe it.  Seeing another woman make the same sounds and have the same expressions of passion on her face as I did when he did that made me tingle and tingle and tingle.. Whew!

This was just the beginning.

We found ourselves now planning to have Play Time as we call it.  This became part of a needed ritual and not just that but it added to our sex in bed as well because we truly released ourselves to be free.  My husband always says, ” If you’re freaky that’s ok,,, just be free.”  Trust me this has become his motto.  We are now having Play Time with the kids away on the weekends and this is just the best thing ever and so now to the present.

I found that during this journey that I have truly come into the knowledge that I want my husband to be happy in being himself.  So for these six weeks this beautiful young lady a friend of mine has been here fulfilling the needs of hubby on any scale and mine as well ;o).. but it has not been a thing of just sexual entertainment but spiritual upliftment..No pent up hubby who can’t be talked and no pent up mommy who can’t get dinner cooked for the kids.  It definitely has been six weeks to recovery.

Love and Freedom,

Queen Pandora

I work around the clock as CEO, CFO, Marketing Director, Blogger, Mother, Wet Nurse, Wife, Energy Healer, Tantrica,  Manager of 5 Virtual Assistants, Book Distributor, Twitter Queen, Lover, Event Coordinator, Motivational Speaker, Web Developer, Friend, Counselor, PR Director, Publicist, Brand Manager, Laundry Maid, and of course Goddess/DIVA.

So I was like REALLY in need last night. Do ya’ll feel me? LOL!

I have been for the past few days in need of a REAL session.  I desire to be more than loved, I desire to be worshiped!

Now, before you call me blasphemous, hear me out.  Human beings – all of us, I dare say – need to be worshiped from time to time.

This entails another human being (or two – whatever ;~) adoring and adorning your body, mind and soul, sending healing vibrations into your soul, speaking strings of kind words into your heart, acknowledging you, sensually, and in every way!  Often we think we need to have a main lover or serious partner to do this.  But that is old school, old paradigm thought!

LOVE HEALS!  How often do you get it in?  LOL!  Here is how it works…

Worship is the basis of Tantra! When my husband and I first began the practice, we were instructed to do this exercise:

1. Each partner make a list of favorite things, music, color, food, so forth plus HOW you desire to be worshiped.
2. Choose two days per week to worship.  One partner is worshiped on one day, the other partner on the next.
3. Prepare for the session by obtaining your partners favorite things and setting the ambiance.
4. Worship your partner for four hours on his or her day!  Speak the words and do the actions they need to heal.

YUMMY!  When we started to make time for this type of practice a few years back, our intimacy soared.  The session is not simply about sex, it’s all about sensual energy!   Worship means giving the other partner what they desire most and solely; giving what they actually need.  We were instructed to ask one another if it is OK to do this, or that, right there in the session!  We were instructed to be present and feel what the person may desire!  We were instructed to speak positive words about the other.  It is advised that the man go first and worship his Queen as this will set the stage of his giving energy and allow her to receive.  This is really cool, especially for married couples.  Takes love to another level!

So last night I desired this type of worship session, needing a refuel.  Hubby and I have not made time to do this with one another lately ~ although we always make time for sex – LOL!  I did not want to ask him to do one more thing, we have SOOOO much to do daily.  I wanted Man Hands on my body and Man Energy telling me all about my beauty and feeding my highest light!  YUM!

So I told my husband what I desired.  The first thing he asked me is if I wanted him to do the work.  I thought about this and I let my authentic self answer, I am not afraid to be real anymore.  That took work!  “Honey, I don’t want you to do it, in fact, I want to give this to you,  but I cannot right now.  I need to be replenished and so do you, is there someone who can do this for you tonight?”  He, of course, said yes and quickly texted a friend of his.

You see, human beings are not islands.  And COUPLES are not islands. We need others to help us along our path.  That is the New Paradigm, right?  We are all connected and need Universal Love to fuel us to our highest heights!  I envisioned receiving the energy of a man who may work, but comes home alone, no kids to raise, no companies to run, a guy who has some spare energy just sitting around in his soul.  And I am so glad I was authentic enough to share this with my husband.  I can do that now that I am FREE!

So hubby left merrily with a kiss and I invited a friend, a Reiki Master and energy healer that we both feel comfortable with.  My husband actually called a friend of his who might be willing to do this for me, but to no avail.  I had expressed that I wanted two men to enact that powerful, spiritual force of healing light upon me, but I settled for one.  LOL! My husband was being helpful.

Anyway,  the friend arrived at about 10:30 PM – Fabulous!  The children and dogs were sleeping.  I lit a candle, and then some sage to purify the space and my energy as well as his.  He had his bag of essential oils, Jasmine, he said, would do the trick!  I ran a bath and he promptly began to work on me.  He asked if he could bathe the Goddess.  YES!

Fully clothed, he bathed my Eve Clad body in the light of night candles and Pandora Bliss.  I LOVE www.pandora.com !  I go there to simply put in one of my favorite meditation songs and they play all types of great and similar songs all night long!

With the tunes of Indian chants swirling in my mind, I opened to closing my mouth and receiving his hands.  It was the first warm night in Atlanta and so my windows were wide open.  I saw him draw the blinds and thought for a moment to tell him to leave them open when I recalled the act of receiving is about submission.  I would give him no instruction tonight.

Earlier in my text I told him clearly what I desired and the rest would be up to him.  I told him that sex would be way too much energy output, I told him that the evening had to be all about me, and my need for touch healing.  He agreed to that one caveat and we proceeded in love.

Fully clothed, he ran his luscious hands touching every aspect of my soul level energy making me clean with his thoughts of good intention.  He spoke to me of my purpose and he wiped old energy away from my auric field.  I felt the lights glowing, my body quaked with JOY as he shed the old and opened me to what is new, powerful and NOW.

I am lucky to have energy healers as close friends, but all men have this power in their hearts and hands.

After two full hours of being rubbed, touched, moved and completely settled, I moaned and erupted with wave after wave of bliss.  In a prior me, I would have been thinking, “well, what is he going to GET, besides blue balls?”  I used to feel like I was a tease to enjoy Man Hands without giving him something in return.  That is before I knew that for a man, having a woman in this way is all he desires.  He desires to enact his light and electricity upon us and to have us respond with bliss, to appreciate him, is acknowledgment and pleasure enough!

I loved each moment and visualized – or was transported to new places.  Once I was on a barge going down a river in India with four men rowing the vessel.  In the middle of the barge was me as Yin and a healing man as Yang and were were there in the center wrapped in JOY!  I realized the the four men rowing symbolized the four directions and in the center is harmony!  WOW!

Another time Pandora gave me a woman singing this awesome chant, bold, robust and taking me eagerly with her to the center of my being – I saw all that is to come and all that has ever been.  He held the space, grounding me as I soared!  So many vision, I cannot even recall them all.  Seems our session unfolded in phases – visual chips of memories I needed to see releasing me from who I think I am and making me wholly present in that which I truly am – Eternal – Moist – Feminine – Divine – Sacred…

I cannot tell you how rejuvenated I felt once the session wound down four hours later.  The time was 2:00 AM and we found our way back to the planet to hug goodbye.  I wanted his Adam Clad body to stay.  His body felt like heaven to mine.  The Platonic aspect of our friendship was not hampered.  It was by choice that we ended the session to return to the idea of friendship.

He was so pleased with himself and I made that possible by telling him all about the journeys he had conjured.  It is important for us to do that for one another.  For many men, all they truly need to feel acknowledged is our sweet voice singing praises of their power.  I told this man exactly what he did for me last night; he can now experience his power more fully.

Acknowledgment is more important than FOOD to human beings on Planet Earth!

So I say all of this to say that at any point and when you are ready, especially if you are single, you can make any platonic relationship into a healing den of bliss.  And why not?  We are all in need of love.  Do you know that it is a scientific fact that love heals cancer, diabetes, heart disease and so much more!  YES!  Check this article!

There will come a day when the need for Western Medicine – allopathic medicine – will not be so wide-spread.  It will happen on the day when we realize that we are all healers and that touch is not to be shunned, but is the essence of our internal medicine flame.  Humanity healed, embraced, and love power fully acknowledged at last!

Happy Friday!

Written By:  Kenya K AKA JujuMama  ~~~~

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