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Posts Tagged ‘cheating’
Wooooooow! As you know the Equinox happened Friday evening, March 20. Many cultures take this time to give something up or fast such as in Lint and Ramadan. I too decided to give something up. I am giving up the word NO as a first response. Period. So my ritual was simple. I was told by Source to go out ALONE into the world on a Friday Night and say YES to life. YES, say YES to life. See that I can trust the Universe to protect me. A spiritual practice…
Here is an image of me as I prepared for that evening. I purchased a special dress for this occasion. Spirit told me to wear white, so I bought a sassy white sweater dress from Banana Republic. I did not think a Lapa would quite do the trick. LOL! It is totally possible to do a private fasting ritual in a public place and look hot while doing it! OK? Yes We Can.
My husband literally dropped me off downtown at 10:00 PM. I was alone. He took me to the Four Seasons Hotel where I would start my evening at the Celebrity Chocolate Affair. This was really fun! My work? My ritual? My Mantra? YES YES YES. I did this ritual from 10:00 Friday – 5:00 AM Saturday Morning. The results? Amazing!
The first objective I wanted to achieve in doing this is to prove to myself that I trust my very favorite Universal Law: We Only Attract Who and What We Are – Each person we attract is there for a purpose – to evolve us.
You see, I had been having a problem trusting the people who walk into my life when I know full and darned well that if I trust this basic Universal premise, then I have nothing at all to worry about in terms of who I meet. I am meeting myself every time. I am meeting like vibration.
Maybe you too struggle with trust issues that stem from a lack of faith in Universal Order and then a lack of trust for even yourself (been there) both of which lead to lack of trust in others.
So to go out into the world, ALONE, on a Friday Night with no car, no plans, no companions and looking like dis was quite a ritual. I would simply BE in places, SEE what comes, WATCH who comes and OBSERVE my own ability to say YES to it all. Why not? Why not say yes to all the Me’s I meet? Why not? Why not? (my nervous energy has me stuttering)
I knew I would be challenged, but I am committed to being a YES girl. YES to life at last! Yes We Can.
Check out my wild and sexy and hilarious Equinox adventure!
So a few weeks ago I posted an article about a Cheating man. First off, ‘cheating’ is a stupid word. I mean WTF does that mean? Cheating implies that we are playing a game in the first place. Games are just that! Relationships are not games. Come on!
Let us address the article and comments…
So in summary, this man was talking about how he ‘cheats’ on his wife and will never stop, end of story. He said that he never wanted to be married or domesticated and that this woman had simply leashed him to conform to societal norms as a bi-product of her need to control.
He had gone along willingly because he truly loves his woman and wants to see her happy. And do not get him wrong, he too is ‘happy’. A devoted family man, and provider, but he desires moments ‘out’. It helps him feel OK with things. He thinks it is only fair and that she never has to know…
Read this man’s initial post here…
Come back when you are done to check theses reader comments.
Damia Said:
Its good to hear this from the “horses mouth.” I believe his point of view is very common. I was not upset by it because I sometimes feel the same way. However, being a woman of child bearing years, I still desire the “support” and “security” of a marriage in which to have children. Does having this mean I alienate the man I love or who loves me? Perhaps there should be an annual review or something to determine whether the relationship is still serving our needs. Not sure, just a few thoughts…
JujuMama: I agree Damia! To desire support and security is normal for women. Men love to provide this, but what does security have to do with his penis? Uh Oh – Yes, I went there. Many women have been trained since youth to desire a man love ONLY us. Conditioned by lots of foolish tales called Soap Operas, Sit-Coms, and so forth, this has always been a sticky point - releasing the need to control.
I found in marriage that security and support flow when I allow my man to lead. Women cannot expect men to secure a Independent Minded Diva! LOL! For our first 11 years together, I was boss! Many women do not receive a leading man very well. At year 12 I gave up my female penis and gave him back the pants. Talk about alienation, my man was on the verge of going nuts by the time I was done with him. “Secure me baby, but follow my damned orders…” Confusing.
Once I surrendered, I thought he was going to feel better about the relationship and he did. However, he also began to find more interest in women! What?! I was pissed off! I thought that allowing him to lead would look getting my way and just allowing him to think he is the boss. When he began leading us based on what he considered to be our best interest, I flipped! Now what does this have to do with a Cheating man?
Dig it…It seems odd that women want a sensitive, homebody of a man and a Gangsta Lovah wrapped into one! Not that it does not exist, but…The harder the man, the more women he will attract – point blank period!
I am a black man and a cheater. Not all the time, just every now and then. The itch comes to me, and no matter what my wife does, I still can’t help but want another woman. At least for a night, or two, or three.
I love my wife very much. No woman I’ve ever met or will meet will hold a more important place in my life. I also love my kids, our house, my job and the fish in my daughter’s room. I love everything about my life at home, even though my relationship has become dull and rocky. But while I love having a strong black family, I also love being a man, and there is a part of me that just can’t handle monogamy.
I see alot of misinformation in Essence and other black women’s magazines about men and what we want. It’s silly to me, because women don’t know a thing about us. At the same time, they spend all their time talking about us. They always think they have us figured out, that we can be changed, and that they can come up with some magic formula that will control us and make us want to give them all the blissful matrimony they are seeking.
They couldn’t be more wrong.
