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Posts Tagged ‘divorce’
We cannot serve our purpose when anchored to a prevailing mindset that does not serve our purpose ~ J.S. Perkins
Wow – so last night was interesting. I had a couple to counsel whom are on the verge of divorce. I love these two human beings, they are both so wonderful. However, like most of us, they are unwilling to go beyond their comfort zones. She is unwilling to even consider a reconciliation because she is so angry and hurt. I do not know what he is unwilling to do. So far he has been willing to do just about anything I suggest, maybe his unwillingness was in the relationship – he was passive aggressive and had done loads of covert things to her that she is now fed up with… She called it manipulation.
And it ain’t just them, it’s so many couples going through similar issues. Years and years of built up emotion, unresolved and unsettled stuff just looming in the minds of both partners… I think it is imperative that we get these things out on the table. I do it through a process I call the Three Way Mirror. Now to just get her to come along and participate…
So here we go again A wonderful thing, LOVE, unevenly distributed in the course of modern history between Special Love and Universal Love. It’s time to balance the scales. So what am I talking about, right? What is the difference between Universal Love and Special Love. This article will explain all of it and even give you ideas on how to balance these energies in your life.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBAqYCBGP_o]
The real question is, why does this matter? So what if Modern Societies are polarized in Special Love? Well, the issue with this lack of balance will become clear to you once you understand the difference between the two types of love.
I am a black man and a cheater. Not all the time, just every now and then. The itch comes to me, and no matter what my wife does, I still can’t help but want another woman. At least for a night, or two, or three.
I love my wife very much. No woman I’ve ever met or will meet will hold a more important place in my life. I also love my kids, our house, my job and the fish in my daughter’s room. I love everything about my life at home, even though my relationship has become dull and rocky. But while I love having a strong black family, I also love being a man, and there is a part of me that just can’t handle monogamy.
I see alot of misinformation in Essence and other black women’s magazines about men and what we want. It’s silly to me, because women don’t know a thing about us. At the same time, they spend all their time talking about us. They always think they have us figured out, that we can be changed, and that they can come up with some magic formula that will control us and make us want to give them all the blissful matrimony they are seeking.
They couldn’t be more wrong.
So here is a wild story that happened fairly recently. This may help you get to the root of some of your own relationship woes. I love it when I find the root to my relationship issues. This is the real work of relationships.
That man or that woman is providing you the PERFECT opportunity to see who you are! He or she is showing you everyday with his or her actions. When you see something you do not like, try to recall this blog post…LOL!
This is my Daddy in the picture to the right. I love my Daddy. Fortunately for me, he was there in the house with us from my birth to the present. I do not live at home, obviously, but I know Daddy is there with Mom and they have been a couple for 36 years and counting.
Cool – so what’s the problem?
Well, recently my husband and I have been having a few physical battles. Sure, this was the norm early in our marriage, but I was the one starting the physical trouble.
I willed myself to put down the boxing gloves and shot for a more favorable solution to my issues with him.
Sounds good right? Well, apparently I did not get deep enough…
I recently had a vision of my Daddy spanking me in the night when I would wake up and cry for no apparent reason. My Mom would ask him to come in and ‘deal with me’ so that the family could sleep. My Daddy, being a wonderful partner to my Mom, would follow suit. He would come into the room and deal with me, usually giving me a few light pats on the thigh to warn me that he was not going to tolerate my waking up at night and crying aloud for no reason at all.
Sounds fairly normal, right?
But what happened after the mild spanks is the core of my physical issues in marriage…
Ya Runnin and Ya Runnin and Ya Runnin Away…Ya Runnin and Ya Runnin
But You Can’t Run Away From Yourself…
-Bob Marley
That really sums up my topic! Where are you running to? Where are going to go? Away from that crazy arse man, that crazy arse woman!? LOL! Child please…
End Foolish Break Ups | 2009 - JujuMama’s latest Mission! I can’t stand it, it really is interesting to see so many people, sane people, smart people, damned geniuses running from relationships that don’t seem to be working out. What the hell does that mean? “It just isn’t working out”…
Oh don’t look at me that way. I hear you. It’s not working out...I know. I’m not coming down on you…I’m not being uppity, I have been there before. I can not judge you for taking the path of least resistance….
But I won’t hold my tounge – the sh-t is foolish – flat out.
Damn! I thought I had a wider grasp on useful vocabulary – but it fails me now. Here’s Why, check it out…
