Wow!I have had a busy two weeks. Do you like this sample of our latest photos? We’re moving to NYC! So we’ve been in ATL for two weeks to close out our living there and get packed for the Big Apple.While there, I had a few awesome experiences. I thought they were valuable and you may enjoy peeping in… giggle.

My fun began the second day that I was back to Atlanta.We were staying at a hotel in Buckhead and there was this cool little Diner nearby.A friend on Twitter told me that my Tweets were featured in RedBook Magazine!So I rushed on over the CVS to pick it up!With book in hand I went to the little Diner to eat and read!

When I walked in there was this amazingly beautiful man standing right there, right in the doorway. He seemed to be the host of the restaurant, but later I found that he was the owner – or at least his parents owned the place…

So he sat me with a smooth grin and proceeded send this powerful energy my way. It was like we knew one another, but not this lifetime. Nope. I had never seen this guy before in my life. But, I flirted back – happily. But was really more interested in my RedBook debut! However, everytime I tried to focus on reading, his vibration would find mine… Have you ever had the feeling that someone is staring at you? It was more powerful than usual… and his presence began to penetrate me, deep. But I kept my cool.I wondered what he was after.Of course he would have good intentions as we only attract who and what we are, and I have good intentions toward people… so I’m safe!

This king – yes, his name, I found out, means king in the Ethiopian language.He is from Ethiopia.Nice.So this king decided that he was going to be my waiter.I don’t know what he did with the lady who was supposed to wait my table, but he got rid of her, I suppose.Each time he came to the table he gave me those eyes… they were wanting eyes… eyes that told my heart to open and to allow.I followed the urge to naturally allow and relaxed in his gaze.

When I completed my meal, which he helped me to choose from the menu, I went outside to have sun on the terrace.Guess who was outside.I swear I had no idea.The King!He was out there with his friends… They were all really lovely, just like him, later I found that these were his cousins.Immediately he asked me to join them.OK. YES.

At the table these men beamed with masculinity.I was feeling a bit heavenly when they started asking me questions about myselfand because my original King had told them that I am a love coach, they wanted to know more about Tantra and Relationships Bliss. OK.So I explained some of my theories and the King went inside to get me a cup of tea.His cousins seemed impressed and we actually sat on that terrace for the next two hours talking. Opps!

Mind you, my husband is back in the hotel room probably thinking – what happened to my wife?I couldn’t take a break to call him? Man! At least now I know what he means when he says that he couldn’t get away to call me.Wow, I am learning so much about life these days.He is serious when he gives me that “old excuse?” OMG!Now I see that he can’t take a break, like I could not this day. So all past drama is forgiven.(Right ladies?)

So anyways, it was time to go.We had romanced one another with talk for so long that I could not take it anymore.I either needed to go home with my king and his beautiful cousins and make sweet, heavenly, love in the afternoon sun or return directly to my lovely hubby to explain the time lapse. There was no in between at this point.

We took a few pics together before I left (his camera).He held my waist, during the posing… Ohhhwait – I almost lost my original train of thought.Jeeezzzz… Ladies, do you know what I’m talking about? Have you ever had that right kinda waist hold that makes you want to just go ahead and moan… when done well, it makes you want to shriek out loud, where ever you are – with joy… but you don’t. I was loving those posses and the sultry afternoon sun only helped to intensify my growing HOT desire for this king. Is this natural? Or is this the feeling mother told me to shun? Oh noooo – this is natural baby.

So with an energetic tug – I pulled away from that matrix of hot desire and headed for the street.

The craziest thing happened when I got to the corner!On the street I stood across from the little diner when this black Lexus car pulled past me only to stop fast on the brakes!This man with locks screams out the window – HAY!I’m thinking – is he talking to me?HAY – come here beauty – OMG!So I go over to him (I’m on the ten day flirting challenge too – I have to submit!) and again, we only attract who and what we are… so I obliged. We are all ONE BEING…

This man is beautiful!He has amazing locks.His car is clean. He told me that he had to stop. I asked him why? He said something about my dress, my skin, the sun, I dun know… So he asks me what I was doing.I look back to see if my king is watching, you know how men are, one king might get upset if another is trying to push up. SO old paradigm, right?But he was not there and this new boy is here, and he is trying to convince me to go to Piedmont Park with him for a game of Frisbee.(frisbee?)

So you know what I did?I said YES! I popped into his car and we were off!Now wait a minute, I got into the car of a “strange guy” – YES!I don’t believe in “strange guys” if I am not a strange gal then I cannot attract a strange guy… right? It may be odd to you, but it is simple universal law to me. The Universe has my back!

SO there I was at Piedmont park after talking to this boy in the car for the ten minute ride.He is a gem!He is so fabulous and intelligent.He is a grad student in physical therapy, and guess who he is playing Frisbee with ?An entire group of like networked Atlanteans who are, literally, the cities finest.They get together and play Organized Frisbee each Thursday.Can you imagine that?

So finally I called my hubby and let him know what happened to me.I asked him to come to the park with the kids to meet my new friends.We all had an amazing evening!My lovely darling who had introduced me to organized Frisbee with Atlanta’s professional crowd asked me to please hook him up with someone I knew. Guess what he told me!???? You won’t believe it. He said that like attracts like, so I must have more friends who are similar in vibration! OMG! He knew all about that sort of thing!He wants a woman to hang with sometimes… any takers?LOL!

So a few days later I was still thinking about my East African friend when he texts me!

“Let’s get together – want to see you again”. YUM! I mean – YES!

I met my sweetie at Caribou Coffee in Buckhead.He promised me a movie and dinner, but because I had a LIVE conference call that night I was late and by the time I got to him, it was 11:00 PM.So we skipped the movie and he served me dinner at his place.We started watching a movie at his place, but I only wanted to watch the full moon at his place…

His gorgeous place was prime location for moon gazing – I asked if we could turn off the TV and gaze.YES.

So we lay on separate couches… talking and moon gazing. We had pretty deep discussion… Often on dates, men want to have a session about life issues because I am a life coach.I try to avoid it, but it happens all the time. Men are less prone to just come on in for a consult with JujuMama… They like to take the back door. LOL!

So to ease this sweet King, and take him away from his “troubles” I took him into a guided meditation…

I guided him intoa place of peace with my words. Of course we traveled through time and I allowed him to see the future. Any of us can travel to the past or future to make changes in our lives. He was really relaxed and receptive by the time we returned to the moment.And so of course, he returned the favor…He looked like he was in tears. He asked for and needed hugs. So we began an intense round of connecting with bodies… I faintly recall his hands on my waist again… Recall the original feeling that signaled my need for this connection, back at the restaurant that day…Its baaaccckkk.

BTW – I am starting to get a new sense of the world. What if our bodies are really telling us what our spirits want to say… you know, that we need healing… what if when we have the goose bumps, or feel an electric tingle when we catch the eye of another beautiful human being on Planet Earth – that it’s Source speaking in tongues to our hearts making us long for what we actually need – organically? What if it isn’t lust, or base passion at all? What if everything we think we know is just plain wrong, and living from sensation and high spiritual vibration is the way? I mean, just think about that one for a moment as I go on… I mean really. Ponder it…

Skin met and I felt the vibration of East Africa inside. Maybe he felt my Native American and African and European roots mesh again… love again. Everything we have ever been came to reunite within. It was a luscious space in which to reside. Happy to be alive to receive ~ We both needed the energy exchange so badly that we allowed it to last until early morning… I had indeed known him before. This was a reunification of souls – so clearly I felt put back together again. How sweet the night, and the love tremors that continued to reverberate in my inner layers all day, even days after this bliss. My smile alone became medicine for anyone who saw me that day… Including my husband and children. Now that ~my love~ is full circle.

I am thankful to Source for always leading me directly into the arms of healers. I am so thankful to actually trust life enough to know that I am only knowing, loving, sensing and flowing in my own divine reflection… I am so thankful for life.

Atlanta – I shall miss you.

JujuMama xoxox

WOW!  This is the first year in 14 years that I did not have birthday sex.  Usually I trip about the entire thing.  This year, I have evolved…  My husband was out doing a tantra session after our HUGE DC Event last night.  The Sexiest Seminar went long in DC and then we had an after party on U Street.  Fabulous!

After the after party, there was a woman who wanted a personal tantra session.  My husband reluctantly asked me if it was OK to do this on my birthday, I suppose he recounted the years I have gone completely ballistic when he ignored my conditioned behavior pattern of wanting sex specifically on my birthday.  He recalls the times I tripped out when it didn’t seem to be forthcoming.  He seemed fearful in the asking, but I said YES.  YES, go and have a session with this lovely young lady.  This is your job…

And I was fine.  I went out with another young lady, a good friend of mine, and we sat outdoors at Starbucks and talked all night!  Finally when I went to bed at 5:00 AM after walking our Min Pins, I was proud of myself.  I hadn’t tripped, hubby wasn’t home yet, and I slept.  Amazing!

To most this seems mundane, but to me, knowing my ‘stuff’ and owning my ‘stuff’ I feel totally evolved!  There was a time when I had a conditioning about sex on certain days and at certain times.  For instance, if we were staying in a hotel, there should be sex; New Year’s Eve, sex; of course birthdays (his and mine) sex sex sex; and I really wanted sex on demand after a date with him or when celebrating success.  Not only did I want sex on these days and times, I wanted HIM to want it just as I did.  If he were to sleep or plan something else, I would lose my peace completely!

There isn’t really a problem with these conditionings except that if it were not possible, say we spent New Year’s at our parents, or we found ourselves apart for one of these days, maybe he was on a business trip or whatever, I would lose my temper and become upset.  So now, I feel that I am growing out of it!  Finally.

This is The Progressive Relationship© at work.  Sure I could blame him for being insensitive to my needs.  He should just know that I want sex and provide it, right ladies?  But I know better…  I know that the purpose of my relationship is growth – the benefit is love.  SO I will always be tested to come beyond my comfort zone.  And when I do, I learn to stand peacefully and accept a new way of looking at life, a new idea about what should be, and a new persona arises from the ash…  It works this way for all of us and for all of our conditioned behavior patterns.

We all come with a package of old thoughts, ideas, beliefs and ‘must haves’ to our relationships… growing beyond these, to the point where it does not effect us adversely when we do not have ‘our way’, is the very stuff that relationships are made for.  Some call it compromise, I think that word is too light.

I am not compromising with my husband when I can’t have sex on a date that I am conditioned to want sex.  I am giving up the OLD, Controlling, parts of me (or I may be choosing to not give up that part of me).  When I get outside of the comfort zone I can choose to give up the part of me that is pre-wired for this or that habit to continue.  In giving this up, I am also releasing attachments to having everything my way.  In releasing old attachments, I become flexible, lean, conscious and evolved…

Does this mean that I will never have birthday sex again!  NO!  It simply means that I will never lose my composure ~ indeed, my peace ~ when circumstances or his choices make it impossible.  I used to be OK with circumstances making it impossible, but if he directly CHOSE not to give it to me, or chose to do something else instead, I fumed.  This fuming causes illness in the mind, body and spirit.  I don’t want illness – so I grow.

Thanks everyone who sent lovely messages to me for my birthday on Facebook!  You ROCK!  And thanks to my husband who is so kind, sweet, strong and masculine!  You ROCK!  And thanks to the higher parts of myself ~ I finally see the freedoms my choices can create!  I choose my emotional state, it does not choose me… Thus I am FREE!

Muah!

xoxoxox

Here is the note I got today from a young lady concerned about virginity…

Kenya

I’ve always been taught to “wait” for the “right” person to have sex with and I do believe in monogamy. Lately I’ve been reading your blog and I know you talk about attraction and opportunity. I’m 19 years old and have never had sex. The opportunity of sex has always been there, but there was no one I ever felt it would be “right” with. I thought I would be in a relationship with a man, fall in love, etc. then have sex with him. But for the first time I’ve met a man whom I have no desire to be in a relationship with but I am extremely attracted to him mentally, physically and emotionally. I know that we attract what we are but I can’t seem to figure this one out. I admit that I am nervous about being alone with him because there is no doubt that I would give myself to him. I know I would not regret it because I don’t regret any decisions that I make, instead I simply learn from them. I don’t agree with everything you say but I am open to all that you say. With that being said I would appreciate some insight on this.

Thank you,

Anonymous

I have replied below… Thanks!

So the question of virginity is a serious one… I don’t know if you really want to hear JujuMama’s opinion on this one as you may have guessed – it does not fit the mold.  I have an eight-year-old daughter myself, so I can say that my theories will apply to her.  This will be an adventure in words, so please hold on… be ONE with me…

First, of the young lady who wrote, I know a bit more of her history than you might think.  She has refrained from sex because she did not want to be like the other girls who were having promiscuous sex at an early age.  So she was rebelling against participating in her natural sexual desire because of what seemed unnatural in a society that does four things:

•    Pit’s young girls against sexuality very young using scare tactics and guilt
•    Creates excessive curiosity about sex due to delivering a clinical education on the subject
•    Creates an environment where girls who DO are seen as sluts
•    Does not offer a viable or realistic time line for young girls to become married.

When is it appropriate to have sex?  High School, college, after college, marriage?  Most would say marriage, but marriage is not assured and young girls know that.  They can see the television.  They know the stats! Girls can see that they are basically on their own with finding love… figuring that HUGE labyrinth out… Their tools?  Vanity Fair magazine and the other sex pot, sex tips mags for girls… how to give head.  Please!   It’s humongous weight for young girls!  I recall it, do you…  Are these people for real?

These four concerns above are the reason why the young lady who wrote the letter is asking if she can trust her own feelings!   This lack of trust in my own sensual self rocked my world as a young girl.  I was afraid of sex because of the fear of STD’s and pregnancy, both of which are real concerns, however, these concerns were a major topic when speaking of sex with adults.  Rarely did adults say “Well, sex is fun, fabulous and wonderful – you should really enjoy it once you find the right type of guy.”  No way!  They said, use a condom, don’t get pregnant, the world is dangerous…be careful!  Be a good girl…

Mothers didn’t seem to be trying to help us prepare for marriage either, right?  Rather, we were prepared for college.  I bet that’s true of the young woman who wrote this letter…yes?  I assumed that I was expected not to have sex there either.  When I left for college mom didn’t say – OK – have fun!  You are going to meet some great guys, you may want to have sex, feel free to have sex.  Did your mom say this?  Did she wink at you and say, “oh, now you are about to experience the hotness!”  No way.  The unspoken code was that if I had sex in college, I should ‘be careful’ – not ‘have fun’.

No relationships classes or support in college either.  Girls were on their own for the first time.  Many went buck wild with sex.  But it was still seen as taboo.  The girls who were having sex were seen as ‘fast’ or ‘slutty’;  Even in college!  The virgins, or the ones who said they were virgins, were somehow a commodity…  However, everyone wanted to do it!  This was like a strange world of confused mammals mating without a cause and hating themselves for loving themselves so much… OMG!

All this was going on even as science has proven that a girl will long for babies most, and experience the best time for child bearing and rearing from age 14 – 24.  But these years are spent trying to figure out if it was OK to want sex or not.  And most girls i knew really wanted it – spoken or unspoken!  Am I correct, my anonymous friend?

I have recently had young clients just like the young lady who wrote the letter above who are actually afraid of their own desire for sex!  Recently a young lady wanted to have sex and in fact did have sex with her college boyfriend only to starve herself for days afterward in order to not become pregnant.  She exhibited nervous disorders around a heightened fear of pregnancy.  Why?  If her mom were to find out that she was pregnant, she would be disappointed.  Her life would be ruined!  This should be considered a national emergency.  What are we doing to our girls?

So I say all this to say,  it is difficult to talk about the issue of this one teenage young woman, who desires sex without contextualizing the matter as a larger malfunction of society itself.  We can’t have natural physiological occurrences making girls desire babies from the age of 14 as we tell these same girls that sex is NOT OK until marriage which may NEVER come, or may come later in life.  We, as a whole, are not setting young girls’ up with perspective husbands – so why are we telling the to wait until marriage?  It’s ridiculous!  And it causes inner turmoil that is not at all necessary or healthy.

This may help the reader who asked the initial question about whether or not she should have sex.  Really she is asking can she trust her sensual desire.  Can she trust who she attracts…  I will not tell my daughter to wait until marriage.  I will not have her think that her natural desire for sensual intimacy is unnatural or slutty.  I will, instead, provide for her all that she needs to know about sex without the guilt trip or the fear and scare tactics.  I will enlighten her about sensual energy, share ways that she can have that energy with a young man with or without intercourse.  Teach her tantra and how to use her body.  My daughter will know and already does know that the female body can ejaculate from six different vaginal areas.  Do you know I didn’t know that until I was thirty three?  I had three kids by the time I found out!  Shameful!

I will allow her to know that sex is a healing, pleasurable, sacred experience that can be fun, kinky, and magical!  (I hope the reader is getting the point… LOL!)  I will also find out who she is sexually attracted to and encourage her to not bottle those feelings but explore them.  Open to those feelings by using touch, massage, kissing, hugging and petting… It’s OK.  She will know that if she chooses intercourse, this may lead to pregnancy.  And I will tell her to always protect her inner temple by using a condom.  But most of all, she will only attract who and what she is, so she can trust the world to bring her goodness, she can trust life, she can trust boys!  (Reader, you can trust your sensual self… you are OK!)

OMG!!!!  I bet you are shouting out loud…at me or with me…  But YES – I said it and will continue to say it!

I will encourage her to talk about sex with me and dad.  I won’t force her to talk, but rather keep a running dialogue open so that she will not be afraid to talk.  I will always let her know what is happening in my own sex life and share stories of my youth when I loved to make love!  I do this with her already and she has already shared many things that many parents do not know about their daughters like the day she told me about the girls having sex with one another at the slumber parties or the boy who tried to kiss her in my basement.  She shared this with me in laughter because I am laughing too.  I am telling her, ofcourse the boys like you, you are beautiful.  But you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.  If you want to kiss, kiss!  There is no harm in a gentle touching of lips – it’s just like a hug!  In terms of the girls, I tell her that they are just curious and no one is teaching them how sex feels, so they want to find out – no problem.  The girls are not ‘bad girls’.  If she wants to participate – fabulous!  If not, jut leave.

Now for many of you, this may sound nuts.  But what is more nuts – producing more pent up, guilt ridden, fearful, paranoid, shut down,  prude arse women, prone to have female illnesses like breast cancer, uterine and cervical cancer women… (due to the fact that they resent their own femininity – oh I had it, I already know what female cancers are…) or creating comfortable, free, relaxed, receptive, open, smart, beautiful, healthy, bountiful Goddess women!  What is the harm in the creation of free women?  None.

So to you my darling… I know I have said a lot and that is on purpose.  I cannot tell you how to conduct your affairs.  But if you were my 19 year old girl, I would take you to teach you of tantra, I would encourage you to explore sexuality with the person you have attracted.  I would keep close tabs on your life and ask you if you are experiencing orgasm as you should, ask you how you enjoy your sensual life and what could be better?  I would educate you and hold you in my arms and show you how it feels to embrace your own sensual power… I would initiate you and prepare you for healing, amazing, fruitful, sweet intercourse!  I would encourage you to always enjoy it and savor the moments and be healed by it… I would call you back to your natural self, your natural sensual self.  And you would receive love – beautiful, bountiful love…

Enough said?

I hope that helps…

Muah!

Jujumama xoxoxox

Nation Wide tour beginning in Miami July 10, 2009

For details call 703-774-5676 – We’ll see you soon!

We cannot serve our purpose when anchored to a prevailing mindset that does not serve our purpose ~ J.S. Perkins

Wow – so last night was interesting. I had a couple to counsel whom are on the verge of divorce. I love these two human beings, they are both so wonderful. However, like most of us, they are unwilling to go beyond their comfort zones. She is unwilling to even consider a reconciliation because she is so angry and hurt. I do not know what he is unwilling to do. So far he has been willing to do just about anything I suggest, maybe his unwillingness was in the relationship – he was passive aggressive and had done loads of covert things to her that she is now fed up with… She called it manipulation.

And it ain’t just them, it’s so many couples going through similar issues. Years and years of built up emotion, unresolved and unsettled stuff just looming in the minds of both partners… I think it is imperative that we get these things out on the table. I do it through a process I call the Three Way Mirror. Now to just get her to come along and participate…

It is hard for her to get beyond the anger… So today I posted that on my facebook page, a question, why is it so difficult to get beyond our comfort zones? My Dad made a comment I thought was of note…

“People just hate to change and they usually think that they are right. They build their comfort zones based on lots of things but their values and energy level play an important role. Many times to move the comfort zone out they have to exert more energy or reassess their values. If it is an energy thing, it is easier to change than if it is a value thing. You can get someone to try harder if they really want the relationship but it is harder to get them to see that they have a limited viewpoint but that too can be done with creative outside assistance.”

My Dad has been married for 36 years to my Mom so I think the comment is not only well founded, but very relevant…

Let’s talk about it ~ Values vs. Energy as requisites for change…

Values boil down to one’s belief system. When partners come together they are bringing two sets of values.  The hope is that there will be some give on both parts to accommodate the union and facilitate harmony.  However, this is a process of growth that needs facilitation!  Where are the programs, processes and institutions that teach this to young, single people?

I just spoke to a friend who is getting married this summer.  She is going to marriage counseling at her church, but is not able to speak about some of the more pertinent things like her values around sex.  She can only speak to her pastor about so much… The rest, she figures, will iron itself out over time.  NOT! This friend is hoping that after the marriage her hubby will be willing to come study tantra with me!  But he is leery of it.  But she wants it and has not said it!  OMG!

It is important for a couple to know and understand one another before they marry.  But that will still not be enough. Why?  Individual values changes throughout the course of the marriage!  Values are not static! (hint: I never thought I would have a progressive relationship even just 7 years ago… things change, values are dynamic).

Because values change over time,  there must be a different way to asses these and maybe pinpoint the possible shifts they will take.  Or maybe the primary value system needs to have at it’s base that couples will NEVER fear the unknown, couples will always walk boldly into growth – together!  And that can really be the only value of the progressive relationship.

Maybe my Dad was talking about in terms of values and energy go together… in more ways than one.

When I got married at 21, I told my husband that I did not believe in divorce.  I told him that WHATEVER came up, I’d want to always work it out.  So one of my values is persistence, longevity, real commitment and a life long partnership.  He agreed and was enthusiastic about this.  We always recall that pledge as our foundational value system and have been able to work loads of things out just based on a simple phrase… “we don’t believe in divorce“.  So we have worked through violence, anger, financial problems, his desire for more love, and so forth just based on a shared value.

The couple I worked with last night did not seem to have a foundational value system, which is OK, it is never too late.  But she has a point of view which is very fixed and he has a point of view which, in the past, he stuck to with a hard nose as she was complaining about it… So now they are on two different plains of reality without a catalystic commonality to forge the union in tough times.

So that leads us to energy.  She hasn’t the energy to even try.  However, I think that she had been waiting on HIM to get his energy up to try for two years when he was doing passive aggressive and covert things!  He didn’t come through when she wanted him to, and so now she is just DONE, even as he finally sees the light.  But all the while, she had no intention of changing until he did.  Both are hard nosed!

A sad state of affairs.  I think that their energy is flailing about the situation because their values were never aligned to bring them back to a center point in the relationship.

So here is the rub:  What must happen is circular.  The only real value is that couples must know that the growth experiences or challenges will come up.  They must value GROWTH!  If they value growth then the energy to go through difficult times together will always be there!

This leads to purpose.  Purpose = Aligned Value + Aligned Energy.  PURPOSE is the all important thing that can become the basis of a union and help a couple stay together in tough times.  What is the purpose of this relationship?  That purpose is easy to identify with the right tools.  My Three Way Mirror is a four hour spiritual journey process couples can take to find the purpose of the union.  When we broaden the question to ask, what is the purpose of ANY relationship, that purpose is SPIRITUAL GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT!  Bottom Line.

What is that?  GROWTH and a commitment thereto takes one out of the comfort zone which is the ONLY place growth happens!

That simply means that we are together to grow through any challenge… we are with one another to expand our consciousness with sustained focus on personal growth together.  Who better to have this type of arrangement with than a life partner?  If you try to have this with a friend, or co-worker, it may not be as useful because you can easily leave this friend or co-worker.  And there is no sexual energy, which is an energetic, bonding element.  Once you bond with another and formulate a working partnership based on love, you are stating to the Universe that you will utilize this “other” to see yourself fully!  You cannot see yourself without “other” which is why many are choosing not to be married these days – no one wants to look themselves square in the face and say “Wow – I have work to do! Lets Do This!”

Nooooo, we are taught that comfort is God, Ease is God, we need to feel relaxed, chilled out, mellow… But what happens in that case?  How long can we feel comfortable before we see that we also have things to work on, they ozze out in work relationships, and with our parents and peers.  It’s gonna come out either way!  You can create change or have change create you!

But with a life partner, you can put forth sustained effort and have this mirror of “other” around you long enough to see your own reflection change, you will literally grow with this person until you see them change into who you always knew they were and who you actually are without the blockages.

We have to have the values soundly placed which will make the energy more pronounced, especially in the “bad” times which are really brilliant opportunities to grow!

Muah!

Thanks Dad!

JujuMama xoxoxox

“I found god in myself and loved her. I loved her fiercely.”— Ntosake Shanghe

Ummmm.  Yes!  I am outside at Caribou, it’s 1:00 AM and I am loving Atlanta!  I have a few juicy secrets for you…  I have a few new lovers and I am totally blissed about it.  LOL!  I have an itch to have you know me.  I want you to know me so that you might know yourself even better…  That is why I blog.

So since I last wrote about my personal life I was there on the swing with my hubby at Peidmont Park wondering why I was so freaking angry. Since that serious growth point, I have been more myself.  I have expanded my feminine horizons and enjoyed sweet love taking me higher, onward, to the blissful heights we were all meant to soar…

So I have a lover, right, his name is not what I want to share.  His energy is.  His energy is so strong that the first time we shared love, I could not move.  I mean, I was literally paralyzed by his magical spirit.  His light touched the deepness parts of my outer womb.  I felt as though I would faint, or gag, or be lifted into a bliss I had never before known, what would that be like? I could not take a risk, would I lose my mind with joy?  Many women have issues allowing pleasure when it comes… It took me four hours to open to it…  I had to move slowly not to pass out, my mind fiddled with our connection, between the voice and breath… where had I known him before… I had to have known this awesome soul once before…

Usually I can see where I have known a man, a woman, a child.  I see past lives all of the time.  But this time, this space, this bliss was way overloading my psych.  I could not see it!  I kept calling to him – “I know you, where do I know you from?”  He didn’t know what I was talking about.  That was OK.  The norm.  But damn!  I wanted to know and the Universe would not and has not yet shown me!

So we made a deep and powerful magic that night.  So powerful, in fact, that I have craved him daily for the past four weeks.  I met him on my YES YES YES night. I met him in a club of all places and he was on my mind for weeks as we texted back and forth.  For literally months we texted and enjoyed the distance until one day I could not stand it anymore.

Now this boy is not the most handsome man in the world, except to the eye that beholds the light of the soul.  You see, I could see and can see and do feel and do know his soul.   What I see is purity and love and giving and strength.  He doesn’t see it.  In fact, after that first brilliant night, he kept asking me, “why does a beautiful and sensuous woman with a beautiful husband and a beautiful family want ME?”  Can you believe it?  Magic maker is asking me “Why Me”?????  So I try to tell him and he can’t understand.

This boy is a dealer of things.  He sells things… He may think, and I actually do think that he thinks that I may want him only because of his things.  He is a dealer of goods that my babies enjoy like Wii or LapTops and such.  YUMMY – I love entrepreneurs.  But that is not why I want to be with him.  He can’t see that….

So here is the mirror and here is the challenge.  This man is now pushing me away because he can’t understand why I want him.  Why would JujuMama, the DIVA, the GODDESS want the likes of this slight, slim, older man?

How can he not get it?   Does he know the power of his healing light?  Did he see me almost pass out that night?

How could he not see his own beauty?  I’ll tell you why…  He is mirroring me.  He is showing me what it looks like to not acknowledge self, the talents of self.  He is showing me that I too doubt myself, why would anyone want to read me, know me, come to counsel with me?  ME!!!??  And I had to and have to look at it straight in the face.  I mean, damn, does this man know what type of magic he really has?  I too sometimes doubt my clearly evident magic.  Everyone sees my Juju except me at times, and I do what he does, push back…  But NO MORE!  He has made me see it.  And THIS, THIS, THIS my friends is the only purpose of relationships!  We look into the mirror of self.

YUMMY

Moving on, I will tell you about another of my luscious men.  He is a Kappa, like my husband.  He and my hubby have loads in common.  This weekend  we finally got to spend some time…  Do you know what this man did?  You know ima tell you!  LOL!

He texted me, right, and he says he has prepared a spa night for me.  What?  He is going to cook on the grill and feed me with a fork, he is going to massage me and play Sade for me, whom I remind him of, and whom I am in love with! [ Oh yes, I can be in love with a woman if I damned well please! ]  He is going to give me anything I want.  If I want a bath, if I desire a kiss, if I need a hug, If I just need to be held, whatever I want.  That is what he wants to give…

OK.

So I’m like YES.  Saturday.  YES!  So when he picked me up I wanted him to stop in and meet the kids and hubby, but it was too late because some handsome white boy had made me a strong drink at the pool and I fell asleep behind that and was just damned late!  LOL!  But he did stop in the AM to meet my king!

The night was a magical carpet ride of aroma and sights and sounds.  His house was like – immaculate!  He was a servant to my Yin, he made me the focus of his energy and effort.  The man was grilling, fixing drinks, playing music, lighting incense and candles and it was very delicious to watch and enjoy.  He told me that most women do not respect his desire to serve a woman.  I promptly told him that he had finally met a woman who could appreciate all a dis!  Loving it, I watched and could not believe the sense of satisfaction I felt to see him GIVE… luscious!

The evening swirled in mystical clouds away from me, into me…  I found myself swooped into the arms of this X – NFL player – the arms of a God – and the energy of heaven streaming directly into my heart.  To say that the romance was hot is a serious understatement, but there are not words that can describe the depth to which he loved me that night.  His feelings emptied my soul and made me hollow for being filled with his healing – more I begged – more he offered.  Empty I made myself his subject.  Innocent I accepted all gifts.  Blissed I unwound beyond the stress of the day… Peaceful and humbled my respect for the creator, which made this moment, soared…  Synergizing my desire with actual reality – I finally realized that I created this.  And there I was, alas, spellbound…

Love and Light to you, my king.

So some say, damn girl, what are you going to do about “protection” with all this wood in your Earth… To that I say this, and this is funny.  I tell all the men I make love with that I am VERY VERY fertile and that I LOVE babies.  I tell them that if I get pregnant I will definitely have the baby, not only will I have the baby but my husband and I will raise it as our own!  The men look at me like, is this B for real?  And I answer that silent thought with a loud YES reiterating my desire for more and more babies, always more babies.  I tell them how I want to nurse again, how I want to nurse for years and years without stopping and that my hubby won’t get me pregnant anymore…. LOL!  These guys RUN for a condom, do you hear me?  I mean they RUN!  LOL!

Try it ladies.  I do need “protection” because I actually am very fertile, but that’s because I am very, very orgasmic… finally.

Which leads me to the response I get when I experience orgasm after blissful orgasm with my kings.  Ummmmoist just thinking about it.  I allow them to please me and I get under their energy to receive what they are giving.  All the time!  All the time I am the woman following and flowing with the gifts that kings give.  All the time you can find me flowing hollowly like a leaf on the wind waiting for the next breeze to blow me further than ever before – blow me to heaven kings!  YES!  And the response is ALWAYS that they enjoy seeing me fly.  All men want is for women to soar!

So that is kinda it.  I do have one sweet lover whom I truly find intriguing.  However, he is in NYC and I am here and he has not come forth with the plan, so I await thee, king.  I await the unfolding of destiny, another man for me to see my mirror in, another king to challenge me to my next level of divine self-hood, another lover to enjoy and another person to energize me as I become an even better wife to my hubby who loves me like the nursing kittens love the milky cat, and I love him.  OMG!  Thanks for freeing me to know myself more than I ever had known I wanted to know her…

Again…

“I found god in myself and loved her. I loved her fiercely.”— Ntosake Shanghe

Juju xoxoxox

OK – So what is the deal people?  Can someone help me understand when we are going to get rid of this dated concept of manipulation.  I mean, this one went out with corsets (well, corsets are sexy, except when they break your ribs).  Let’s see, this one went out with ceramic shingles (well, those are sort of elegant).  OK fine, this one went out with the concept of BLAME.  Nothing pretty about blaming someone else for any part of your life right?

Same senselessness in choosing to believe in another dying paradigm – Manipulation.  SO we’re gonna look at this because we have to.  Men and women alike are afraid to be called a manipulator.  Yet, we want to master the Law of Attraction, we want to become Creators of our lives.  But, the two concepts do not fit together ~ manifestation and manipulation.  Blame is the essence of manipulation.  If someone is “manipulating” another or (heaven forbid) manipulating you, then you do not believe that you create your life.  You in fact believe in the concept of blame… right?

No one is doing anything to us.  We are creating everything for ourselves.  AND, when we ladies put on that feminine energy and shine it into the world, we are not ‘doing anything’ to anyone, we are simply using our natural talent to manifest our desires quickly and easily!  Feminine magnetism is MAGICAL!

How can we think that working magic in our lives to create what we desire can be a form of manipulation?  Come now.

This week alone I have talked to over a dozen women who are telling me that they feel badly using the sweet techniques that I am teaching, like Yes Honey, because they feel like they are manipulating their men.  Wow!  So the anger, the fighting, the slashing of tires, the all night talks, these are not manipulative at all, right?  You are not doing that to get what you want – you’re angry because – HELL – you’re angry!  LOL!  But the sweetness, the sweet words, the kindness, the sex appeal and compliments to your man, to ALL men;  using these “tactics” are manipulative? Hmmmmm.

Let’s examine this, I think it should be explored in fullness.

To begin at the beginning, we are all choosing our lives.  There are no victims and no villains because we are making conscious and un-conscious choices in every millisecond of every day on this Planet.  Thus, when something pops into our lives that we do not care for, we can not blame the thing, we have to ask ourselves, how did we create this thing?  Right?

It follows, then, that if we show up into a man’s life using whatever tactics we use to converse and convene with this human being, the fact of the matter is that he attracted us for a reason.  If we show up and we have anger management issues and he is complaining that he always get the ‘crazy women’ – who can he blame for it?  Shall he blame you, or should he try to find the crazy in him that attracts the craziest specimens of the female gender?

We all know the answer to this one, especially if we are living in the new (yet ancient) consciousness of evolution.

So, in like manner, if a man, let’s say he is a fine and delicious man, the type of man who just walks in and you melt.  I mean fabulous, and appealing, and glowing, and stunning – all the cookies with the milk too.  All the power and the passion too!  All of that!  Let’s us say YOU have attracted him….  You are learning to use your feminine Magic!  Get what you want, girl!  YES!  You are a secure and confident DIVA!

You show that loving hunk of bliss some good, sweet, decorum; you find it so wonderful to use this new magic that you test drive it on this man as though you are driving a Maserati.  And the thing is running smooth and you are liking the feel and the results are creamy, and he is being the freakin MAN due to your easing back and being the WOMAN!  He is wrapped around the very magnetic pinkie finger… Happily.

Are you manipulating him?

How is this a form of manipulation?  Sure, you are internally thinking about how to say things in such a way that you do not blow up his naturally HOT fire.  But does that mean you are trying to control him?  Sure you are thinking about how to receive more, how to appreciate men more, how to trust him, how to appear and actually BE more easy going, luscious, and relaxed – does this mean that you are scheming to rule his life, manipulate him for your gain?  And what of it?

What if you are scheming to get this man wrapped around your pinkie toe?  Is THAT manipulation?

Let’s think about this ladies.  Remove your Western thinking cap a moment.  Why wouldn’t I want ALL men wrapped around my pinkie toe?  Why is that degrading?  If I were to bring a million dollars cash into this room right now and say, OK, the way to get this million into your bank account is to be sweet to it, be receptive, be open to allowing it to lead you, be open to appreciating this money – do these things and it will be yours.  These judges will evaluate you.

I bet like hell that you will be the first one trying to Manifest that money with your charms.  And you would have no qualms about it.  The money wouldn’t care.  But guess what?  Neither will the man.  He will not be upset at you for being a DIVA!  No more upset than he would be if you were walking around with a constant attitude.  Why is having an attitude not seen as manipulation, it is the exact same thing as being sweet to get what you want, except you’re being funky to get what you want?

I am confused and utterly befuddled.  Hep me, Bliss Babies.  Please… I need it.

Please leave your comments.

It’s JujuMama

I am writing on behalf of all women (I hope).  This letter is especially oriented for men in relationships with women, long term relationships, marriages and short term relationships for that matter!  I want to talk about your desire to have more.  We all want more.  More love, more freedom, more fun!  We honor you.  We want that too.  Everyone wants to feel free and happy, right?

Let me explain a few things to you that will surely get that DIVA you are working with on the right page about the relationship.  She needs your love and I know you need her respect and both of you can have BOTH!  Easy as pie!

The trick is simple. In this letter, I offer four ways for you to take your relationship to the next level.

I guess I’m talking to men today because of all the emails I get from men who say:

“Kenya K, I want my wife or lover to open up in the ways you have to your husband  – but she won’t let me do anything like that.  She would kill me if she knew I were writing you!”

I guess these men are talking about the open relationship piece.  But there are a few things that must be in tact in a primary relationship before women will even consider doing anything outside the norm.  Women are VERY conservative.

This is from the heart…

POWER – First and foremost a woman has to feel secure in her relationship with you.  What do I mean?  Well, she has to know that you are taking full responsibility for her and her needs and that you would literally die for her!  She really doesn’t want to ask.  She wants you to just show up right and be powerful for her, sit her down, get her comfortable.  Now that may sound extreme, but any man can do this.  Some of you might think I am talking about money, but that is only half the battle.  Money or not, she needs to feel your presence like a hot, hard, energy right there making sure she is safe, cared for and protected.  The best way to accomplish this is up to you!  I am not in the business of telling men what to do.  But I will tell you what women want to feel.

LEADERSHIP – Secondly, women want to feel like they are with a dynamic leader.  I call this the Barack Obama Effect.  They want to know that you are strong enough to be the head of the kingdom you call home.  We modern ladies are a tough bunch.  We have been trained to be men in our modern schools and homes.  So we are truly, at heart, looking for a man who can be so much of a man that we are actually inclined to sit the F down and shut the F up!  LOL!  OK, enough with the jokes.  I mean we just want to know that our man is strong enough to lead us.  If we are acting out of the box, we want your diplomacy and CEO qualities to come out.  Manage us!  We may not admit it, but we like to be managed.  Especially when the management is fair, concise and based on wisdom and light.  Be our guests!  Take the reigns.  Be fair with us.  Overlook some of our honery traits and see who we are on the inside, just as you expect of us!

WISDOM - Another thing we need to know is that you men have a source of wisdom.  We know that you have BIG dreams and we support those dreams, in fact we birth your dreams from our wombs not just as children, but as literal things from nothing to something!  However, we need to know that you have a counselor, an advisory board supporting you in your choices.  We love to follow brilliant men, all men are brilliant, but no man is an Island.  We love to know that you are going to others who support  you in making wise choices for yourself, your family, your career and your relationship!  This is so sexy!  To know that we are following a king who follows kings!  We love to know that you are humble enough to ask for support from those who have been there.  You are HOT enough to set the tone in our relationship based on sound, solid, advise from others who are just as wise as you and have traveled the road you desire to travel.

COMMUNICATION – Finally, we ladies need to know what’s happening.  We need you to learn the gift of gab.  No, we don’t expect for you to be a woman and show your emotions on your sleeve.  But we want you to communicate your ideals and goals to us.  We want you to use your logical reasoning faculty to create words and strings of words that tell us (we are thinkers, we are over thinkers) what we are doing, where we are going and who we are expected to be in the relationship.  I personally love it when my husband sets the tone in my home.  I love it when he uses communication skills to put me down with the plan.  Sure, he stopped doing this for quite a while when I had nasty things to say about his BIG ideas and RISKY plans.  But I have since learned to listen to him, to compliment him, and to accept his mode of thinking as different from my own.  You know I show the other ladies how to do this, so you’re safe with us now!

SEXUAL HEALING – Finally, we want you to combine all four of these luscious qualities in the bedroom.  We want strong and secure, diplomatic and giving, wise and intuitive, plus communicative.  Tell us that we are GODDESSES in the bed as we love, show us your strength and virility, be giving in the bedroom, you are there to give us your sexy maleness and we receive that, we honor you for it, and finally, use your intuition and wisdom to know what we need most.  We trust you!  Encourage us to just enjoy sexual energy and tell us to just float away in the bedroom.  Tell us to be FREE and to OPEN and to be BLISSFUL.  Give us permission to experience joy without thinking of your needs.  Let us know that your needs are fulfilled in the simple fact that you feel good to fulfill our needs for sensual bliss.  We are open and ready to receive all the yummy goodness you embody.

Things are simple, right? Once we have a man like you doing these four things and the fifth, a combination of all male qualities in the bedroom, we can get deep with you.  We will become vulnerable and sweet with you.  And we will not make you wait until you have this down pat!  We open to you even as you move toward these traits.  We are infinitely patient and understanding.  As long as we see you walking this path, we feel safe.  We release the past and open to a bright new day.  It is when we experience these depths that we feel free enough to allow for more that you crave.

If you want more free time, less neediness from us, more freedom, less controlling from us, more fun, less jealousy from us about your female friends and so forth, then let’s build a solid foundation.  Of course, as I can only speak from the voice of Kenya K on this one, the possibilities for MORE are infinite if and only if there is a strong foundation in monogamous love.  We do not want to plan for the day when we have to open to your MORE.  We only want to live in the NOW of your eternal love.  Again, women are conservative.  But we are willing to slip into a knowing that things are always changing and will never stay the same.  What we want most of all is to feel your deepest commitment to us.  Give us this by showing us the above four traits and we will see to it that we both get all we need in life and love – in the long run.  I promise.

Bliss to you my sexy Kings!

JujuMama loves you and so do all women!

PS – We cannot wait to allow you into the Goddess Realm next time we meet.  We love to receive you and feel the bounty of your fire and air.  We breath you in and enjoy the satisfaction of knowing your strength.  There is nothing more pleasing to us that a man such as yourself.  You have quenched our eternal thirst for balance.  We move ‘past drama’ out of the way to trust and honor you again and again.  Take pleasure in knowing that our full support is yours.  You can count on us to feel satisfied by you and to tell you so.  We vow today to tell you more often how happy we are with you and to allow the old complaints to drift out to sea, never to be seen again.  We are learning a new language for you – it is called Enlightenment At Last! We are now 100% yours as we accept the fact that you are a man – a real man – perfect in your evolution – perfectly pleasing to our minds, bodies and souls…

Let me know what you think!

I am currently doing a large spread on The Erotic Life of Women prior to Patriarchal Rule… Here is a prelude to a Kiss my lovelies… I found this article online and it is spot on! The ancient art of ambrosia (female ejaculation) is a resurging mystery that intrigues more and more modern-day people. Esoteric traditions (Tantric and Taoist) and western science have many perspectives on this form of female sexual expression. Both perspectives have value in shedding light on this at once controversial and mysterious topic. To more fully understand female ejaculation, an exploration into the nature of female sexual essence is necessary. YIN is symbolized by the ocean or water, and a woman’s essence is a living example of this: deep, mysterious, fluid. The power of the Feminine/YIN sexual energy can be frightening; from having the ability to host another life within her to accessing what seems like limitless bliss. In the Taoist traditions YIN is considered inexhaustible, cool, earthy, receptive and fertile. Today, most women have lost contact with their deeper YIN essence having been encouraged to primarily cultivate the YANG, or more surface aspects of themselves. This is largely due to the lack of broader sex education, early social conditioning, and religious dogma. As advanced as our society is, our understanding of sexual energy and its management is limited to the education received from Planned Parenthood programs in junior high as well as the messages delivered from media (movies, TV and internet). This sexual education covers basic anatomy and some preconceived ideas about what sexual performance should look like. Unfortunately this, combined with ‘good girl/bad girl’ upbringing and possible religious dogma around self-pleasuring has mislead most women to feel that their bodies are inadequate and that their YIN or softness has no real value or appeal. It is a common trend to desire a washboard stomach, to not be ‘so sensitive’ or ‘emotional’, to strive in the aggressive world by being aggressive, rather than loving. ‘I’GASM!!! I am loving this – I cannot reprint the entire story – click the link below to read the rest and thank the author! Post Continues Here – THIS IS SO WONDERFUL – Great Information Universal Tao Website