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Posts Tagged ‘respect’
So yes, this post is for new Jujumama readers. I have to catch you up! When I first started this blog I was in a regular, monogamous relationship. I don’t mean to make it sound drab. It was fabulous! Monogamy is a workable plan. I wanted it for so long in my teens and when I turned 21, I got it! I married my King! That was almost 14 years ago.
Our relationship was not ordinary. We are both upwardly mobile, Howard University Grads, and trained Shamans in the metaphysical Traditions. Having been trained by elders who practice Polygamy, that is: one poly man and many mono wives, we are familiar with alternative lifestyles; have seen them up close and personal. But we decided not to go that route.
Our decision lasted for 12 strong years until one day, my husband fell in love! I did not know it at the time, but when he fell in love outside our marriage, my ascent to personal liberation began.
You could not have told me that his falling in love would liberate me back then. I would have knocked you out! Mama said knock you out – huuuhh! This was a perilous uphill battle for me.
But this is my Menage a Montage. In this post I summarize my journey into Bliss as best I can… Maybe it will help you in your relationships!
I will tell you with video (coming soon) and words all about how my husband and I got to this point of openness in our marriage. Freedom was at first strange and terrifying – Freedom, finally, feels unimaginable good. I cannot believe I am writing these words… the journey has been life altering.
This did not happen over night and it was a struggle for me to drop the false identity painted onto my skin and into my soul. Mind of my mind, soul of my soul, how did I allow Western Thought to take total control of me? Once, just a short while ago, I blogged about how I should have the right to OWN my husband’s Mind, Body, Soul and most especially, his penis!
It only took three years for my husband to convince me release the pain of the past, the brainwashing of modern times, and open to flow and a new Paradigm. How did he do it? How did we do it? Well, it is a rather interesting tale…
So I had a client who asked me about the frequent fights she and her lover get into. I tried to share a way to handle this, but she got annoyed – happens in growth. We spoke a while longer and this download came directly from the stars! Yes, believe it or not!
Men are Stabilizers, Women are harmonizers.
Look at it this way. Women embody moisture, much more water than men. Women carry that water in bellies, breasts and hips. Women have more water on the brain! Women also have strong Earth components. For instance, women can be planted with a seed (physical and mental) and bring forth birth of that seed as life – like the Earth. The seed is fed with water – the water that accumulates in the womb or the psychic womb.
Men embody fire. Their testicles (house of the seed) is outside their bodies, thus they are able to sustain more fire without harming future generations. They house fire in muscle mass. Have you ever heard the phrase ‘burn the fat’. What mechanism in the body burns the fat? Why of course, it is muscle. In the muscle there are literal, fire factories burning fuel (food, fat) just like a factory burning garbage. Men have a greater capacity for muscle mass. Men also embody the element air. Men are dry, much drier than women. Even a large man will house on average less moisture than a small women! He is mostly muscle mass while she has loads of water on those breast and hips.
SO what does this have to do with an argument?
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mVEGfH4s5g]
I love this song! I love the elegance of this choreography! This is real skill, I am a dancer from way back and I know these moves are not easy. Try it for yourself, this is a fast paced, high energy, masterpiece! And Beyonce is so right, he should have put a ring on it. But why hasn’t he, why would any man be unwilling to commit to the woman he claims to love?
I believe I have an answer to that question. I think that men are actually afraid we’ll never be truly satisfied with them. Sure, we are satisfied sometimes, but at other times we flip over even the small things! Who wants to marry a ‘cussing out’ waiting to happen? Let me tell you what happened to me this morning that made me know why my husband hesitated to marry me 14 years ago…
Introduction to Change Your Man – Book Released November 2008
By : Kenya K Stevens – www.jujumama.com
OK. I have a confession to make. For many years I behaved very badly in my marriage. I was controlling, spoiled, immature, needy, and even violent. Not only did I behave badly, but I was actually – deep inside – afraid to let go of my disruptive, disagreeable behaviors. I felt as though I had access to power only through the forceful behaviors that felt natural for me. I did not want to accept my role as nurturer, mother, and wife. The traditional, domestic female archetypes seemed weak and powerless. I did not want to be vulnerable or sweet to my husband. I was afraid he’d take advantage of that. I preferred the strong, willful, and direct approach. Seizing each opportunity to proclaim sovereignty and control; I unwittingly became the “man” of the house.
