Wow!  Last night I had a very powerful experience.  The background is simple.  I have a Universal Love in NYC and I miss him.  When I was there this summer for the tour, which he helped me coordinate, we did not have a chance to “get together”.  He is very busy with things in the city, and I am always busy with things for Jujumama.  But that isn’t why we did not “hook up”.  In fact, I was walking on Broadway and 28th looking for a dress for the event when he found me!  Apparently he had called my husband to find out where I was.  He came to the hotel, to surprise me, but I was on the avenue shopping when we literally ran into each other…

He helped me.  As usual, this Universal Love is always helping me.  He hooks me up with the right people,  he cares about my career and about my happiness.  He is so YANG n YUMMY!  So when I exasperatingly expressed that I needed a dress and to have my hair done,  he quickly showed me the places in the Jungle of the NYC streets where I could get everything I needed in a pinch!  And then it was done!  After my hair do, he came back to escort me to the event in his luscious SUV with black tinted windows and smooth rims to match.  I was a lil late, but that’s OK.  giggle…

He tried to do a few things with me, kinky things, that I could not do, would not do because of the show.  I was late and nervous and all of that… and he was going to sweat my hair out!  Damn!  Thinking back,  I should have done some of those kinky things, I should have said YES…  had I done them, I would have been much more relaxed when I arrived!  LOL!  But I said NO, oddly.  I believe this hurt him.  After all, he was only trying to heal me and relax me… all men are trying to heal women when they suggest kinky interludes… don’t ya’ll know that?  Some women get their panties ruffled over small things…  Men seek to remove the panties and thus the stress!

So long story short.  This man is a really good man.  But, he didn’t come to the show because he had business to take care of.  I suppose he could have told me that as a manager, he had to be in the studio with his artists that Friday nights.  But he didn’t.  And so not coming my show was a stike against him. And, I thought he hadn’t called me afterward, when later I found he had, several times.  We were supposed to spend the evening together… but instead I went to bed angry that he “didn’t call me” and did not show up!  Did I call him?  No!  Why not?  Because he didn’t call me!  (Old paradigm foolishness)

The next day he was angry with me… He called me to find out why I ditched him, why I hadn’t picked up the phone when he rang, why my husband hadn’t answered his calls either.  He was hurt and disappointing.  Well, so was I.  But why?  Why was I holding on to the older version of myself… prideful and gaming?  I tried apologizing, but when you’re dealing with someone who is not yet into all of the Mystical Law of Attraction – instant forgiveness, world peace stuff, it takes more than an apology.  And, my behavior became my reflection in him!

Fine, forget him.  I went to 42nd street to have dinner with one of my mothers (I have mothers and lovers in every state!)  He was supposed to pick me up there, but was a no show, I think.  He said he called me and I did not answer… ok Verizon, where is my damned network!?  By the time Sunday rolled in, things had really deteriorated.  I did the show on Serius Radio that he had brokered for me, and I called to tell him that it went well, but he was not hearing me.  He was upset when he slipped in that he had a room at the W for us Friday night.  Oh no!  My favorite hotel!  Man!

So this is the way it ended in July. He called me after that a few times, but his voice was still hurting.  And I did not know what to say besides I am so sorry… Let’s make up.  But he would not budge.

Weeks passed; I wanted him back.  So I decided to use my own teachings.  I knew that I was responsible for creating this with my older, masculine, ways of thinking, a tit for a tat and all of that.  So  I went ultra feminine!  I started to visualize him getting over it, smiling again when he thought of me and us.  And man, did I start flirting!  Loving men in general brings you into harmony with men in general… I did a video on this one, remember?

So that brings me back to last night.  I was at the laundromat as the hotel I am staying at in Atlanta is without one.  I found myself sitting on a bench outside when this street vagrant walks up and begins talking to me through missing teeth and a crooked smile.  He was wearing all green, alcohol on his energy, and bent over from age!  And his friend appeared shortly thereafter, he was wearing yellow!  Yellow and Green are the colors of Oshun, or Venus!  I took it as a sign.  I told myself what I tell all women… You must embrace ALL men to embrace the man (or men) you love.  SO I embraced these street dudes with my voice and my smile.  We talked for hours!  They were so happy to speak with me, and share their stories.

I repeated to them what I feel about all men – WOW – you are so strong, how did you survive that?  You are so wise.  You are so fabulous.  And they were, one had survived a car accident and then lost his wife.  He showed me the scars.  The other had lost his mother at 6 months old and remembered her smile, and her words!  These guys were like, wow!  They were so happy to share and be heard.  I was happy to hear them.

This brought to mind my friend in NYC.  I missed him.  I wondered about his story, I had never asked him to share… but here I was, learning the things that I may not have done so well with him.  He cares about me, did I care about him?  Why was I so angry at him for not coming to the show… why was I so lacking in compassion for him?  Why did I tell him NO so many times that day?  He wanted to kiss – NO – my lipstick.  He wanted to embrace me – NO – the show… I was even upset with him for not paying for my hair-do… OMG!  I need to care about him.  And so I cared even more for these street dudes.

Later in our chat, they actually went to the store and bought me a beer!  Street guys!  The ones who ask for money.  They found money to get me a beer!  And they helped me lug clothing for a family of five back to my SUV, in the pouring rain!  Finally, and with a sweet good bye, I took one of them three blocks back to his home because it stormed in Atlanta last night… It was such a healing experience… They were so nice to me.

As I pulled into the hotel driveway and sat in my car to wait for the rain to end and unpack the clothing, I answered my cell phone to find my NYC Love on the other end.  He called me!  For the first time in three weeks or more, he called me.  And the conversation was lovely.  I asked him about himself and I showed him that I do care about him and his motives, and his dreams, and I told him how wonderful he is, and has been to me.  I thanked him for everything he has done for me…  His voice was back!  He was smiling again on the phone, I could tell.  He gave me what he always gives and gives so well… he gave me his Yang healing force.  And I said YES to everything he insinuated and demonstrated.  It rained on us and we healed our situation… so lusciously…

Feminine magic at it’s very best… That is what JujuMama’s do!  Right ladies?  And gentleman, thank you my dears.  We love you very much!

JujuMama xoxox

I love Physics.  In fact when I completed my degree at Howard University I thought of going back to get a Masters in Physics!  I never did, but I educated myself on these very important laws… One of which is a lover’s dream law!

Here it is…

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

YUMMY! Right?  This law of physics most certainly applies in love.  Physics is the study of matter.  The basis of matter is energy.  Energy is the wonderful thing that makes a relationship tick.  This summer our tour focused on applying this gem of a law to our love lives…

If every action creates an equal and opposite reaction, then whatever you do in the relationship – or whatever energy you inject into the lovely affair – will be returned in it’s opposite and equal proportion from your mate.

Thus, it becomes simple to create a better partner – notice I did not say a new partner, I said a better partner.  People change – the nature of life is change so never think that your partner can’t change – he or she must!  That is another handy law of the Universe… “Everything must change”  If you are single, this will work in your dating life as well, create an ideal partner!

Our Sexiest Seminar Tour centered around our in-house concept of four YIN attributes and four YANG attributes which are listed below.  If you want to make a man into a MAN – it is easy to do… be a WOMAN!  Same for guys, if you want a WOMAN – be it’s equal and opposite – A MAN!

Yin|Yang Archetypes Chart © 2009 JujuMama LLC

Yin Attributes  ——————Yang Counterparts

Conservationist ——————-  Soldier (protector)

Lover ——————————- Negotiator (communicator)

Devotee (follower) —————-Leader

Visionary (optimist) ————–Monk (planner)

Here’s how it works…

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction!

The science is relatively simple… Ladies First…

Create a Planner – If you want a (Monk) planner, which is the first male archetype in our YIN/YANG system… a man who thinks about tomorrow and includes you in the plans.  A man who actually informs you, gingerly, about what his plans for you are… a man who states his intentions…  you have to do three things… Its all about being an OPTIMIST!

A.    Don’t make any plans
B.    Trust that the plans he makes will work out
C.    Meet his plans with optimism (even if the plan sounds senseless, wild, or just plain deft)

If you do these three things, you are a good Visionary (optimist).  You listen, you’re full of faith and you demonstrate that you appreciate his planning process (no matter how small or large).  In this way, you create an equal and opposite reaction!

Furthermore, if you stop making plans, you will automatically create a void in the relationship for him to fill.   Your trust and acceptance of his plans (that means no questions or debate) will produce more and more planning on his part!  He’ll love to share his ideas and objectives for the relationship with you!  Try this one for a few weeks and see how well things work!  Don’t even make the slightest plans – let him step into his role as YANG.

(NOTE: If you are gay or lesbian – same principle works – all you have to do is decide who is yang and who is yin in your relationship?)

Create a Leader – If you want a better leader in your relationship, you can have it.  All you have to do it FOLLOW:

A.    Don’t take the leadership position (even in small matters)
B.    Follow the leadership of your yang counterpart (no matter how small or large)
C.    Simply follow… Refrain from going back and forth with your mate when he asks that you follow the plan.

These are very challenging ideas, but guess what?  If you can sustain this receptivity for long enough, your mate will begin to take the leadership position all of the time.  Again, this is all based on the Law of Physics mentioned earlier… Equal and Opposite reaction!  You have to try this one on for size!  Let me know how it works for you!

Create a Negotiator – this is a man (or yang partner) who knows how to communicate, he knows how to introduce you in public, he knows what to say to people in the world like YOUR PARENTS, your friends, your co-workers, he has the gift of gab!  He’s fabulous!  Most important, like any good talker,  he knows how to route money directly to your home using his negotiation skills!  You want this type of man in your life and all men have this potential deep inside.  Now it’s up to you to create it in your man!

Here’s the science – BE A LOVER!

1. Tone your talking down in public, allow him to speak up at clubs, restaurants and so forth, let him settle things with the waiter, the hostess and at the entrance to the club.
2. Dress well and keep yourself in a smile. In public and in private, work to be sweet, relaxed and Divalicious!
3. Compliment your man (or yang counterpart) when he does these things well, compliment your man after you make love with him, and keep your man high on your sweet words, sparse but sweet!

In this way you will create an equal and opposite reaction.  He will WANT to introduce you, represent you and speak on your behalf.  You seem to need it, expect it, and love it!  The compliments will boost his ego so that he feels like the King that he actually IS!  You’ll love the way he begins to open to his role of negotiator… His manners will shot through the roof!  And so will the bank balance!  YUMMY!

Create a Protector – Ladies LOVE a protective, strong, man who loves to serve and give!  Right?  Well, I surely do.  This is the type of man who gives strong love in the bedroom as well as providing strong protection, and security for his woman.  He loves to be the one who saves the day and nothing pleases him more than seeing you happy!  YUMMY!
So how do you create this even from a man who has not exhibited these behaviors in the past?  Well, that’s an easy one…

Be Conservative ~ Be self-focused ~  Internal

1. Take impeccable care of yourself FIRST.  Always think of yourself first!
2. Don’t do anything that you feel is too difficult for you, rather, ask him for help! (I didn’t say order him to do these things – ask for help in a sweet, helpless manner.  Need him!)
3. Be sure to care for your environment. Make sure the internal areas of your home are well kept and that you feel as good as your home looks.                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Again, if you need help, ask! You might say, “ I really can’t handle all of this housework – I need a plan… Can you help me honey?  Make sure you are only doing what you can – and only AFTER you are caring for yourself impeccably so that you are happy and relaxed…

Many women are too busy to practice self-care.  My question is, why are we so busy?  Are you working to remain independent because we are afraid to need anyone’s help?  Or are we working because we HAVE too?  Think about that one.  Another issue here is that women often do the male and female work in the home and in the world.  Don’t do any job that is his job, and do not complain that nothing is getting done.  Which is more important, your health and wellness, your intimacy with your mate, or the garbage being taken out today…the kitchen being clean?

If you want to ease back on any of your work, make it known.  “I am working too hard.  I need to relax more, what do you suggest my king?”  I mean, why not?  It’s time to shift to internal self-care so that you can create the opposite – SOMEONE ELSE to care for the external work!  LOL!

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction!

Men, you can do the same thing with your lady – hopefully you are trying to get your woman to be more feminine, rather than more masculine!  I have heard some men say that they want in independent woman – a woman who works just as hard as he does… I think this is learned thought rather than authenticity… but anywhooo.  Here is how you can make your woman into a Goddess!  This is the JujuMama Creed!

Create a Lover – if you want a better lover you can have it!  Even if your woman is the most prude, closed, non-orgasmic lover in the world!  Even if she has never given you a public or private compliment.. You can create better by doing the following…

BE a Negotiator!

1. Represent in public! Introduce your woman as your girlfriend or wife.  Even if you have to fake it, be proud that she is your woman!
2. Speak for your lover in public – don’t let her do everything – step up and be the voice of the family… grab her hand and pull her away from any talking position, speak for her, order for her, pay for her, be the negotiator of the family…
3. Tell your woman how you feel about her often, be corny, goofy and foolishly romantic, women love to laugh. Tell her she is the center of your world.
4. Make That Money! Make sure that all of her needs are taken care of.  If you can’t do it financially right now, that is OK, practice makes perfect.  The more you have this intention, the more money will come to you – easily!

If you do these things, you will easily create an equal and opposite reaction.  By making her yours in these ways listed above, she will begin to become yours in every way.  She will want to look good for you, honor you and give you the good loving that you have earned!  I promise it is true!  Ladies, can ya’ll tell em please!

Create a follower – Believe it or not, women want to follow men.  Yin wants to follow Yang!  All you have to do to create a woman who will never go back and forth with you, never argue you down and will accept your leadership is be a leader!  Here is how it looks…

A.    Take responsibility for everything that happens in the relationship. Provide solutions when things are out of sync.

B.    Catch issues before they get blown out of proportion. If you see your woman moping around, grab her hand and ask her to tell you what is wrong, if she says nothing, NEVER believe her!  Take her hand, pull her to you, and give some affection.  If she pushes back, pull her nearer and tell her that you care and then ask her again “Tell me what is wrong”.

C.    Lead!  Don’t allow your woman to run the show, tell her to calm down and that you ‘got dis” tell her to just relax and let you handle it.  If she fights this, hug her…  She will quiet down… believe me…
Now this may take a moment to shift, because women are trained to be very powerful leaders in the USA.  However, we don’t always want to do it, we just feel we have to.  So allow her to witness your new behavior for a while, pretty soon, it will elicit the equal and opposite response.  She will submit to your leadership and there will be fewer arguments and squabbles than ever!

Create a Conservationist – all men seem to want a happy woman.  Well, a happy woman is one who is maintaining herself physically, spiritually and emotionally.  She has to have time to care for herself and she usually needs permission to do it, as women are inherently givers…

So make it happen soldier!

A.    Be very externally focused! Focus on providing; focus on giving and being of service to your woman.
B.    Open to giving more time and energy in the bedroom. Now that you have your woman willing and open to share her love, be present with her!  Be strong and eager to please.

C.    Take care of things that are too much for your woman. If she is too busy doing too many things, ask her to do less – as well, take up some of the slack without her having to ask.  If she needs real help – hire it!  Stop her incessant DOING.

If you do these three things, you will bring forth the equal and opposite reaction in her.  She will begin to focus more internally, on herself and then on the internal environment.  She will begin to take time for herself, she will feel relieved and light!  She will easily become happier and more fulfilled in general.  This is the law of the Universe.  For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction!

Create a Visionary – this one is the easiest of them all!  Your woman wants to trust you, but she has never learned to do that.  Just as you have never learned how to elicit the responses you desire from her, she doesn’t know that trusting you will bring forth the part of you that is trustworthy!  So here is the rub:

Become a Planner (Monk)!
A.    Plan, look to the future with her in mind and share your plans with her.
B.    Have help – get counselors, financial managers, real estate consultants and so forth to support you in making those plans so that you know the pans are solid.
C.    Do not go to your mate with a blank slate asking her what she thinks the two of you should do… if you do this, she will become the planner and then resent it later – she wants you to come up with the plans and you can do that!  YES YOU CAN!

If you become that planner, that forward thinker, that lovely, man who is on top of your stuff, she will begin to trust you.  She may not be as optimistic in the beginning, but once she sees that this is your normal modus operende, she will be write pleased!  Even a woman, who has never trusted you prior, will begin to trust.  Be patient with this one, as I noted, women have a difficult time trusting men these days.

So how simple is this?  Really simple right!

Try it people!  You know I love you and I am utterly in love with love!  I have used these principles in my marriage and have shared them all over the country.  These are fabulous!  And they work!  Let me know how well they work for you…

And hay, give it time and patience… We are walking boldly into a new paradigm in Love…

Bliss and Light!

Kenya K

I LOVE his latest piece on relationships - Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man. I feel it is perfect for women who need to understand what a man quintessentially IS.  But of course, like any lover, Steve and I do not agree on everything.  What is most important, however, is that we agree on the basics.

Let us begin with Chapters 1&2.

“A man’s love falls only into three categories.  I call them ‘The Three P’s of Love – Profess, Provide, and Protect.’  A man many not go shopping with you to buy the new dress for your office party , a but a real man will escort you to the party and hold your hand, and proudly introduce you all around the party as his lady (Profess); he may not cuddle you and sit by the bed holding your hand while you’re sick, but a real man who loves you will make sure the prescription is filled, heat up a can of soup, and make sure everybody is in position until you are better (provide); and he many not willingly change diapers, wash the dishes, or rub your feet after a hot bath, but a real man who loves you sure will walk through a mountain and on water before he’d let someone bring any hurt or harm to you (Protect).  This you can believe”

~Steve Harvey

Beautifully written Stevie Baby. So, in summary, chapters one and two are about the difference between men and women.  The ways that men love and the ways that women love are just completely different.  We are a different species.  Men are fire and air, women are water and Earth. This, we must fully understand as we look into our relationships to find purpose.  Steve and I agree here.

It is a joyful union of souls!

Read my review of Chapters One and Two!

In Protocols for the modern relationship I speak on Yin and Yang.  Men bringing the Yang means women can more freely bring the Yin and vice versa.  But what happens when a man is not in his position as Yang or dominant in the relationship?  Many women attract very Yin (passive) men due to our firey behaviors.  Does this mean firey women should scrap those Yin dudes?  Let us get right to the essence of what a Yang Man is…

Steve says, in Chapter One, that “there are three accomplishments every man must achieve before he feels like he is truly fulfilling his destiny as a man.  He must know #1who he is (obtain a title), #2what he does (how he gets his title), and #3how much he makes (he must be rewarded for his effort financially).

So essentially Steve has contextualized manhood in terms of modern social structures.  Not a bad idea!  Very practical.  Think about these three things for a moment.  You would probably agree with Steve.  I agree with his basic premise, however, I would add the matching, overarching, esoteric principles that were here before money was invented (I love money – a stellar energy).  I have to add dat juicy, spiritual, context!  Ya’ll know me!  Steve notes that, without these three things in tact, men are not ready for a relationship with a woman!  So this is HUGE!

I could not agree more that a man must have these three attributes in place in order to love a woman.  I would add dimension.

#1 Who He Is – I believe that men must know who they are on a core level.  This goes beyond career.  A Man must know who he is.  He is essentially, and at his core, Peace itself.  He is able to transcend any emotion.  He is able to choose peace when needed.  He is able to flow back to center at will.  Once a man knows this about himself, he is a man!  This goes WAY beyond career.

There was a time, not long ago, when men were taken to the forest to learn these lessons with the onset of Puberty.  (BTW, this is where our modern idea of Boy Scouting comes from).  Men were challenged with fear during initiation.  They had to see that they could overcome any obstacle from a state of peace.  They were taught proper breathing, diet, and thoughts to elicit this peace from within.  From this place of peace, ANY man can achieve ANY material or spiritual objective.

Also, a man must know his sacred relationship to women.  He knows that he is a healer of women (ask any man, he will tell you he knows).  His healing love is transferred during the act of loving a woman.  He can influence her to receive him and enact upon her as the sun enacts upon the plants here on the planet Earth.  Understanding his power to effect women with his energy and HOW to effect women with his energy makes him a man.  A real man can TAME a stressed out DIVA and settle her energy!  Yummy!

What I am saying is that Who He Is is not solely tied to his position or station in life (career).  Who He Is is a metaphysical concept.  No problem, right Steve?  Yes, my king.

#2 What He Does - now this one is tricky.  A man’s career may not define him.  A man may not be in the career that he loves, but that does not mean he does not know what he does.  A real man (which is all the men I know and you too!) understands that what he does is an offshoot of who he is, not vice versa.  What a man does does not “give him a title”  who he is, gives him a title.  It looks like this:

I am Yang energy walking the face of the planet.  I am peace itself, therefore what I do is… Co-Create what I intend to manifest.  Always and in ALL WAYS!  I am the SUN!

A man who has actualized his YANG force does what is simple.  He lives in a state of stable peace and action oriented determination, moving from one challenge to the next with full cognition that he can effect change at any given moment.  In relation to women, what he does is enact his healing sun upon her cool, YIN Earth to co-create with her; to produce ANY desired end result.

That is what a man does.  From this level of atunement, any man can create anything in harmonious partnership with women.

Does that make sense?

What I am saying is that Who He Is can not be solely defined by his career.  Who He Is is defined by his state of consciousness.  But Steve and I, we jive on that.  We are lovers in the deepest sense of the word – me and Steve!  He couldn’t write all of that because he is writing for the masses, but we have discussed these deep concepts in our pillow talk.  LOL!

#3  How much He Makes | [Acknowledgment For What He Does] – More powerful than the drive for food, is the drive for acknowledgment.  This goes for men and women.  Men, in particular, have a powerful drive for success.  They want to be perceived by the world as successful in what they do.  This can be obtained through a career and/or outside of a career.  This can be obtained through a relationship with a YIN woman.  When women acknowledge men, men feel successful.  With this feeling and energy of success, he can create more success.  It begins with his relationship to MOM and then his LOVERS.

So I think it is not that a man has to be good at “What He Does” – in terms of his career – before he can settle down with a woman.  I think it might be holistic to know that to properly acknowledge our men from a YIN position, to boost our men into success by allowing them to be a success at home, will supply him with the energy to be a success in the world.  Now some say – I am not going to boost that man’s ego!  He needs to be more secure.  I say – You can choose not to acknowledge that nurturing others in the role of women, but when your man is not a success – DO NOT COMPLAIN!

Men show love through action – so when we acknowledge his actions as pleasing, he will feel successful and this energy of greatness will cast him into more and more success.  Men and women together can create success!

Overall – I believe chapter one is well done, Steve! I have added a few esoteric thoughts here.  I just want women to remember that everything she is looking for is not based on materialism.  I LOVE money too!  But we can build money into our lives with a man.  No problem mon!  Women can attract a man with these underlying attributes and work with him to manifest ANY life situation.  I did it, and so have many others.  If I were to have kicked my man to the curb because he had not defined his career, I would not be enjoying his six figured income right now.  We worked on that together.

It is similar to what Steve said in the first chapter, he told a story about a time when he was flat broke.  But it was a woman who suggested he do comedy.  She believed in him.  Her belief alone was enough to get him motivated to do his first gigs.

In like manner, when my husband was out of a job back in my 20′s I could have said, oh, let me leave him, he has no title, no job, and no income.  He is not ready to be my partner. But I did not, why?  Well, he had the underlying structure needed to produce greatness!  He knew #1 Who He Is - A God walking the planet – peaceful in the face of any adversity – #2 – What He Does – he enacts his powerful Male or Yang energy onto life and indeed onto me, planting me with the seeds he wants to manifest and #3 – How Much he Makes – He has always realized that he has infinite potential to make money and more than money.  He can make heaven on Earth through our union when he utilizes his powerful Yang force in love and truth.

Don’t worry.  Most men think this way at the core level.  It doesn’t take massive training!  Men innately believe in their power.

So maybe your current man is not placed in the career he loves, or maybe he does not have a title or the income he desires, but if that core wisdom is in place, you can work with him.  I did not say ‘help’ him.  Working with a man looks like being supportive of him verbally, spiritually, and mentally.  Believing in his dreams and allowing his dreams to take root in your figurative womb.

You attracted this man to you, so he is a reflection. No need to kick him out because he has not “arrived”; you can work with that lovely human being as you both grow beyond your limitations.  We only attract who and what we are.  Steve wants all women to expect more, and with this, I agree.  But that takes a shift in consciousness.  We can’t toss out our men looking for one with more success without first finding within us the point of attraction that landed us our current relationship.  Once we find the similarities,  we work from that point in tolerance and integrity, to move beyond old expectations.  When we do that, the men we are with will automatically follow suit, or if they cannot, they will dissipate into the vapor from which they came and be immediately replaced by that which matches our energetic make up.

These esoteric concepts may be a bit much for Steve to introduce in a book crafted for Western Minds.  But he knew I’d come along to love him in this way. LOL!  You should see the two of us together – heaven, I tell you, pure heaven.

So chapter two made me laugh. Steve is so funny.  You guys are gonna love this.  He goes on to provide the three P’s of Love.  He is describing how a man loves differently than a woman.  I could not agree more.  Men want to Profess (love for his woman), Protect (his family and woman) and Provide (for his family and woman).  Wow!  I LOVE that!  However, what if I am of the mindset that men simply cannot and will never do this?  What if I am an independent woman (let us say my father was a deadbeat and I just got the notion, early on, that men ain’t shit? Mom eve co-signed it!).  How, then, would I attract a man who can provide the three P’s of love?

I suspect many women who read Steve Harvey’s book will do one of two things.  One – they may read the chapter on the three P’s and say – hay – I want a man who will do that.  There are men who will do that?  I want one!  And immediately they will shift their expectations of men, because Steve said so.  Steve will make them believers in this form of chivalry, and Yang Powered love.  Two – some women may say, I never attract that.  I don’t even have it now!  My man is a deadbeat.  I am going to get rid of him.  He is the problem.  I am now going to set out to find this type of man (that I do not even believe exists! – Quandary!)

This second response concerns me.  Why?  Because we only attract what we expect.  We only attract what the brain and conceive and believe.  So getting rid of him is not going to remove the quandary of our point of attraction.  Once that non-chivalrous, deadbeat is gone, we will attract another.  Especially if we read the chapter in the wrong way.  Sure, all women deserve this type of man, but all women are not manifesting these three P’s from their man (who, by the way is fully capable of giving this, just not actualizing that potential just yet).  Steve doesn’t give us the secret, Law of Attraction, trick to making this so in our relationships.  And that is OK too! That is why he has me.  I love you Stevie!

I am here to tell you that if you want your man to Provide, Profess and Protect you, you have to believe that this is what a man IS – and indeed what men are.  You have to go back to childhood, release the men who hurt you, go back to teen life, release the men who impressed you the wrong way, go back and get the lesson – the moral to your story – and shift the past to change the future.  You have to look at your past from a different vantage point in order to conjure a new point of attraction.  In this way, you can attract whatever you want from your current man, or your future man!

Yes You Can!

Steve suggests that if a man is not doing these things, he just does not love you.  I believe differently.  If a man is not doing these things, this is, unfortunately, not what you EXPECT in a man!  You never have had the expectation that a man could or would do these things and so your man will not and cannot, your future man will not and cannot.  This will change when you shift your beliefs about men shift your point of attraction.

Recently I posted on my Facebook page “Single woman asked me if I know any real men – I reply that all the men I know are real“.  This is my belief.  And so, as you saw demonstrated in my Yes Yes Yes ritual, all the men I meet are vibrating here.  Thus, I have no worries.  This takes times and concerted thought effort.  You can do this.  My book, and Steve’s if read properly – can help.  I discuss the power of YIN.  How to shift your expectations for better points of attraction.  I have an entire chapter on how our men are our mirrors – which gives us the power to change the reflections by changing ourselves.

Steve has read my book, Change Your Man.  In fact, I am slated to be on his show very soon!  We will not debate, we will co-create!  Do join me next time for part two of this book review series and do read – Act life a Lady, Think Like a Man by my lover – Steve Harvey.

Bliss and Light

Written By Kenya K Stevens AKA Jujumama xoxoxox

See what a woman Steve has in me!  LOL!

Dance With Me Magical Babies! Let’s dance on through the seasons of life!  The Seasons are not four but eight!  Get on the beat!  Each of the Four Seasons has two parts – YIN and YANG.  Each Season is a sexy dance partner…Dance Along!

Our New Year’s Dance!  September 21

I dance my New Year’s Dance September 21 (which is why you did not see anything about HAPPY NEW YEAR in January on this blog). I really do not acknowledge the western ‘New Year’ so much… because it does not mark the beginning of a New Year!

The fall harvest marks the New Year for Indigenous and otherwise Chic and Classy People all over the world! Is is in early fall that we clearly see the FRUITS of our labor!  From September 21 – November 5, we have a clear view of all we have accomplished…

Think of it this way.  In the fall a farmer witnesses the fruits of his labor. He can now take a peek at Mother Earth and ask WHAT IS NEXT?   He has to begin considering what is desired for next year’s crop…

I dance the Banana Dance in Early Fall!  I look backwards to finding the things that went well and those that didn’t go so well in life and love. I consider what is needed next for success. I enjoy the harvest of my life and choose my next sexy destination!

By November 5 I begin the YIN of Dance of Late Fall!

From November 5 – December 21 I dance the Planting Dance. This is a deep lovely dance arousing my feelings of success to shine forth!  I plant just as a farmer would,  choosing the choices seeds of thought – I visualize my future into being even before the winter comes.  Each of my seedling thoughts is an image of the Bliss I expect!  Each images goes directly into the womb of Mother Earth…

I dance a meditation, a dream, a deep erotic trance dance – I relax.  This is my planting and your planting if you partake.  I LOVE this feeling place dance.

By December 21 – the Universe knows full well what I desire next.  I have communicated with images, thoughts, poems, stories, vision boards…you name it!   Doubt comes to interrupt my dance!  What?  Yes!  Naysayers…creeps and frauds!

Don’t worry.  I expected the creeps.  When we dance a freedom dance, doubt always comes up to be cleared away.  December 21  marks the first day of my solemn clearing dance.  It is MY time – all of our time – to go deep within and find the inner gunk that holds us back in life. Old beliefs, old ideas, old emotional hang ups and so forth must be addressed.

I dance the funeral durge and bury these things!  For once and for all I weed old stagnate energy from my spirit and as I do more of it shows up, more and more each day!  Oh SHit!  I blog it, I release it, I bath it away with coconut milk.  I stuff it away with dreaming of a new day!  I address these issues head on!

No need to hide from the emotions that surface.  I have my machete!  I share the slashing of my old self with the world! My struggles, challenges and so forth… In this way, I make them smaller than they have ever been until my focus upon ridding them from my soul just implode them!  And poof – the winter dance is over February 4 – every year!

(Winter can really suck for those who do not understand the Law of the Seasons…LOL!)

YIN Winter arrives in a FLASH!  February 5 marks the date when I get to stop clearing and begin a process of dancing in a Brand New Me! My seed is in the ground – I have cleared a path – and now I can open to new energy, new thoughts, new ideas!

I have danced room into my spirit!  Hooray for me!

The spaces soon fill with art classes, new friends, new lovers, new life!  The dance becomes erotic as I celebrate all of the ways that new energy settles in to build within me a place for my objectives for the year to situate themselves!

By February 5 you will begin to see my blogs bubble with pre-spring energy.

The energy of an expectant lover – an anticipated kiss – the dance of new life!

March 21 – Early Spring Comes Along – My dance, your dance is called SEEING. We can finally see the light after the dark night and sexy early twilight!  Spring, as you know well, brings all types of dancing into our lives.  We feel better, look better, have more clarity and light!  The weather is better, we eat better – I LOVE spring!

This is the time of year, from March 21 – May 5 – to really SEE all that the Universe has in store for you and me!  The dew is removed from our eyes and we can see clearly the path we must follow for success of our seeds…

Eyes to the sky we open to new possibilities!

I love the YIN dance of early spring…

Write it down – journal the thoughts – collect ideas.  I never act on my goals in spring, I simply journal the massive IDEAS that are channeled in the dance.  Keep on dancing, right?  The show must go on!

LATE SPRING May 5 – June 21 – The Dance Of The Fire Starters…

Now this is a sultry dance folks! You may join in if you would like… Late Spring is the YANG time of springtime!  This is the time for you to dance in your preparations!  You have SEEN what the Universe would have you to do to complete your mission for the year, now it is time to get your troops in order!

DON’T MARCH JUST YET!

The Dance is the dance of a King – the dance is the dance called preparation, management, legislation…

I get all my ducks in a row at this time of year.  If I need a team, I get them!  If I need support, I find it.  Whatever I need to get the JOB done come Summer – I put that into motion and make it happen!

I love this dance, for it is my Native Dance.  I am a manager, leader, king by nature and I get to be as YANG as I want to in the Late Spring just as my Baby seedling sprout from the ground.  I know my plans are working!

And Finally – Summer Arrives with his Must Smell and Sexy Muscles!  My favorite Dance Partner…

I love this LEO time of year!  The sky is hot and ready for my dance!  This is the time to BE the NEW YOU!  Walk into the new reality that you have been preparing for all year!  Now is the time!  The energy for dance is high!  Grab life by the hands and partner with your destiny right now!  June 21 is the Summer Solstice – this marks the time when we get Jiggy With It and Become Born into our new realities!

If we have to produce, we produce, if we have to work, we work, if we have to be different, we become that new BEING!

Dancing is a summer time thing and I absolutely love it!  (I guess I love all the seasons…)

Finally I dance with the world’s greatest marketer! I have produced my product under the heat of summer sun and maybe you have too!  I am loving my product and want to share it with the world!  I send my lovely message to all who need to hear it and they love it – they love me!  August 5 – September 21 is the time to market, sell, trade and barter your product.  Set it up well in a dance of advertisements!  If your goal was a wonderful relationship – Market Yourself honey!

I once had a client who married August 15 after meeting her lover in June!  She CLOSED THE DEAL!  Dance to the close of all deals that make sense for you and your new product.  Late Summer is all about COMMERCE!

So this is my dance of the seasons my friends!  I LOVE it!  It makes the year fun, exciting and whirling with focused thought!

We are currently taking over 100 people through this system – we call it Cn365 and it REALLY WORKS!  I have seen the product of this form of dance in my life and you can see it in your life if you so choose!

Join us at anytime – CLICK HERE - for more information…

Whatever your dance honey, dance on and dance well!

Life is a gift!

Best,

Kenya K Stevens

Your JujuMama